AbsolutePunk.net
   Username
Password
 

Cobra Starship

www.absolutepunk.net/cobrastarship/
Cobra Starship
Information
Location:Long Island, NY (USA)
Genres:Pop / Electronica
Record Label:Decaydance Records
Band Members:
1,360 Fans
Videos
Buy the Music
Music Player
Latest News
NewsCongrats to Gabe Saporta
 
Gabe Saporta (Cobra Starship) got married over the weekend. Congrats to him and his...
NewsCobra Starship Release New Video
 
Watch Cobra Starship's new music video for "#1Nite" featuring My Name Is Kay here.
NewsCobra Starship Release New Version of...
 
Cobra Starship has released a new version of "#1Nite" featuring Kay. Check it a fan-filmed video...
NewsGabe Saporta To Appear on Gossip Girl
 
Gabe Saporta will be making his acting debut (if we don't count that Road Rules/Real World...
NewsBlack Cards Post Video for Cobra Starship...
 
Black Cards have released a music video for their remix of Cobra Starship's "One Night." It's in...
Album ReviewCobra Starship - Viva La Cobra
Posted by justbradley on 01/24/13
Album ReviewCobra Starship - Hot Mess
Posted by Drew Beringer on 08/06/09
Album ReviewCobra Starship - Viva La Cobra!
Posted by Tony Pascarella on 10/27/07
Album ReviewCobra Starship - While the City Sleeps, We...
Posted by Tony Pascarella on 10/25/06
Multimedia18 Gallery Images
The Billboard
Cobra Starship - Viva La Cobra (October 23rd)


Gabe Saporta was born in Montevideo, Uruguay, a tiny wedge of a country between Argentina and Brazil. At age four he immigrated to Queens with dreams of becoming a rockstar. His father, Diego, who had been a doctor in Uruguay, sold scarves on the streets of Manhattan to support his son's habits.

By age twenty, Gabe was well on his way to realizing his dream. In typical rockstar fashion, he crafted existentialist drivel out of his big bag of regurgitated bullshit, developed a messiah complex big enough to house a couple of homeless people, and spread his "gospel" to the four corners of the earth. Also in typical rockstar fashion, he talked a lot of shit, picked fights, and ended up in a bunch of legal battles.

When it finally came crashing down, Gabe found himself lost--living a life without meaning or purpose.
So Gabe headed for the arid wastelands of the Arizona desert to contemplate his existence. In the desert, Gabe spends his days and nights pondering the nature of being, the collective unconscious, the irreducible complexity of bacteria flagellum, and perfecting blue steel--it's more of a softer look; he uses it for footwear.

However, every evening his meditations are interrupted by mysterious lights plaguing the night sky. On one particular such night, the lights are so mesmerizing that Gabe enters into a trance-like state. He becomes catatonic and weightless, so weightless in fact that he begins to levitate. But just as Gabe is beginning to lift off the ground, a cobra lunges from the depths of the darkness and bites him! Bites him right in the fucking neck!

After a week on the brink of death, hallucinating from the venomous bite, he awakes to find the snake with a wet towel in its fangs, patting down Gabe's sweltering forehead.

"Holy shit," Gabe exclaims, "this snake that almost killed me is patting down my forehead
with a moist towelette!"

"Good morning to you too," says the reptile.
"Holy Shit! A talking snake!"

"I am a cobra," corrects the snake, "and the lights that have hounded you night after night are from the starship that brought me here. You see, I have been sent from the future to find you."

"Me?" Gabe asks, flattered and excited at the possibility of validating his existence. "Am I supposed to save the world!?"

"Uh, no," replies the cobra. "Not exactly. You see kid, there is no salvation." The cobra goes on to tell Gabe about the world's final days. Cobras were the only ones who survived.

Shocked by this tale of Armageddon, Gabe finally asks in bewilderment, "then what do you need me from me? What is my destiny?"

"The purpose of your life is to make sure mankind goes out in style."

"How do I do that?"

"By teaching hipsters to not take themselves so seriously and by telling emo kids to stop being pussies. How's that for a start?"
Last Updated: 08/04/08
Profile Tools
Share This Profile  Share This Profile

NEWS, MUSIC & MORE
Search News
Release Dates
Exclusives
Best New Music
Submit News
CONNECT
Forums
Contests
RSS
Mobile Version
Banners, Flyers, Widgets
HIDDEN TREASURES
Free Music
Video News
Sports Forum
AP.net Related News
Recommendations
INFORMATION
FAQ
Contact Us
Copyright Policy
Terms of Service
Privacy Policy
FOLLOW
Twitter | Facebook
PropertyOfZack
PunkNews.org
UnderTheGun
Chorus.fm