Author's Note: "Eternally Perplexed" was my first attempt at writing a Shakespearean sonnet and actually won me second prize (out of about 100 entries) in a contest at my college. It runs with the idea that the world screws you beyond repair sometimes. The latter piece, "The Restroom," started with just that first line. The creative writing class I was in at the time wanted to see where it could go. Enjoy!