It's been a year.. a long year. A difficult, but good year. A lot has changed which is to be expected. But I tried to make a conscious effort to better myself for me and for others around me.
This time last year I was honestly a wreck and up to this point I can't lie I'd slowly been trying, climbing, doing anything to get out of this whole I had dug myself. I feel like I've emerged from one of the worst places I'd ever been in my life a better person. I'm no saint and don't claim to be. I know my faults and my failures, but I've accepted them and have been learning from them.
Figured out what I need to do to be better. To fix what was wrong. I set myself some goals and changed a lot of the things I knew that weren't me. Found a better me. I still have a ways to go, but you have to start somewhere.
Haven't had a soda since Jan 1st, lost 25 pounds since this time last year. Have been paying off all my bills and just getting my life in order. Got two raises and a promotion within the last year from working full time and my ass off. I can say I'm pretty proud of those accomplishments.
If I say I'm gonna do it, i'll do it. I've become more reliable for others and myself. I just feel like even tho losing my grandpa and someone who was really close to me this year helped me grow a lot. Even with my grandfather gone he's still helping me become me. Always pushing me to be better.
Positivity and love.
I'm still human. I feel hurt and feel happy. It hasn't been a whole year of great things and changes. I mean you gotta fall first before you can get back up. A lot of things I'd love to change and fix about this past year, but I'm still rolling. Planning on losing more weight and finishing out my new years resolution. Will be a cool thing to say I've done. Seems like not many people actually finish a New Years resolution.
In recent activity.
Just got back from Denver with my friends. Remind me to never go on a trip with Delila again... I'm surprised I didn't go insane.. in four days. All I can say is wow. Had a great time seeing Pierce, Sleeping and Tonight Alive, but damn. Too much stress. I ain't about that life anymore haha.
Also, recently I've gotten another tattoo. So I'm up to three haha. Chest, back and side. Came out perfect. Couldn't have asked for a better piece. Now I'm setting up my arm appt. this week. Gonna get a huge owl and clock half sleeve for my grandpa which also has some other meanings to it, but I wont get into those. I'm addicted even more than I was before. But this next arm piece is going to be awesome. I can't wait. I'll have to post a picture when it's done.
I haven't updated as much as I usually do and I know I'm forgetting and missing a lot of stuff I wanted to say.
But the jist was that I'm glad I've grown. Even if it is a little at a time. It means a lot when people recognize my progress. I've learned people need to speak more, feel more, show more love. Ever since I have been everything's a little bit better.
I'm sure I'll come back and edit this whole blog cause it is a cluster fuck of ideas.. So I leave you with some lyrics I'm contemplating adding to my sleeve at some point. They hit me when I needed it most and really helped me.
"These bones are only temporary..
I can't say
The past will never get in the way.
Just remember, all things come and go,
But they don't mean a thing.
It's not about what you have now,
It's what you have in store... LET GO"
thimble on my chest, right above my heart..
It's funny to me that I tell people what my tattoos mean, but I know only about two/three people actually know what they mean to me with out even saying a word, what they truly represent..
Finally got to listen to Close the Distance. Loved everything they've done up to this point.
Then they go and make this song (I Won't Lie). Possibly topping Goodnight Mood as best Go Radio song ever.
Yet it's perfect to me because it was everything I couldn't say and wanted to. In a song. It's rare that songs do or fit with something so perfectly. Jason pretty much belts out my heart. I can't get over his voice and the way he meant every word for me. The acoustic version from iTunes is possibly even better.. It's insane. Haven't felt emotional from listening to a song in a long time. It was weird. I wasn't expecting it. It's that good.
So thank you for writing this song. It resonates a lot with me. In so many ways. These guys should be and hopefully will be huge.
If you haven't heard it give it a listen. That song. The whole album. Definitely going to be top albums not only just of this year. I got that song at the right time.
Music is everything to me. I couldn't survive without it. Definitely.
Can't really explain how excited I am for the new Go Radio album. Been looking forward to it for quite some time. It's been my most anticipated of the year and will probably be in the top 3 of my AOTY list.
Especially after everything I've heard about it. It's gonna blow Lucky Street away I feel. The album they were meant to make. I mean the two singles are already top notch and from what I've heard aren't even the best tracks.. This is gonna be a perfect fall album. Perfect timing. Pretty much everything I needed right now. Two weeks needs to pass a lot faster.
Enjoy. And check em out if you haven't. This band should be top 40 radio.
"And let me make this crystal clear"
I've followed this band since they formed. Have Welcome to Life signed. Jason just sings my heart haha. Perfect.
Just got a preview taste of what's to come from their new EP that's dropping in Nov..
I've written many a blog about this band and I will gladly write many more. If you like or have heard of Stages and Stereos you're in for a treat. I can't say much more because I was sworn to secrecy. But a little hype wouldn't hurt.. muwahahahaha
Haven't written a blog for a while, but this definitely deserved one. Have been one of my favorite bands since 08/09 and will forever be.
I feel you'll be hearing a lot more about and from these guys in the near future. Second time around is definitely the charm for these strapping young lads. Don't be one of those people that are late to the party. They're going to be making a huge splash.
For fans of Mayday Parade typeish catchy rock/pop goodness. Daniel's got a voice and the music is awesome.
When you start to realize that you had it right.. Yeah there were things I could have worked on, did better, but I wasn't given the chance. But everything they realize now I had already been doing. Just shows me even more that it takes two and I wasn't the only reason things didn't work out when they could have and should have. I had a few things wrong, but I had a lot of it right. Especially the heart. Makes me see that it really is a choice.
Sleeping With Sirens - "James Dean and Audrey Hepburn"
I know one day it'll hit like a ton of bricks.
I think I'm gonna get that line tattooed on my forearms. One line on each arm.
"they say that Love is forever" "your forever is all that I need"
The Early November used to be one of my favorite bands of all time. I remember having a mix with them Finch, The Starting Line and Blink 182 back in like 7th grade.
I remember downloading music for hours at a time from Kazaa Lite. The first time my home computer crashed and I lost everything... Thousands of songs and music videos, stand up and stuff.
The Early November bring back a lot of memories. I was sad when they left.
Just heard their new album.. Shouldn't be out for a while now, but wow. I didn't expect to like it as much as I am. Especially after first listen. They grew with me, I guess I grew with them. I'm not a jaded fan. I realize bands grow and change and I'm glad they do. Definitely when It's in a good direction.
I can't wait to add this album to my collection. Just picked up a physical of the new Sleeping With Sirens EP. Amazing.
Got it at Warped yesterday. Have to say it was an amazing time. Probably one of the best I've been to. EVen tho Yellowcard didn't play for some reason.. Lame
Got to see Miss May I, Bayside, Senses Fail, ATL, NFG, Sleeping With Sirens, Memphis May Fire, Pierce the Veil, TBS, The Used among a few others. I have to say that's a pretty badass day of concert going. Got mad sunburned haha but it's already faded and I'm brown. I told people I get brown and they didn't believe me until I showed them haha. I just don't get a lot of sun..
I guess I'll update later. I always just jot shit down.
The Early November - "Tell Me Why"
Edit: Oh yeah it's been officially 6 months since I've had a soda. My New Year's resolution was to give it up for a year. Half way there. Mark it off my bucket list I guess haha. Finish a NY resolution. It's not that hard to do, anything for that matter. Just gotta want to.
I absolutely love this line. Almost as much as, "I was constructed for you and you were molded for me"
It holds so much weight in that one sentence to me. I meant that with all my heart.
I'd love to get this tattooed on me. Or with someone I really care about. They get the first half and I get the second. I love this song and band. One of tIhe bands I'm looking forward to seeing most at Warped Tour
Their new acoustic EP is perfect.
If you were a movie, this would be your soundtrack.
This and the new Pierce the Veil are hitting me perfect right now. Love them and needed them.
I'm really starting to like someone. It's kinda of weird and scary.. Haha fuck.
It's been awhile since I've written anything worth some thing. Went and returned from Washington DC. 26 hour road trip. Was an experience. I'm proud to be an American. Sounds stupid but seeing all that stuff the monuments and white house makes you appreciate where you came from and our history. But yeah it was a great time. Another escape in a sense..
I just lost my grandpa two months ago and his wife my grandma whose had alzhiemer's for the last 13 years recently took a fall and isn't doing well. I'm probably gonna lose her to pretty soon. She has water on her brain and isn't doing too well. It's hard. Especially after losing him. The way she looks at me. She knows me and knows she loves me more than anything but can't remember my name.. It's just hard.
This had been one of the toughest years of my life. I feel like I've been through a lot. I've already lost two people that meant everything to me and now I'm losing a third all within three months. I just hope things change. Start to look up. I love you grandma.
I'm the most optimistic person I know. My buddy Devan told me last night that "I genuinely care about everyone. That I have a huge heart". It made me feel good he sees that in me. Others have said that but when he did it meant a lot. I don't like burdening people with my problems or issues. It's just me I'm independent. It spills over into everything and it's not always a good thing but I feel like it makes me strong and weak at the same time.
Idk I trust things will work out. They always have a way of doing just that.
I still have my music. Wrote a lot of new stuff recently. Outlet I guess.
I'll edit this later since I usually write it from my phone.
I'm not really one to get into hardcore/metal bands.. About the hardest I listen to is A Day to Remember. Which is nothing if you really think about it. But the other day my best buddy Rob threw on some new stuff that he had just gotten into too. I've heard of these guys before, but never gave them a chance. I usually just lumped all those hardcore bands into a biased category of music I'd never listen to.
But for some reason like so many other bands at certain times it just hit me at the right time. Full force. I absolutely love this band. Memphis May Fire and their last release called The Hollow. It's pretty hard, but I love the clean vocals. Especially his voice. I also love that I can actually understand what the screamer/growler is saying. Most the time it's so bad I can't understand half the crap that is coming out of the screamers mouth.
This is just what I needed I think. A little different then I'm used to, but I'm always up for a change and this is a good one. Not like I'm gonna start loving hardcore music. I just like being able to listen to a band like this then shoot to Earth, Wind and Fire, then be in the mood for The Spill Canvas or Jazz haha. I love music and I'm glad I found a new appreciation for this type of music and definitely this band. I gotta see them live now on Warped. Just another band to add to the list of bands I want to see this year. I think the count is 14. This year is probably gonna be the best year I've ever been.
"The Unfaithful" & "The Haunted"
Edit: It's cool to see my blog up on the charts. Maybe one day I won't be just one the one with the most blog posts, but also most views. I'm getting up there. Almost 70k. That's awesome.
So today I was hanging with my buddy Rob and our friend Sean aka (Asian Sean). Known him since middle school. Pretty cool guy. So we get on the topic of Astrology and lately I've been finding it very interesting. Idk why just have. So I was learning a lot of new stuff I'd never even known or thought about before. He's kind of into an told me I was a straight capricorn because I was born right in the middle, not near either ends really. And found out my moon is Scorpio which means that's my personality "at night" or how I act. Essentially my other side. So I start looking stuff up which I've posted beneath. It just blew my mind how similar I am to both Capricorn traits and some of Scorpios. It's quite crazy to see how I get some from both of the signs. Super interesting if nothing else. I still can't believe how well both signs suit me. Then we started talking about people and their signs and relating it to their behavior and it was cool cause a lot of it made sense and clicked. Makes ya think. But yeah it was just a good deep talk. I love having those haha. The first one is pretty spot on. The second is just interesting to see some of Scorpios ways. I'm by no means a astrology nut. Just something cool to learn about, look into.
I can't explain how excited I am for the new Spill Canvas record and the new Yellowcard record. Along with many others that we will be getting this year. It's a great year for new music in my eyes. A lot of my favorite bands are releasing albums. And so far I couldn't be more stoked from what I've heard.
The songs that The Spill Canvas have released so far are excellent and Gestalt comes out tonight. It's already past midnight, but I'm guessing that's Pacific time. I know it's gonna be absolutely amazing. One of my favorite bands.
Now as for Yellowcard. Their new single is absolutely badass as hell. Super catchy. Love the vocals and lyrics and everything. The melody and chorus are killer. I'm actually listening to it again for the 5th or so time as I write this. I absolutely loved When You're Through Thinking Say Yes, but already this song as me more hyped than I was for that album. I feel like this is gonna be Ocean Avenue's little brother, but just as huge and amazing as that album came to be for many people. They're back and I can't wait to hear it in it's entirety. Especially that song with Patrick Stump from Fall Out Boy and the one with all the guest singers.
Getting me even more excited to see them on Warped Tour this year. One of the bands I'm looking forward to seeing most.
I'm sure I'll post my impressions and thoughts on TSC later and probably Yellowcard at some point.
"You only care about yourself. Never took the time to think about somebody else. You think about yourself, dragged me to the edge of Hell and never cared if I fell."
I can't put into words how perfect this line is..
"How can you live with yourself?"
Within the last 6 months there was a spot in my beard that had no hair. There was hair before, but I came to realize all the stresses and everything I was going through had made it fall out. Or stop growing. It was a perfect circle where the hair stopped growing. The other day I noticed that it had come back.. I don't have that spot anymore.. I got my beard back. Among other things.