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Faith and Accessibility
|Faith and Accessibility|
04/22/08 at 11:55 AM by cassusriff
|I hate being so flimsy with my emotions. Yesterday I wanted nothing more than for everyone to talk to me and be with me until I went to sleep. Today, I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone or have to engage in any kind of awkward conversation. |
I've been hanging out with really cool people lately. The kind of people who like to talk about stuff that really interests me. People who like to vent about how difficult life is out of high school. People who like to watch movies and listen to music and all that stuff. Not that I know anyone who doesn't like movies and music... but I'm talking about people who REALLY enjoy that kind of stuff.
And though a lot of people will say music is their passion and all that stuff. But I'm skeptical... how many people actually listen for the nuances? How many people analyze the structure of an album? How many people read the lyrics and find inspiration? Anyone can listen to a catchy song and sing along. I do it all the time. But there aren't many people who LOVE music in the way I just described.
I want to run somewhere, go out and explore. I've been on a "do good things" kick for a while. I want to help people and make a difference. I'm kinda sick of this whole idea of making a lot of money and being amazing just because I can do something really well that happens to pay really well. Call me an idealist, and I guess I am, but I know I'm going to pursue high paying jobs and all that. I know I'm going to want what's best for me and my potential family. I know I'm going to eat these words one day. But whatever, I can always chalk it up to my young idealism. I'm sure one day we will all look back on who we were at 20 and laugh at our naivety.
I hope not.
I'm so sick of being accessible. But I always feel the need to explain myself to the dozens of no one who read my blog.
Like religion. I get grouped into this Athiest category because it's the closest title to describe my beliefs. But honestly, I go to church and I agree about everything except the whole "God" thing. I mean, most religions have the same basic principles: Be a good person, don't do bad things. I'm giving $1000 of money I don't have to a graduating high school student just because. I'm willing to help a person I've never actually met get through hard times. I suck up my feelings a lot of the time if it makes my friends and family happy. I honestly try hard.
So get off my back if I don't want to limit myself to a certain interpretation of the bible or a certain practice of beliefs. I don't need all the external stuff. I don't need the faith. I'm fine with helping build homes for the needy. I'd love to donate money and resources to the needy and I do it whenever I can. I try to find the good in everyone. If I can do that without the influence of a higher power or the promise of eternal happiness, but just because I feel it in my heart... isn't that good enough?
Seriously, get off this idea that religion is needed to make a person good. I don't believe in any religion and I could stand next to any person and feel confident that I have just as many flaws and just as many great qualities.
I don't fear death, heaven, hell, anything like that. I'm living my life. I'm in my heaven, my hell, and my death will one day come. I'm fine with that. Stop putting me in categories and stop placing me in places created by your own mind. Let me decide that for myself.