Months ago, my mother had 3 disorderly conduct charges. She called the district attorney and he said he would drop all the charges because she didn't even have anything on her driving record. We just got a letter in the mail saying that if she doesn't pay off her fines, there will be a warrent for her arrest. My dad has been out of a job for ten months. My mom and I are the only source of income at our home. I couldn't support my brother, my father and I along with my father's unemployment. I heard this because I was evesdropping on my parents when they were talking. My mom was crying because she doesn't want us to be taken away.
I couldn't imagine living without my mom in the house. It would kill me.
I realized what I was going to do with "Justin". I'm going to text him tonight. I'll tell him EVERYTHING he needs to know. He really does need to know this stuff. I don't know how to do it, but I'm going to :)
Life is getting better, I haven't cut, or anything in a week. I cried on my mom's shoulder yesterday. Things will get better in time.
There is a guy at school, lets say his name is Justin, we've been friends for a while, and I've had a crush on him since he came here two years ago. I never said anything because he's always had girlfriends and they're all so beautiful, and I'm not. He's good looking but in my opinion, his personality and charm is better than his looks. His current girlfriend, is very very weird. We used to talk, and now after she started dating him, she hasn't said a word to me.
We were texting one night, and he told me that he wished I would've said something about liking him earlier because he would've asked me out because he likes me too. He's leaving next year and I don't know how that's going to work. I don't know how I'm going to be without him because I love seeig him every day, and laughing with him and making jokes. He's just great.
Sometimes I worry I'm just mistaking best friend love, for real love. I've never really had a best friend because all of my friends are just there. They don't really do anything and aren't really active in my life. Justin, is just amazing. He's always there, he's been there when I just needed to cry and be hugged. He's amazing. He's a little bit taller than I am, he's honduran, he's just amazing. I don't know how else to explain it besides that, I love him.
I don't know how to do this. I'm in class, about to cry, he's sitting right next to me. Sometimes I'll lay in bed and start to text him but then, I'll realize I shouldn't say what I really want to, and I just cancel the message. I wonder what he would do if I told him how I really really felt. What if he won't just drop his girlfriend and say, Okay Fantaci, I'd love to be with you (my real name is Fantaci Araee Marlington by the way).
I just hope that I can get over this, and that nobody will be hurt, and he can be with his overly beautiful girlfriend. He deserves someone amazing, and I just don't think I'm good enough.
As I said before, I live in a very rich town. With wealth, comes favoritism. The staff and administration at my school favor the people, and adults with money, and who give a lot to the school. My mom, who works first, third and sometimes second shift, at three different jobs, does not have time to give to the school. She doesn't have time to give to her family. My dad, who doesn't work because he lost his job in June, due to layoffs. And me; I'm the unpopular one. I don't know why they even hate me. I'm always in trouble, but the only people who should hate me for that are my parents. Which, they do. My parents hate my guts. I hate to say it.
I'm an alcoholic. I drink every day and night. When I drink, bad things happen. Last night, I woke up on the bathroom floor, with blood covering most of the floor. I had deep cuts along my ribs, on my hips, my legs, and my stomach.
Besides that, I only have two more years left at this high school. Thank God. It's almost over.
I missed blogging but, to be honest, I was in jail. I recently got out because of my good behavior. I got into a huge fist fight with 7 or 8 people. We all got busted. They had drugs. I didn't. We all got into so much trouble, with court and everything it took so long. I'm at school right now, which I haven't missed a bit. A lot has happened between those two years. I've realized people are crazy and you can't just get into bad things because other people are doing it. I still smoke, and drink, but I don't fight or do drugs. I quit dating, I haven't been involved with any guy in two years. I'm still straight, of course. People here haven't missed me a bit.
Being back in school is really hard because people give me so much shit for this. I didn't want anything super bad to come out of this. People here just think I'm white trash. It doesn't help that I live in a rich town with a bunch of spoiled rich kids who have nothing to do but make other peoples' lives miserable. Everyone's a prep; and people who aren't preps, are losers and get harassed 24/7. I'm a sophomore in high school and I'm about sick of this.
My dad lost his job last June. He is our main source of income. Before, my mom, my dad and I worked. He's looking at a job 7 states away. I think it would be amazing to have a fresh start becasue I wasn't convicted of a felony, so nobody knows me and nobody knows my long criminal record. I hate it here, and I love my mom's courage to get 4 jobs, and sleeps 4 hours a day to suppourt us.
I recently got in trouble at school though. A 7th grader, who brags about sleeping with guys, was trash talking me, so I began to trash talk back. She threw her books on the floor and screamed "Fuck you!" as she ran out the door. I recieved a 5 day suspension. Among my two year absence, I come back to school and get suspended a week later. How am I supposed to turn my life around, when people send me off the edge?
This has been my problem my entire life. People harass me and send me off the edge and I snap and get in more trouble. Over and over again this happens. At my school you don't get in trouble if you're a prep.
I shall write more tonight, if I am able. My parents don't want me on the computer, and the bell for the next class is about to ring. I will continue on my ramble tomorrow. As for today, farewell.
Maybe I'm just picking the wrong guys but last month I started dating this guy, he ended up going to jail, and I didn't know. So I thought he was ignoring me so I moved on, started dating other guys; now suddenly he comes back and expects that we can start dating again. I just kinda left him alone because I didn't want to deal with him. Well, last night I was drinking a little bit and I had four guys asked me out. I was texting five people. The one guy I really like, I really really really want him to ask me out, but no. He is thinking about his band and what they would do without him. He was thinking about the band before me. He says he really really really likes me and I really do like him; but to think about a band that most likely won't make it, before a girl you care about is dumb in my book. Today, I counted all my ex boyfriends, I have over 50 of them. Most of them barely lasted a week, some lasted days. Pathetic. I just recently got dumped by a guy that lives about an hour and a half away from me, but he seemed so sweet and jsut perfect. He lied his ass off, but he really proved to me he was diffrent until he decided to break up with me over Facebook and date another girl who, is just UGH she looks like such a whore, and she dated like three guys at the same time, and she was having sex with them all. It's just so pathetic what guys will do for sex.
What would a good age be for starting a real relationship? Like a serious one. One where you don't break up with the person because you think something beter came along; someone who you love forever and you want to spend the rest of your life with? I mean, I'm just getting sick of flings. I started dating in 5th grade. I dated a 16 year old when I was in 5th grade then after I was done with him I went to diffrent towns and started dating until I had the longest relationship of my life when I was 12. Sadly, it was 4 months long. I have never had a relationship longer than that.
What about school? Should I entirely forget about boys until after school starts? I'm going to be in a summer softball leauge so dragging a boyfriend along woudl be horrible. I did before durring basketball, and he ended up getting me kicked off because he fought with the coach. She was a fucking bitch anyway so I didn't care. Unlike basketball, I actually like (and am good at) softball.
Subject: How old is too old for a boyfriend? I think I'm trying to cram oo much into here but, this guy, I like so much, (yes, the one I was talking about earlier) is going to be 18 when I'm 15; since I am still under the age of consent... How the hell would we keep that relationship alive? And one little slip up and he has to register as a sex offender for life, not to mention the time served beyond that. Would he be able to buy birth control for me? I mean, we'd go to the doctor and he's not my parent, so they'd know he's my boyfriend, and that he's over 18 and that we're having sex. What should I do??? This can be sooo frustrating sometimes :/
Is anyone doing anything fun for Halloween???? Trick or treating? Oh c'mon. You're never to old to get free candy. Never never never! I'm going with two of my friends. We're all princess'. Cuz we're fucking awesome like that. You guys gotta text me. Message me for the number. I'm gonna be so bored until tomarrow. If you guys are doing anything, comment!! Tell me! I wanna know. XD
Well, very. My boyfriend of (what seems like) forever dumped me cold and hard tonite. Painful. Seioulsy. I loved him so much. I wonder. I mean, I can go from guy to guy to guy but this one, i actually loved him. Have any of you had it where you're so in love then they leave? I was balling my eyes out then I realized, everything happens for a reason. Then i thought, what reason would he dumped me for? I wasn't good enough? I didn't deserve him? He's too ego-tistic to think of me? I don't know. Would anyone else?
THis week hasn't been the best. My dad is looking into lawyers to disown me, he's not talking to me, my mom is siding with my dad because she's a bitch. My dad is retarded. At least he isn't beating me. Is there really a bright side to everything? Or more importantly is there a bright side to anything?
Christ I'm stuck in this hell hole called school. This sucks. I can't wait to go home. I'm in like 7th hour. Preps suck. Fuck. How do you get rid of preps? Serioulsy? if anyone can help me please. lmaobbq
Well, life is getting better. I have a new boyfriend, his name is Ben. he's 15 years old. I think I love him but I don't know. I mean, how do you tell when you love someone? I've seen posts on love and stuff but how do I know for sure?
I mean this boy is amazing, he's cute, funny, he cares about me and he wants me for more than just sex. I have to admit the sex is great but, ohh I don't know. Our relationship isn't just about sex but it's good. I know I don't want to be a whore but do you guys think I'm a whore because I've slept with the guy and I don't know if I love him or not? I don't know. I mean, I love him...or at least I think I do.
I'm at school now so I have to cut this short. I promise I will finish later.
Peace, Love and Sex
mIsHy MiShY mAe
This week has been terrible. My fiancee left me. My life is ruined. I was in school and i was balling 3rd thru 8th hour.
I got a new guy tho. He's hot. Still flirting. He hasn't asked me out or anything. His name is Jake. HE'S FUCKING HOT!! haha
But I kinda like this guy in my class.... Phillip! muahahaha
I'm so ugly i don't get why guys like me haha
hit up tha cell 920-299-0074
I'm losing everything, my mind, my friends, the love of my life. I don't know what I'm going to do after everything I cherished is gone! It's just so depressing. I don't know who the fuck I am anymore. Everyone at my school hates me. Durring the school year, I was getting pushed around, beat up, insulted, and I can't do a damn thing about it cuz the police hate my guts!!!!!!!! I'm just going to try to get kicked out of my school so that I can do whatever the fuck I want. Good/Bad idea???
I've been waiting all year for this day! The one Monday I don't have to wake up and get ready for school!!!!! I just woke up. After this I'm gonna go outside and have my morning ciggy. I love those.......
I'm not entirely new to this, but I will start. Hi. I'm Michalina. I looooove to meet new people, I'm very talkitive, I'm not the best behaved student, I love to text. If you want my number just ask me. I won't jude you. I'm not the hating type. I guess I'm goth without the hatrid, and everything. I am aithiest. I don't believe in god, but I won't force you to believe in anything you don't want to. I don't judge. I hate preppy blondes that say "like" after every word. Like, dosent that like, get so like annoying? I don't have a boyfriend, I'm not a virgin, sex is awesome, I love peircings and tattoos. My favorite pet is a spider. I love spiders. I used to be afraid but now I'm okay. I love pain. I don't know what it is about pain but DAMN it's awesome. I smoke. I don't drink. I can't stand alcohol. If you think I left anything out, just ask me. I'll be happy to talk to you