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The Remnants of Uncertainty...
Funny Thing Is...
09/27/08 at 08:00 PM by cassusriff
I met the girl of my dreams tonight...

hmmm, is anyone interested in some thoughts on the new Anberlin, Gym Class Heroes, and House of Heroes? How about a Razia's Shadow preview?

Stay tuned...
Tags: girl, personal, music, reviews, previews, anberlin, gym class heroes, forgive durden
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On My Own
09/27/08 at 11:18 AM by cassusriff
Okay, so honestly? Honestly? I fucking LIVE on my OWN. Okay? Let's get that through our heads everyone. Because I'm feeling like some people just don't get it.

When I say I LIVE on my OWN. I don't mean that I have a job that pays my rent or that my parents send me money to cover rent every month, I'm saying that I pay MY rent.

When I say I LIVE on my OWN. I mean that I work 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week, sometimes a little overtime, and I get paid every two weeks and make about $2000 a month that immediately goes to all of my bills.

When I say I LIVE on my OWN. I mean that I go to school after work and struggle to even pay for community college tuition. I can't afford my books and have to take my calculus tests without being able to study. I have to miss class sometimes because I can't afford the gas to get there. My only time to study is from 10:00pm at night when I get home until the time I go to bed.

When I say I LIVE on my OWN. I mean that NOTHING is paid by anyone else for me. I pay $200 a month for one year of student loans, I pay $170 for car insurance, I pay $60 for cell phone, I pay about $100 for utilities, I pay credit cards, I pay for food and gas and anything else I want. I PAY for all of this.

When I say I LIVE on my OWN. I mean that there is only a certain amount of bailouts I can afford. My parents will leave me in the red and not care. My dad can't afford to send me $200 a month that he promised because he used to steal my Christmas money when I was a kid. My brother is struggling just like me. My friends use their own money for their own stuff. And this awesome girl was the only one who was willing to buy me my Calculus book.

What I am saying is, I LIVE on my OWN. I'm 20, I'm poor, I'm struggling, and I don't have much support. So when I can't afford a trip to LA, I have to think about the fact that if I did go, I would probably come back to an evicted apartment. I'm sorry that some people can't fathom that idea, but this is my life. So HONESTLY, all I ask is that you try to understand before you shit on my situation. Because I stay happy for the most part as long as no one else tries to tell me that I am a piece of shit because I had to break a promise to SURVIVE.

I stay happy with all of this, and if you can't understand that then I don't need you. I don't need anyone to tell me I'm not worth something, because I'm honestly worth more than a lot of people I know...

Even if my bank statement says differently.
Tags: money, personal, issues, friends, life
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Give me a Break
09/26/08 at 05:49 PM by cassusriff
Hey, so I've been meaning to do more videos and I totally wanted to be on RyanFTW's podcast today, but things have been kinda crazy. I'm heading to LA right now to hang with my friend for his b-day and go to the UCLA game tomorrow. After this fun weekend I'm really going to buckle down and get on track. I need to sleep more, continue working out, focus on school, really save up, and just get on a better routine.

So starting next week I'll be a bit more consistent. Promise!

Talk to you all monday.


Nevermind, can't afford the trip to LA. You'll be hearing from me this weekend soon. Right now I'm going to sulk and hate the fact that I let down my friends because of stupid money issues.
Tags: weekend, LA, break, routine, life, personal
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The New Political Party
09/24/08 at 05:53 PM by cassusriff

There is a new political party that we haven't given an official title yet. It has millions of followers. It has Democratic, Republican, and Third Party values. It is indicative of many Americans, showing no stronger correlation with Men or Women, Blacks or Hispanics, Middle Class or Affluent. It simply exists in the people who hold their opinions with a certain regard and won't even regard anyone else's opinion. This party exists in the people who like to cut those down who don't think like them. This party exists in the people that are apathetic and think that as long as they look out for themselves they don't need to worry about anything else.

And what do we call this party? The Elitist Party? The Arrogant Party. The Generation Y Party? For argument's sake, let's call this the Elitist Party, because it plays on a general theme of this election.

The Elitist party is not strictly anything but a collection of subcategories. Liberal Elitists will say that conservatives always attack character and make false claims and never attack the issues. Conservative Elitists will say that Liberals make unrealistic promises, put too much in the government's hands, and that they are out of touch with the 'average' American. Third Party Elitists say the general American public is bipartisan and too extreme to one side instead of meeting in the middle where issues can actually be resolved.

So there is no right answer. There is no correct stereotype to make.

Because, you see, there is no party that can make a claim to sharing every detail of opinion for every member of that party. Because the truth is, there is no one person that shares your exact belief system. Granted, there are people who are close. Very close. Inches away even. But there is some fiber of belief that separates you from every other person in the world. Yet we are forced to all fit into a category. I've looked at dozens of political parties, finding many that match me one way or another. But in the end, when it comes down to the big decision in November, I have two choices. Democrat or Republican. Even though I don't completely agree with the ways of either party.

And the proof is in the polls. You have registered Republicans voting Democrat and vice versa, you have Third Party people like me voting one or the other. When it comes down to it we all have to pick one of two. Not necessarily the one we really want.

And then because of this party system, we take sides and argue and accuse. We talk condescendingly to our peers and write them off as ignorant if they don't completely agree with us. Well that's the problem. NO ONE completely agrees with anyone. There is always some conflict. But no one is ever willing to accept another point of view or find valid points in different arguments. We can't just blindly believe that everyone will think our opinion is correct, even if we feel so strongly that it is. We can't force other people to think the way we do. So why can't we debate and talk and discuss without animosity? Why can't we consider other thoughts and let those thoughts influence us?

I know that my beliefs change often. I see valid arguments all across the board. That is not to say that I don't have opinions of my own, but I'm not going to ever discredit someone's opinion, no matter how stupid or out of touch I think it is. I don't need to disclose what I believe in, because that isn't the point. The point is that I have a hard time finding someone who can talk about different opinions without feeling like they want to convince me to think their way.

So, essentially, this Elitist party is why we have parties. Because there is no way to have a true Democracy. Too many people don't like to think for themselves and like the ease of choosing something off a menu rather than making it themselves. So this is the alternative we are stuck with.

So all I ask is, don't attack others or be snobby about what you believe in. Acknowledge a valid point when it is made, agree when to disagree, and vote based on what you believe in. Don't let people talk you out of that unless you truly believe in what they are arguing. Don't give up your individuality.

But don't take it from anyone either.
Tags: politics, democrat, republican, election, beliefs, people, opinion, rant
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Triple Threat
09/24/08 at 02:45 AM by cassusriff
Man, here it is. The triple threat.

So obviously, you are on my blog right now.

My Youtube Channel is here, where I also do Vlogs and Reviews and such. I'm doing the second part of my Fall Television Preview tomorrow. Stay tuned for that.

And here is RyanFTW's blog, where he has his most recent Podcast up. It's awesome and though I am not on it, I contributed a discussion question as well as a song. Check it out! I guess he calls me "C-Dawg", and I am DOWN with that.
___________________________________ ___________________________________ _________________

So besides this cool little media domination I'm working on, life has been intensely interesting lately. I've met someone amazing. Because of this, I have eaten my previous words and become what I hate. Gotta love Midtown, they had it right about me many years ago. I don't really care though, I guess that goes with the territory of meeting someone amazing. I honestly thought that these kinds of connections didn't exist anymore. It sure is nice to be proven wrong on that front.

Financially and Educationally, things aren't going as well. I'm overdrawn by nearly $200 right now and I don't get paid till Thursday. I have enough gas to last me and I've continued eating homemade food and being extremely conservative with my spending (which has also been healthier!), but things are difficult. As soon as I get paid I'm going to throw all that money at rent and the new utilities. I don't even have available credit card balance to bail me out through this rough time. It really sucks. I have an aggressive plan to get myself out of debt by early next year, but it just means I'm going to have another rough month and don't have much money for fun spending.

As for school? I'm taking hard classes and I can't afford the books. The homework in both classes isn't turned in, but the tests are hard and I have nothing to study from. I'm going to check the library or maybe ask a student if I can borrow a book so I can make copies of all the HW pages so I can at least practice... but it's very difficult.

Work, however, is going really well. I just don't get paid fast enough. I'm also very eager to get out of training and onto the floor. I know I can kick ass at this job and get promoted and make more money, which I really need right now. Suddenly the future matters a bit more.

Despite the difficulties I'm going through, I have amazing friends, I'm really getting along with my family, I met an amazing girl, I'm staying in shape, I feel great and I'm smiling almost all the time. You can't ask for anything more than that. So I am grateful despite my troubles. I'm heading to LA this weekend to see the UCLA game and go to the Cab concert. Oh, and me and my best friends are going to PARTY. So that will be really nice.

Stay tuned for my next few videos: Anberlin Album Review, TV Fall Preview Part 2, and Rant on the "New Political Party".

With Love,
Tags: blog, vlog, podcast, RyanFTW, Midtown, Personal, Life, Finance, Education
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Under The Same Sky
09/24/08 at 12:41 AM by cassusriff
I wrote these lyrics about someone special. My friend Jason is currently working on some music to it, so I'll post the song once we get it all finished! Enjoy!

Under the Same Sky

Oh you poor girls
You make me regret
The things you do to yourselves
I've hung around
With my lack of self
And I've taken your hits
But the shield is up now

You see, She came and saved me
She was the one who saw me clearly

And coast to coast
The sun is rising
Over here it's still the night
But she said,
Though we're worlds apart
We're still under the same sky

The parallels
The symmetry
It's uncanny
We're intertwined
We extend our vines
So imagine that we lie
Here tonight

You see, She came and saved me
She was the one who saw me clearly

And coast to coast
The sun is rising
Over here it's still the night
But she said,
Though we're worlds apart
We're still under the same sky
Tags: song, lyrics, relationships, love, girls, poetry, music, personal
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Fall 2008 Television Preview: Part 1
09/22/08 at 03:39 AM by cassusriff

Hey Everyone! I promised I'd get this done and I realized it would be easier if I did it in many parts. A bunch of shows start this week, so I'm going to preview those first. Then, later on will be all the shows that start a bit later (I'm looking at you Pushing Daisies) and my reactions to some of the new shows (Fringe, Life on Mars, 90210, etc). Finally, Midseason Replacements and other late start shows (Scrubs, Friday Night Lights).

So for Part 1, I'm going to preview Heroes and How I Met Your Mother. In Part 2, which I'll release before Thursday, I'll preview The Office, Grey's Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters, and the Simpsons. By Sunday I'll preview more shows and give reaction to some of the new shows coming out.


Heroes returns after an entire year off-air due to the writers strike. You may have forgotten what happened at the end of Season 2, so let me refresh you.

Peter Petrelli lost his memory, Adam Monroe used this to his advantage to try to get Peter to help him break into the Primatech company in Odessa, Texas that contained the deadly Shanti virus. The other characters, suddenly separated after coming together to stop the first threat in New York, begin going on different paths to try to stop this virus from being released. Matt Parkman and Nathan Petrelli work together to stop Adam and Peter. Peter starts to fight back but is brought up to speed by his brother just as Hiro Nakumura appears and takes Adam away. Upon doing this, Adam drops the virus, but Peter stops it from breaking right before it hits the ground.

Meanwhile, Niki and Micah try to save Monica from a burning building and succeed. But the building explodes while Niki is still inside. Also, Silar has Mohinder, Molly, and Maya hostage as he demands Claire's blood so he can regain his powers. Speaking of Claire, she is on the brink of revealing the company's secrets and even dumps West over it, but is stopped by Noah, who says that he has struck a deal with the company.

In the final scene, Nathan, Peter, and Matt hold a press conference in an attempt to devulge their secrets. But just as Nathan is about to reveal he can fly, he is shot by an unknown assassin. We then learn that his mother had something to do with it. Also, Sylar escapes with Clarie's blood after Elle comes in and kicks some ass, but once Sylar injects the blood he is shown regaining his powers.

Villains will be an interesting, darker chapter for this show that is trying to recover after a sub-par and truncated second season.

How I Met Your Mother:

Season Three of How I Met Your Mother was mainly Ted and Robin getting over their breakup while Marshall and Lily adjusted to married life. Barney stayed the same for the most part, still going out on the town and conquering woman on a nightly basis. Ted finally met Stella, whom he fell in love with. Right after Ted breaks up with Stella because of his fear of committment, he gets in a car accident and rethinks his decision. Barney, whom Ted isn't speaking to, hears of Ted's accident and runs to the hospital only to get hit by a bus on the way there. After seeing Barney in awful condition, Ted makes amends with his 'bro' and goes to win Stella back. Barney looks at Robin in a different way from his hospital bed and Ted shockingly proposes to Stella.

Season 4 will be interesting. Are we finally going to meet the mother? What will Stella say? Is Barney really going to love a girl?

And that's it for now. I'll be back soon with more fall television previews!
Tags: tv, television, video, preview, heroes, how I met your mother, nbc, cbs
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A couple of things...
09/19/08 at 05:52 PM by cassusriff
First, I fixed all my broken links from the past few blogs. My Max Bemis song is linked up again in my signature so you can download that. A few posts back I posted links to a Justin Nozuka song and a Ryan Gillmor song, so those are fixed as well.

Second and most importantly, me and AP.net user RyanFTW are going to start collaborating our blogs in different ways. I see both our blogs as very engaging and our potential is limitless. We both write in these blogs often and recently he has started doing podcasts. In addition, I've started making videos and plan to continue doing so. So you'll start hearing me do some stuff in his podcasts and he'll eventually make his way into some of my videos. So I suggest that anyone who reads my blog start visiting his blog regularly as well.

Our first collaboration is coming this Sunday when he records his next podcast. I'll be asking a question about the state of pop-punk and ask him for his "pop-punk savior" bands. I'll reveal my list as well and break down this year's pop-punk releases into 4 tiers:

Tier 1: Pop-Punk Savior Bands
Tier 2: Slighty Original, Mostly Catchy
Tier 3: Boy Band Status
Tier 4: Pussification Purgatory (Kudos to Jason Tate for the title)

Also coming on Sunday will be my Fall TV preview. Expect previews for the following shows:

-Pushing Daisies
-The Office
-Friday Night Lights
-How I Met Your Mother
-and more!

I'll also preview a few of the new shows coming this fall, including:

-Knight Rider
-Life on Mars
-My Own Worst Enemy

Subscribe to my youtube channel
Tags: blogs, collaboration, ryanftw, pop punk, television, tv, music, video, podcast
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New Blog/Vlog!
09/19/08 at 02:56 AM by cassusriff
Alright, so I've decided that I'm going to get serious about this whole blogging thing and create a blog hybrid. I'm going to continue writing out all my thoughts, recommendations, reviews, and such. But now I'm going to make videos to go along with all of this. I'm really excited about this and I hope the people who do watch (as few as they may be) will enjoy the different mediums I employ.

Here is my video of what I plan to do on my youtube channel.

This will be my main blog for the time being. I may start up a blogspot, but I enjoy writing here and it keeps the traffic coming to this site. Basically I'll post my videos in my blogs here and also post my blog link in my videos. It's cross-promotion and it's awesome!

I'll have some good videos/blogs up soon! Cheers!
Tags: blogs, vlogs, videos, music, movies, changes, excitement
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Think (Video)
09/18/08 at 03:32 AM by cassusriff
If you don't like reading my long rants, you can watch me do it on a video. Some people find this way more engaging... so I'm going to try to make videos occasionally to supplement the things I write and keep everything interesting.

I have a lot of music and movies and tv shows to talk about, especially with the new fall season coming, I'm just having a crazy week. I'll try to get on all of this and get it out by this weekend.
Tags: personal, video, plans, preview, life, rant
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09/17/08 at 02:14 AM by cassusriff
Think with me for a few minutes.

Think about your life. Your world. Your existence. Think about what it means. What is important to you. What matters to you. Think about all these things for just a little bit.

Now try something different and think about something else. Think about what's going on in the world and what you can do. I know it's daunting and I know it doesn't seem like there is much you can do. I always like to say that, "If the world is an orchestra, I am but one small instrument." But one small instrument can provide another harmony, another swelling chord, another overtone. One small instrument can sabotage the orchestra. One small instrument can lead the orchestra into a powerful chorus. And combined, many small instruments are what make the orchestra as big and great as it is.

So lets end that metaphor and get back to the point. You mean something. There is more to life than trudging along at the speed of traffic. More to life than what you own. More to life than all your success and popularity.

I think about the great moments of my life. And while images of my curtain calls on stage or my awards or my big moments in front of large groups of people stand out, what rises above are the simple things. The time I told a group of random strangers to pull their car up to the gas pump so I could give them a few gallons to get home because they were broke. Or the time I gave a $1000 scholarship just because I wanted to and helped a high school senior pay for college a little easier, or this heart walk I'm about to do, which I have raised over $200 for that will go to the American Heart Association. I think about the countless friends I've helped find jobs, or helped get through tough times, or took out for a fun time when things weren't going well for them. I think about my family and how we always come back together in the end. I think about the love I've had and not the love I've lost.

I think about these things. And that is where I find meaning. And I'm not trying to come off holier-than-thou here or try to make myself out to be a saint, because I certainly haven't been among the best people in the world.

What I am trying to say is that life matters beyond my nice apartment and my nice TV and my nice phone and computer and iPod and everything else.

I'm just your typical American, I live paycheck to paycheck, I stress over a full time job and I go to college and spend money I don't have so I can eventually get a degree and earn more money so that I can buy a house with money I don't have right after I finish paying off my college loans. I find time for fun when I can. I find happiness in small gestures and small moments and I get by with that. I stress and worry and hope and dream like anyone else. But what I am saying is to think about how lucky we are that we can even do these things. Think about where you are in your life and before you sell yourself short or lament your situation, think about people elsewhere in your city, state, country, or the world that don't have the luxury to even consider dropping an unfavorable situation for another. Think about that... and then tell me you aren't happy with at least one aspect of your life.

Now think about how you can be a small, but effective instrument, because this orchestra isn't going to conduct itself unless we all decide to play together.
Tags: poetry, video, musings, thoughts, personal, life, opportunity
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Move In, Move Out
09/15/08 at 01:56 AM by cassusriff
Wasn't I supposed to rest on weekends?

Damn, changing roommates shouldn't be this much work. My brother is moving in though, so his lack of any furniture falls on me and my mom to provide. She did most of the work and I give her a lot of credit, but I went through my usual OCD of having to clean whenever a lot of stuff is moved around. So I spent all day vacuuming, cleaning, dusting, moving furniture, and putting stuff together. Though I did take a nice break in between to watch the 49ers win a thrilling game in OT while eating pizza with my now former roommate and my other friend. There is nothing better than a sunday eating pizza with friends watching football, nothing.

Hanging pictures is a son of a bitch, there is so much intricacy that goes into it. My living room looks sweet now though. I really want to thank my old roommate, he left his sound system here because he has no room for it and said I could borrow it until he has a use for it. This makes me very happy. Though I do need to find out why the sub isn't working.

A few more kinks to work out with the apartment: Have to reorganize my room, make sure the cable gets set up correctly, make sure the gas and electric continue just fine, and the aforementioned fixing of the sub on the sound system. Besides that, the place is looking nice. I'm glad to call this apartment home for the next year.

Alright, on board for this week:

-First week of training at work. I've been doing the easy stuff so far, but now I have to actually learn the job. This could be moderately fun or extremely boring. Former please!

-Accounting and Calculus continued. Another week or these classes that will only get harder.

-Heart Walk on Saturday. The Heart Walk is pretty exciting for me. I ran a 5k last week in 30 mins, so I'm pretty sure walking it in 3 hours won't be a problem. I'm excited I've raised almost $200 already.

-Hanging out with Eric and maybe some other friends. We will see how my time works out with all of that.

I'll post some recs tomorrow, right now is sleepy time.

Donate to the American Heart Association for my Heart Walk
Tags: moving, roommates, family, friends, weekend, football, work, school, charity
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Music I Need
09/11/08 at 01:23 AM by cassusriff
So I blogged a bit ago about how there is too much music that I want, well I'm going to prove it to you. I buy all of my music, so I'm making this list so that I can hopefully find enough money to get these albums this year. These are albums I want that have already come out or will be coming out soon. If you have any recommendations to add to the list, I'm more than open to hearing them! Here is the list of albums first in no particular order:

The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
The Living End - White Noise
Person L - Initial
Anthony Green - Avalon
The Honorary Title - Scream and Light Up the Sky
Underoath - Lost in the Sound of Separation
Gym Class Heroes - The Quilt
Jonzetta - Cruel to Be Young
Portugal. The Man - Censored Colors
Punchline - Just Say Yes
Straylight Run - Un Mas Dos
House of Heroes - The End is Not The End
The Morning Light - S/T
Anberlin - New Surrender
Bayside - Shudder
Jacks Mannequin - The Glass Passenger (Pre-ordered)
Joshua Radin - Simple Times
Copeland - You Are My Sunshine
Astronautalis - Pomegranate
Tiger Lou - Partial Print
Quietdrive - Deliverance
Ra Ra Riot - The Rhumb Line
Now a few bands that I just want to check out at some point:

Jet Lag Gemini
Runner Runner
Almost Gold
Set Your Goals
My Favorite Highway
Stages and Stereos

Like I said, any bands you guys think I would like, please comment or let me know some other way. I'm open to many types of music, but you can guess what I generally like by the bands listed above.

Donate to the American Heart Association for my Heart Walk.

And vote for my stories "Get Lucky" and "I just play with them!" EVERY DAY so I can win this contest and win $1000!
Tags: music, recs, recommendations, list, albums, need to buy, 2008, releases
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09/11/08 at 01:13 AM by cassusriff
Man, I love Drumstick ice cream cones. Totally delicious. I took a break from working out tonight so I could do some good old fashioned web-surfin'. I read a TON of news and visit a TON of sites on a daily basis. Here are some links I think you will enjoy that I visit pretty regularly:

I go here for my music news of course. I browse my 49ers blogs, other sports and fantasy news, tech and video game news, politics and general news, movie info, and many others. I also visit the typical social networking sites, this one being my most frequented. This video site is amazing. I watched the entire series of Arrested Development and the second season of Friday Night Lights on it. Youtube is great and all for videos from the average person, but for good quality movies and TV Shows for free, you can't go wrong with hulu. I buy all of my music from this site, as well as my books for school, posters, other technology, supplies, etc. If you want to get your life organized, one more site I'd recommend is this one. Go here for lyrics, and here for tabs. Those are all my favorite links so I hope you can make use of them. I'll take recommendations from anyone else if they have any.

A few more links you should check out because you love me are:

Donate to the American Heart Association for my Heart Walk

And vote for my stories "Get Lucky" and "I just play with them!" EVERY DAY so I can win this contest and win $1000!

Tags: links, music, news, politics, video, sports, tech, lyrics, tabs, movie, tv, shopping
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Music = Money
09/10/08 at 12:44 AM by cassusriff
Not for the artists of course, I'm talking about how buying music takes money from my pocket... and those pockets are empty for another month most likely. I'm spending less than $100 a week on incidentals (gas, food, etc) and I'm still barely scraping by. My bank account has been living in the red. I get paid tomorrow, but that will just be enough to cover bills for next week, then the next pay period will be just enough to cover my rent and my trip to LA to see the UCLA game.

And that weekend will be my last hurrah until late November when my 8-week, Fri-Sun Statistics class ends. That's right, I'm going to have a class on Friday nights and Sunday mornings. At least that will prevent me from going out and spending money... because I know that on the weekends when I'm not in class I'll just want to stay at home and chill out, which is the cheapest way to spend the weekend.

But that's not the point. I've been spinning my MVP mix for two weeks now. I keep reading these awesome reviews and hearing about all these good albums and I can't afford them! I'm not a downloader usually and I don't plan to be now. But I need new music! Damn, this sucks. I feel helpless. Someone donate money so I can buy new music.

Nah, I wouldn't ask you to donate just so I can buy new music, but I will ask you to donate to the American Heart Association for my upcoming Heart Walk! (nice seagueway huh?)


Donate please. Anything helps!

Also, go here and vote for my the stories I wrote! They are called "Get Lucky" and "I just play with them!"


If I get enough votes, I win an scholarship! So please, help me! I'm poor!

That is all.
Tags: money, music, donations, heart, scholarship, charity, life, personal
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