They played my favorite song by them, "The Best of Me". I wasn't expecting it at all. It absolutely made my night and week.
Did something I never do yesterday. Saw the Used tonight, going to Wolf Creek to board tomorrow. And then on Monday I get my half sleeve colored in.
Oh yeah I don't think I mentioned that yet or posted about it. I'm getting a 3/4 sleeve. I already have half of it outlined and am getting the rest colored on Monday. Then setup more appts. It's a process but I can't wait till it's done. It means a lot to me.. It represents a lot of stuff that's changed me and made me who I am and was.
I must say things are alright right now. Having a great week and after getting that new job. Good vibes and directions. I'm stoked for what's coming for once in a long while.
Lots happened but I just want to actually get some thoughts out about my job and current situation.
So I've worked at Pres for 6 years almost 7 [in October]. It's a hospital if you're curious. I've always been a lax person, laid back and maybe even a little lazy. But that's only on my own time. When it comes to my work, job, profession I bust my ass. And in the last year it's come to pay me back. I'm so grateful and blessed especially in this day and economy. I started at the gift shop transferred to the front desk. Made my way to Health Records which is a greatly expanding department. Put the last three and a half years in there and moved up two positions in the last year. All from hardwork.
I've made a great foundation with my managers/bosses and continue to prove I'm a valuable asset to pres and my department. So much so that she offered me another position last week. If I accept which I am it will literally double my salary. Ill be making 50k with out a college degree.
I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself and I know my parents are. I hate money and when people talk about salaries and all that cause life is a lot more than status and money, but the fact that my hardwork got me in this position within 6 short years is where I'm most proud of.
I always give my best and expect it in return. I'm finishing up my degree slowly but surely. I just wanted to share my current situation and give a big middle finger to everyone who doubted me. The key to success is being a hardworker. You get out what you put in and being a good decent person. I'm not saint, but when it comes to work I'm professional and get things done.
I wish I could have a script of what my manager said to me and her praises cause that was enough to make me ecstatic.
I can't even believe it. 50k a year job with no degree. Eat your heart out. I'll always do what I have to.
Well I'm tired of that shit. I say what I say cause I can.
Why are you so interested in what I have to say or tweet?! I mind my own business so you should do the same. Especially cause nothing I do concerns you. I shouldn't say things. I get it, but you look just as bad looking and answering back to my tweets... You care that much about what I have to say. I'm just a scorned ex-lover, right...? You must realize how much we meant to one another if its got you that shook mang. You won! You have her. Congrats. Yeah I care about her and I'm sure what I say doesn't do anything to help my case but the fact I'm under your skin so bad and we've never even met.. That says something. The fact she agreed she wasn't as happy as she could be with you. Along with so much other stuff you don't know. So yes my "friend" you are a replacement. Makes no never mind to me if you believe it or not. It's just a fact. You were in the right place at the right time.
I feel like for the first time in a long time I can breath. It feels alright. Sucks but doesn't.
I have this amazing girl right in front of me and she has been. I think it's finally time to just be okay. No more worrying, even caring and just do my thing.
I always post a Christmas blog and I guess this is it. So stoked for what's coming up. Next week is New Years and ill have completed my resolution. Year without soda. I'm pretty proud of myself. Not many people can or do follow through and finish. Also haven't had fb in a year plus now, not missing that shit either.
Also my 24th bday is the 3rd. So ready to be 24 and leave this horrible year behind. Blink was right when they said no one likes you when you're 23. Haha
Get my sleeve on the 29th and a touch up on the 21st for my chest.
Bunch of awesome concerts coming up. The Used, Pierce and Memphis, Silverstein
I have a lot to be grateful and excited for.
Here's to learning and living. And a better year. 2013
Pierce the Veil - "The First Punch"
Ps. If you're reading this Zach, which you shouldn't be. Fuck you. You'll never have her heart like I did. You'll never know her like I did. Dueces.
I'm such a sucker for ballads, love songs. Anything gorgeous and slow. I've loved them forever. For a guy I love some emotional stuff. It's the passion for music and how it can describe how you're feeling with any combination of words. But to me it's all about the melody. All my favorite songs are slower acoustic or piano ballads.
I've said it before I love all music jazz, rock, classical and even country. Which brings me to why I'm writing this.
Driving home I just heard a new Rascal Flatts song on the radio. Yes, Rascal Flatts. They're like the boy band of country pop. But you have to admit they have some awesome ass, emotional songs. I can relate with a lot of them. It's been a while since I've heard anything by them but this one like many others caught my ear instantly. It's called "Come Wake Me Up"
I love when a song is presented to me right when I need it or should be hearing.
I've come to the conclusion that it's probably always going to bother me... Not a lot, but there will always be something unfinished.
When you're more in love with the idea of marriage than you are with the person you're marrying, that never ends well. I can't count on my hand how many times this year alone that has been proven to me. People that have been together for years and get married then break apart within a year.. You expect your misplaced feelings to last with the sloth.. Just another sinking ship. I hate that you have to make this mistake, but everyone has to make mistakes I guess. I've made plenty. I've learned from them and still am. It will never make sense to me especially how well I know you and everything we'd been through this was the worst and most backwards thing you've done. I blame myself for pushing you somewhat, but I thought you were smarter than that. I know you are. Damn.
Ahh!!! I can't wait till I don't care about this anymore. I don't, but I do because there was so much wrong with the situation. It's complete and utter bullshit. I know it'll catch up to you tho. Everything does come full circle. I hope when it does you'll finally have the guts to talk to me and give me the reason you destroyed something so great with something that will never last. I'll always wonder what went through your head when you made the biggest mistake of your life. Saying yes. "Where were you when I needed you the most"
I hope you can put the pieces back together when they fall apart... It's not easy.
Ship Captain Crew - "Talking to Your Ghost"
Always two steps forward and three steps back.. It doesn't make sense to me at all. But a lot can happen in a year.
It's been a year.. a long year. A difficult, but good year. A lot has changed which is to be expected. But I tried to make a conscious effort to better myself for me and for others around me.
This time last year I was honestly a wreck and up to this point I can't lie I'd slowly been trying, climbing, doing anything to get out of this whole I had dug myself. I feel like I've emerged from one of the worst places I'd ever been in my life a better person. I'm no saint and don't claim to be. I know my faults and my failures, but I've accepted them and have been learning from them.
Figured out what I need to do to be better. To fix what was wrong. I set myself some goals and changed a lot of the things I knew that weren't me. Found a better me. I still have a ways to go, but you have to start somewhere.
Haven't had a soda since Jan 1st, lost 25 pounds since this time last year. Have been paying off all my bills and just getting my life in order. Got two raises and a promotion within the last year from working full time and my ass off. I can say I'm pretty proud of those accomplishments.
If I say I'm gonna do it, i'll do it. I've become more reliable for others and myself. I just feel like even tho losing my grandpa and someone who was really close to me this year helped me grow a lot. Even with my grandfather gone he's still helping me become me. Always pushing me to be better.
Positivity and love.
I'm still human. I feel hurt and feel happy. It hasn't been a whole year of great things and changes. I mean you gotta fall first before you can get back up. A lot of things I'd love to change and fix about this past year, but I'm still rolling. Planning on losing more weight and finishing out my new years resolution. Will be a cool thing to say I've done. Seems like not many people actually finish a New Years resolution.
In recent activity.
Just got back from Denver with my friends. Remind me to never go on a trip with Delila again... I'm surprised I didn't go insane.. in four days. All I can say is wow. Had a great time seeing Pierce, Sleeping and Tonight Alive, but damn. Too much stress. I ain't about that life anymore haha.
Also, recently I've gotten another tattoo. So I'm up to three haha. Chest, back and side. Came out perfect. Couldn't have asked for a better piece. Now I'm setting up my arm appt. this week. Gonna get a huge owl and clock half sleeve for my grandpa which also has some other meanings to it, but I wont get into those. I'm addicted even more than I was before. But this next arm piece is going to be awesome. I can't wait. I'll have to post a picture when it's done.
I haven't updated as much as I usually do and I know I'm forgetting and missing a lot of stuff I wanted to say.
But the jist was that I'm glad I've grown. Even if it is a little at a time. It means a lot when people recognize my progress. I've learned people need to speak more, feel more, show more love. Ever since I have been everything's a little bit better.
I'm sure I'll come back and edit this whole blog cause it is a cluster fuck of ideas.. So I leave you with some lyrics I'm contemplating adding to my sleeve at some point. They hit me when I needed it most and really helped me.
"These bones are only temporary..
I can't say
The past will never get in the way.
Just remember, all things come and go,
But they don't mean a thing.
It's not about what you have now,
It's what you have in store... LET GO"
thimble on my chest, right above my heart..
It's funny to me that I tell people what my tattoos mean, but I know only about two/three people actually know what they mean to me with out even saying a word, what they truly represent..
Finally got to listen to Close the Distance. Loved everything they've done up to this point.
Then they go and make this song (I Won't Lie). Possibly topping Goodnight Mood as best Go Radio song ever.
Yet it's perfect to me because it was everything I couldn't say and wanted to. In a song. It's rare that songs do or fit with something so perfectly. Jason pretty much belts out my heart. I can't get over his voice and the way he meant every word for me. The acoustic version from iTunes is possibly even better.. It's insane. Haven't felt emotional from listening to a song in a long time. It was weird. I wasn't expecting it. It's that good.
So thank you for writing this song. It resonates a lot with me. In so many ways. These guys should be and hopefully will be huge.
If you haven't heard it give it a listen. That song. The whole album. Definitely going to be top albums not only just of this year. I got that song at the right time.
Music is everything to me. I couldn't survive without it. Definitely.
Can't really explain how excited I am for the new Go Radio album. Been looking forward to it for quite some time. It's been my most anticipated of the year and will probably be in the top 3 of my AOTY list.
Especially after everything I've heard about it. It's gonna blow Lucky Street away I feel. The album they were meant to make. I mean the two singles are already top notch and from what I've heard aren't even the best tracks.. This is gonna be a perfect fall album. Perfect timing. Pretty much everything I needed right now. Two weeks needs to pass a lot faster.
Enjoy. And check em out if you haven't. This band should be top 40 radio.
"And let me make this crystal clear"
I've followed this band since they formed. Have Welcome to Life signed. Jason just sings my heart haha. Perfect.
Even after destroying me you still couldn't tell me you didn't love me anymore..
It makes me laugh and smile. When you do those things that prove to me what I've known all along. Prove you still think about me, us. I mean I'm okay now. I won't say it didn't hurt, that it doesn't sting sometimes. Yet, something that big that changes you wholey to the core you treat as if it was nothing, but you still talk about it.. You're not fooling anyone. You wonder why people don't believe you. But we both know the truth. We both know how it ended and how you were always good at forcing yourself. 2 years wasn't nothing. It got you to where you are now. Whether that be the wrong place or right only time will tell. Do us both a favor and stop acting like it was nothing because you're making it obvious it was much more then that. You shouldn't be thinking about the past when you have so much "future" going on. This wasn't my choice and I fought with everything I had. Literally. I had my regrets which are now just dying stars but yours only seem to be getting brighter. You can't say something when you don't believe it with all your heart.
I haven't written in a long time. No need. Worked on myself. Been becoming a better me like I needed and should have been for you. True love never dies just gets replaced with look alikes. You left me with only one option so I took it and have only looked back as much as my heart allowed. You're still there lost in the folds, happy thoughts I can't quite hold. Tucked away with everything I can. Like a coal smoldering in the back of your mind. Give it any oxygen and it'll flare up that fire you've tried so hard to put out. Replace.
"I'll be seeing you"
I know you avoid seeing me just as much as I with you. Because like everything else we both know (we knew each other too well) when that day comes I'm sure your heart will finally tell your head what a mistake you've made.
Mine already did. You just always held out the longest..