So it's 1:30am and I just want to go to sleep, but I can't. This is one of the first days in awhile in which I haven't taken a nap, and I am absolutely not tired. Okay, maybe a little tired. But my body won't shut down. Most kids my age are probably still out drinking some. People from work probably are, everyday it's "Oh, I'm so hungover from last night." Really? haha
I have to give a quick thought to this. Today was Riz's birthday. Happy birthday.
Why have you been stuck in my head so much this past week?
I will never apologize.
I still need my ring back, by the way. I'll send you your stuff once I get that back.
I am such a chicken.
I have orientation at IUPUI on Thursday. I'm really excited about this. I miss "the institution."
Samantha and Brandon are trying to set me up with Brandon's friend Matt while he's back from Afghanistan.
Onward with the search to make the night pass by smoothly.
Things are better here. I'm adjusting to paying bills and rent and stuff. Ariel and Brandon (mostly Brandon) are getting easier to handle.
Seriously. Today I started making shit up again. Went off by myself and created that world again. Everything I don't have in real life. It used to make me feel better, my imagination was so much better than reality. Who really has imaginary friends for this long? At least I'm keeping them in my head. I need them to deal with this stuff. The good things they believe and say about me give me such a confidence boost, because I know it's true things about me that I would never admit to myself because for some reason I'm pretty sure I get something out of being "wounded." I seriously get through some days this way. I can only fall asleep some nights this way.
Whatever it was that made them go away for so long, whatever I lost, I need it back.
I honestly have the idea to have them tell me to stop making them up. To try and say a last goodbye or something.