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I'm leaving the same way I came in.
The records that 2011 left me to share with you as my most favored...
01/01/12 at 08:31 PM by andthetruthwill
...therefore the "best".

Death Dealers by Adept

Identity On Fire by A Skylit Drive

What Are You So Scared Of?
by Tonight Alive

The Here and Now by Architects

The End Of The World Party
by I See Stars

Hell Is What You Make It
by Breathe Carolina

Seeing Clearly by Everyone Dies In Utah

My Brain Says Stop, But My Heart Says Go by Fm Static

We Do What We Want
by Emery

Symphony Soldier by The Cab

Better Off by Ten Second Epic

Let's Cheers To This by Sleeping with Sirens

My Devil In Your Eyes by The Color Morale
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If you could only keep me alive.
11/06/10 at 06:14 PM by andthetruthwill
I miss the Friday Night Boys.
I miss Sing It Loud.
My head hurts from them being gone.
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Cause it's hard to remember.
11/03/10 at 10:50 PM by andthetruthwill
A collection of records that meant the most to me this year, therefore my "best" of 2010.

Hold Me Down
by You Me At Six
Make Friends and Enemies by More Than A Thousand
The Emptiness by Alesana
All Shapes and Disguises by Tonight Alive
Call the Cops by Call the Cops
Youngbloods by The Amity Affliction
Fluorescent Youth by Conditions
The Things We'll Never Know by The Honesty.
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Stared straight.
07/06/10 at 10:58 PM by andthetruthwill
There are those moments, be it a girl or a song, that makes your heart beat skip and your stomach drop. I live for that.
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I could be your savior in a second.
04/26/10 at 08:38 PM by andthetruthwill
"I'm handing over my transgressions,
my deep and dark confessions.

I'm telling you the truth.

For the first time it's the truth.
And I'm well aware of consequences.
Don't give me second chances.
Do what you gotta do, do what you gotta do.

You shouldn't test me.

You caught me paying attention.
I finally figured it out.
And when your head's full,
and it's not easy to sleep,
you'll feel that heavy chill
strike you like a stone in your bed.

I'm taking all the sins I carry

to a hidden sanctuary.
Down a spiraling cascade,
through a spiraling cascade.
And when you walk through all the fences,
to every house you lived in,
You fall asleep alone, you fall asleep alone.

It's only natural to get ahead of ourselves.

We fight with hand grenades,
because we've got nothing left.

I am a champion, survival lives in my blood.

You speak of treachery
like you've got nothing to love.

You need to be more impressive...

I can tell by the way that you're shaking,

you've seen this before,
and you can't wait til it's over.
While you're scared to death,
I can offer you wisdom.

Baby, we're growing up,

and we're still building character.
I can tell by the way that you're shaking,
you've seen this before,
and you can't wait til it's over."

- Write This Down "Hand Grenades"

This record has the energy of war.
Each and every song is a battle cry.


Take arms.
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04/10/10 at 04:35 PM by andthetruthwill
Not many girls impress me.

Physically, or otherwise. Hot girls are plenty. Even okay ones are abundant. Between not caring, and being sick of playing games with whores, I've gotten to the point where I rarely turn my head.

Today though, I was physically smitten.

Besides her name, I don't know what she's like yet or anything about her beyond that.

But she smells good. And she smiles a lot.

That's enough to entertain the prospect of gorgeous.
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That somebody's never left you.
04/07/10 at 12:19 AM by andthetruthwill
I am enamored of Alexz Johnson.

She played Jude Harrison on Instant Star.

At long last, she has her own record out.

It's called Voodoo.

Her voice is emotion.

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The entire me turns into reflections of you.
03/13/10 at 09:56 AM by andthetruthwill
Attention should be paid to More Than A Thousand.

They have a new record out soon. It's called Make Friends and Enemies.

Paul Leavitt produced it. He previously made records with The Danger Summer and Gwen Stacy, among a myriad of others in this scene. Working with Leavitt, I do hope that means More Than A Thousand are finally going to make a play for attention here in the states.

They originated in Portugal. And then were based in the United Kingdom for a while.

I've followed them for years. They sing and scream with passion and sincerity.

Everything they have done is remarkably solid.

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02/16/10 at 12:07 PM by andthetruthwill
Valentine's night, I saw Alesana for the sixth time. They played their new record straight through, from start to finish. They were astounding. I was happy.
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American Castles.
02/06/10 at 12:56 AM by andthetruthwill
Well my night was just made.

I'm in the Conditions video for "American Castles."

It lasts for only about an eye blink, but I'm there. Pretty neat and a nice surprise.

2:28 when Brandon does his flip. I'm in the black Stheart shirt in the crowd up front. That scene is from their show last fall at the VFW hall in Melrose, Massachusetts.

Alex actually dedicated "Illuminati" to me that show because I talked to him before they played.

The next night Conditions played New Hampshire and their singer, Brandon, guest listed me and my friend. I ended up talking to the guys in this band over these two nights and they were genuine and kind to every kid who was there for them, and extremely appreciative.

My friend and I even shot off fireworks with them over the river in New Hampshire. Good memories and a pretty outstanding band.

Best of luck to them this year with their upcoming full length and hopefully signing news to come.

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01/28/10 at 07:33 AM by andthetruthwill
It's been three weeks. Since we spoke. Since we touched. Since my world had something in it that felt special.

Now, it's just me and I was wrong to have thought so highly of you. The memories still make me smile, but they are tempered with the realization that I can see the little lies now that I didn't then. I don't even know if and what you were truthful about.

You liked the attention. Was that it? You said I was the sweetest guy you knew, the nicest person you had ever met. How you said you felt like a loser for saving all my voicemails, but loved each and every one of them? That I was your place to go when you were anything less than a hundred percent happy.

I was there. Where were you?

The one thing that gripes the most is that we friends first. Always flirty friends, but friends with a certain prospect. The distance served to keep it that way. It kept us from immediately hooking up, and I liked that. Months of surprise texts and waiting for each other. It all seemed a foundation we were building. I cared. Every word you composed to me said the same.

Do you still cuddle with the stuffed kittie I gave you for your birthday? Does he still stay on your bed when I'm so far away? Did I mean anything at all to you?

The months I thought we had built a trust. Even if things were to end, we owed all to each other to say it. There didn't need to be anything else. It could have been two sentences. To put that time in and then turn your back with utter silence makes me question everything we ever did and said.

I think of you less. I guess that's a good thing.
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No matter what I said...
01/18/10 at 04:43 PM by andthetruthwill
You were never my home.

I don't know you.

"So this is the end, of you and me.
We had a good run, and I'm setting you free to do as you want, to do as you please without me..

Remember when, you were my boat and I was your sea?
Together we'd float, so delicately.

But that was back when we could talk about anything..

Cause I don't know who I am when you're running circles in my head.
And I don't know just who you are when you're sleeping in someone else's bed.

Three whole words and eight letters late and that would've worked on me yesterday
We're not the same. I wish that could change... but it can't.

And I say your name and in the same breath, I say something that I'll grow to regret.
So keep your hands on your chest and sing with me. That we don't wanna believe.

Cause I don't know who I am when you're running circles in my head.
And I don't know just who you are when you're sleeping in someone else's bed.

So it's true what they say, if you love someone you should set them free.
Oh it's true what they say, you went and threw it away...

I don't know who you are. I don't know who you are.
And I don't know who you are when you sleep with somebody else.

Cause I don't know who I am when you're sleeping with him.
And it's true what they say, went and threw it away..."

- You Me At Six "Fireworks."
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One more real fact.
01/15/10 at 10:32 PM by andthetruthwill
I get excited to find pennies. I don't know why, but I find it so thrilling.

Pennies. Nickles. Dimes. Quarters.

They were four quarters on the floor at the gym the other day. I didn't pick them up though. I figured someone might notice that they dropped them.

Today I found two pennies.

The first was in the Hot Topic dressing room. All by itself in the corner. Made my afternoon.

The second was by the shower in the gym changing room. Probably the most random place.

I like pennies and change. Not carrying them around, just finding them. They add up.

Just don't get me started on my bottle fascination. No idea why so many people throw away all those five cents.
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Real fact.
01/11/10 at 11:55 PM by andthetruthwill
I don't like to sleep because I hate that tomorrow comes.
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Even now.
01/10/10 at 09:42 PM by andthetruthwill
Her friend broke up with me for her today. By text.

Seriously. What the fuck?

That's all I wanted to shout. But I didn't say that. Instead I struggled to say everything that is needed to be said in those fleeting moments where it feels like everything is blowing away from you. And you only have a second to grasp out and hold on to what you can.

But it is never enough. Everyone always gives up.

The answers never come. The goodbyes never get said. No matter how much you want them. It's in her hands. She won't say it.

She won't say anything. She won't even talk to me.

How do you claim to care for someone for eight months? How do you say everything that means the world to someone and then just wake up one morning and decided to throw it all away?

How do you decide it never meant anything?

Everything I said to her was sincere. I told her that. I thought we had moved past our only issue. Her lips touched mine five six seven times. I did not count. I did not think I needed to.

But they all counted. I know they did. How do you smile into a person and not be genuine about it?

I asked her if we were going to see each other again. She said yes. And after a heartbeat, she said soon.

I believed in her. I cared about her. I still do. That doesn't erase. Maybe over time it will. And I won't care.

More than anything I don't want to not care.

I could feel it. She was the girl I did not want to say goodbye to. I can still feel her against me.
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Last Updated: 01/01/12 (4,081 Views)
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