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That blog with boring shit about music

A Retrospective

11/20/09 at 02:35 AM by RyanFTW

Prologue:

I packed my shit and left, I couldn't handle it anymore and I left. 20 years old, young and really really stupid.

Part 1: The Boy's no Good and the Post Pumpkin Tits Era

"Let's see... email, what should I put as my username?

Hrmm... RyanFineTunedWeapon?

Nah, I like RyanFTW instead."

Fine Tuned Weapon was the name I used for one of my previous musical projects when I was younger. It had been a rather somber 2007 at that point, with the engagement breaking off. I was between bands and I decided to haul my ass to colorado, where my mom lived then. I was in a state of self loathing at that point, I blamed myself for what happened between her and I. I left all my friends and family in California, most of them without saying goodbye. The only thing I had left was the music. That precious precious music.

What better way to show my fandom for music than to join a music website. I was already a member of punknews.org, but I felt like I wanted more. Perhaps something less negative. It felt like every other set of words were the same on that site, a lot of "fuck this band"s or "ORGCORE!" or "(Random Against Me! Song Title Joke)"s. I deleted my account (mostly because I couldn't name any more sandwiches) and I checked this little place out. Hrm... RyanFTW indeed. When I titled my blog "that blog with boring shit about music" I intended to actually write about music then. It was the only thing I wasn't unsure about analyzing.

I remember my first entries were about what I was recording at the time. Well, that, senses fail and every time I die. Also, there was lots of yelling about A Wilhelm Scream albums. When I did start up, the site was already expanding, getting more popularity (and unnecessary jabs, Ice Nine Kills is still awful). I was so proud of those first of many entries, in fact, I would whore my entries out to staff members and put them in threads, because I was dying for the attention. I remember when they made a "featured blog of the week" segment and I was the first guy they featured. At that point my blog consisted of lists and such. In fact, I got my first Hater that time too, a little guy named saysmydoctor who is actually one of the smarter politically minded individuals I've seen around here now. God save us if he runs for office, god save us all.

2: Dance Clown Boy, Dance!

In what was an interesting and (loneliness driven) desperate twist, I started filling my blog up with bullshit and whatever silly thing I could think of. I wanted to be popular. I whored myself out more, making shitty videos and saying radical things in threads because I knew the newer people would look at me like I was some kind of badass. I could've been using this time to fix the life that was happening outside the imac, but I wasn't getting popular that way. In between the attention grubbing and all that, I decided to move back to california. I was 21 now, and I felt I needed to get back to familiar scenery.

The videos got longer and more absurd. Even a fake running election between me and Corey, another known user on this site. It all climaxed with something really dumb. I decided to do the Brand New Lyric booklets. Granted, I thought it was a good idea at the time, but I was also desperately lonely. Whilst I aggravated a thumb injury from a few years back, I started becoming more and more aware about how stupid all of this was. When I couldn't use a pen correctly (or properly carry a serving tray), I decided to just stop and look around for a minute. Although it was a stupid idea, I did meet people through it and realized how many people were affected by a band like Brand New. Every true story touched my heart, but there was a share of fake over the top stories that were awful. I printed out those heartbreaking stories and made a small booklet out of them. To this day, whenever I'm all jaded on music, I just read it and it makes me remember why music is so great in the first place.

3: The scene is dead, NEWS FLASH?

At this time, I decided it was best to just stay away for awhile. I mean, there were several occasions were I went off my rocker at someone (they were mostly fans of the maine), but nobody can care that much about my presence anymore. At that point though, I had that ignorant bliss. These were now the times of Gabe Saporta's purple pants, BrokenCYDE and Millionaires. Of course, the maine were popular too, but hey, they suck. HARD. Either way, because gabe saporta had become a superstar because of his awful awful band, people felt the need to state the obvious.

So they put up a long, negative blog, grumbled for a few paragraphs, and said something only half right. The Apnet community ate it up like it was a quarter pounder and their thyroid problem be damned. At that point, I started caring less. I knew the state of the scene, I guess nobody else did then, because apparently the popularity was revolutionary. Being a troll was in, and I wanted out. I remember when I was in high school, people were fucking trolls, and now I was one too. It only got worse along when the Gabe Saporta interview fiasco came along. I wonder if people are still being assholes about that. Like it matters at this point.

I think I finally started thinking about leaving when they were making fun of the blind girl for being blind. Yeah, she's annoying, but come on, was there a line?

4. See Ya Later, Alligator!

Yes, this is a blog, on a website that consist of music forums. I AM making a big deal out of this. Yeah, I'm a nerd. Can't help that. Where I was when I first got here was way different than I am now. I am thankful for what I was able to put this website through, and I'm glad I'm not getting banned and leaving on my own. I was a part of this site at one point, and now I'm not. I can't be a troll anymore, it's too straining.

I was thinking it might be easier to just teach new fans the ropes rather than be a dick about what they don't know yet.
It's the older user's responsibility to get on kids about listening to honest, sincere music. To every one of the 6 people who read my blog several thousand times, thanks. You're the reason I wrote so many goddamn entries and I don't think I have anything else interesting to say anymore. I'd probably just piss and moan.

*piss

*moan

Thanks kids, I'll see ya in San Francisco if you're goin to a show.

Ryan

Epilogue:

Remember me as a peacemaker.Well, remember it in an ironic sense.


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