Bella never really killed herself she just went away. Away from all the liars and dishonestly they stayed.
She knew what was going on and how obessed SHE was, with a fickle-minded guy who thought he was one above.
All that anger kempt inside, tight-lipped converstions between the not-so-close friends, sadly she thought: "When will it all end?".
SHE was really fake, but maybe not so. Bella continually fought with herself over these unworthy foes.
Time after time she'd apologize, and each time it took a year off of her golden pride.
SHE really wanted to be friends with Bella. Bella did not think so.
Bella just thought that SHE was here to cause her more woe.
If SHE did it was never intentional, only accidental.
Bella knew she was socially-awkward, and that was her excuse for not looking SHE in her face when SHE said: "How do you do?"
Bella's not stupid, she's not dumb, she sees through every act everyone puts on.
But SHE, SHE'S not fake. I wonder why Bella thinks of her this way.
Now, SHE is torn and she mourns about Bella's scorn's.
Bella will have her revenge.
Oh, what have I done?
This is Mistake 102.
I killed all my friends,
but I did not mean to.
What did I want?
A little more fun?
I've spin this intricate
web of troubles and
now.. who has won?
Surely not me...for
I am at fault. I reacted
to false rumors, they
spurred my thoughts,
now I am confused
and I fail to grasp the
same question: "What
did I do?". Alas, it's all
my fault. I never once
thought to go to the
To find out what I heard,
if it was true.
I not only hurt me...but I
How can I apologize?
What would they say?
Would they accept my
All I can do now hope
all will be right.
Remember? That web I've spun for all of my gullible friends? Now, I am stuck inside, and once more..I'll have to pull myself together again.
Ha. I thought that maybe someday you'd move from that spot. Maybe you'd stop moping aroung about how you hate everyone and how they are so imperfect. But sweetie you fail to realize, my dear that you are flawed. So deep down to the bone. You cannot even whisper a Hello. I enjoyed your time I took. I guess while I was talking you were obessing about how much prettier I am then you. But you can be pretty without the right looks. Your demenor...the way you act, speak, and feel makes people adore as they do with me... Too bad. You cannot see...what you've become.
His hands would run up the side of her legs, and she would smirk in a unobjectionable way.
He'd whisper sweet nothing's while she fed him honesty, his mind began,
to his dimay, turn another way.
Though he kept her on a leash, and not a moment too brief, he would let
her mold memories of clay. Clay that could be burnt, melted if so, sooner
or later she'd let him go.
She would avoid him now for they were in too deep, their relationship veered
far off from cheap. The lust that they had would quiver at the secrets she had,
"Come hither." To her remorse at an abundant source he caught up with her in time.
She finally confessed and cleared up the mess with a very clear statement. She said:
"I killed someone who looked just like you, and as I feared, it was too good to be true that
at almost an instant I fell in love with you." The stress in his throat made it far easier to croak,
and that is just what he did. At a drop of a dime, he keeled over in time for her the bury the body reel slow.
*Notice how I used "reel" instead of "real". No I did not make a typo.
She came to this school, with thoughts still anew, hoping she'd find the right one. Bella became entranced by his actions and soon grew fond of him. He'd joke and play and ask how are you and Bella would enjoy that for sure. Until his ex round the corner and took him away once more. The ex was nice and never worried that Bella would take Him away. Even though they were not together they still had deep feelings for one another, each and everyday. Bella soon saw this and grew more distant and even asked for a kiss. He did not want to, and rarely was brought to do such a thing, he'd say: "Shall we go out, where it's safer to sprout our blossoming love always?". Bella would smile, that's all she would do but at home she'd cry and scream: "Curse YOU!!". For He also had other women on hold. But it would not stay like that for long...The feelings of his former heart began to re-emerge, but not towards Bella. Towards Ex. Bella did not know what to do because she was deeply,so true, in Love with Him. BUt her quiet demeanor got Bella no where. He doesn't like his women like that. He likes them proud, outgoing, carefree, and smart, beautiful and just a bit tart. Him and Ex started dating again and then that is when Bella drifted away from everyone and she blamed Him and Ex for all her problems.
Good night indeed.
This is my blog for today:
I didn't see him at all.
Maybe they are off laughing and sticking things in each other.
I'm not angry, I don't even feel it.
But for the first time in a while I felt My heart beat today.
If he were to hear this he would call me a succubus.
Maybe I am.
Maybe I am not.
But I do indeed miss him.
And I know he fucking misses me because sometimes I even miss myself.
So he's gotta miss me.
I almost threw up today. I've been sick for awhile...in body and mind.
My thoughts aren't well.
And america is fucking annoying me.
I want Autumn to come back... that is my favorite season. He's still my favorite season, the only reason I keep breathing.