i am a loser. i have no friends, well..i do have some.
i just wish i was out-going.
i wish i could break my shell and just TALK to people. there are so many things i want to do and some many people i want to be friends with, i just CAN'T.
and i don't get why!
i try, and i try..i just can't..
i look at myself, and all i can think is, "what on earth could anyone see in me?"
i'm pretty much anorexic. you can see my bones, and my veins, without me sucking my tummy in.
i eat, but i always feel fat.
i don't really have any physical attractive features. i mean, i don't have a big butt or like frigin huge boobs.
i'm just tiny and weird looking.
i have glasses, and my teeth don't look quite right.
i'm short, i feel fat. i always hurt in some way.
oh, and did i mention i'm more than likely going to be stuck alone?
everyone breaks up with me because i won't have sex with them..and it sucks.
i can't even hang on my best friend because her boyfriend gets mad at her.
what else am i supposed to do?! i have NO ONE..and i can't even sit on my best friends lap?
am i really that horrible..?
i know i'm not happy, i don't need you to tell me to stop frowning.
it's not that i don't want to smile, i just can't. no one realizes how dead i feel inside.(after everything thats happened) i find no point in trying to find happiness when i know the only happiness i have..(it's in you). but, i don't have you anymore. you're not mine to hold, not mine to love.
this was by far the worst decision of my life. i want you, i need you. i wish..(that everyone else could see).
it's not as simple as getting over you. no, that's far from simple. how could i just get rid of a big part of my life?
because getting rid of you would mean getting rid of the.
that feeling of love?
having someone to call your own,
the person who makes you feel complete.
not being able to live without the one.
some try to describe it,
others say its indescribable.
i wish i knew it,
say i've experienced the truest of love.
i know the truth. it isn't real.
you can say i'm lying,
and i truly hope i am.
but this is what i believe,
and sadly; you can't change it