I haven't listened to this album in a very long time. I revisited it on the way home today and it utterly freaked my out how much it relates to my life as of late.
Dashboard has always been one of probably three bands whose lyrics I can relate to. This however, is strange how well it fits right now.
But, I believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say
But, youíre chasiní the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Itís getting away from you again
While youíre chasiní ghosts
- "The Ghost of a Good Thing?
(it's a long way) is there anything
(for an answer) worth looking for
(is there any news) worth loving for
(is there any word) worth lying for
(is there trauma) is there anything
(or a struggle) worth waiting for
(am i missing) worth living for
(was the body found) worth dying for - "Am I Missing"
Man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has
Lord it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all
Oh look, now, there you go with hope again
Oh, you're so sure I'll be leaving in the end
- "Carve your heart our yourself"
And go on, go on, your cruel intentions
Won't solve your problems,
everyoneís gotta get bottom
bottomed out in the long run
and those are the times you need love.
- "Hey Girl"
What you've found sure upsets you
Never saw it coming did you?
Its easy to be surprised with both your eyes sewn closed
Handled with great precision, another thoughtless execution
You're the subject of this exhibition
A willing cadaver, a willing cadaver.
Made whole again.
- "If you can't leave it be, might as well make it be"
Tonight, they're burning the roads they built to lead us to the light.
And blinding our hearts with their shining lies,
while closing our caskets cold and tight. But I'm dying to live.
- "Several Ways to Die Trying"
"ideas keep me up all night.
i miss who i was too?
except for the whole wanting to be dead thing...
oh i guess and the cheating and the lies.
but the rest i was ok with.
some of the time.
consciences are always heavier than egos.
i mean trust me i know.
doubled standards are tripled and quadrupled.
everything inflates with time.
on keyboards i put it all into reverse.
suddenly it all makes sense."
We are so hung up on the old us that we don't even realize that this is our chance to be even better than we were before.
I don't know what I want out of life, except maybe to be someone of substance and stature. I probably can't save you but I at least want to save myself.
....where we dance in a dream to the songs that we love.
Those songs have play for the lonely souls who where singing along
when it wasnít enough just to hope,
and to pray that their bodyís somehow find the strength.
And they all carry on. They want nothing but to be better off,
and Iíve hurt and I've aged,
but I found it in my heart to believe.
Iíve been waiting for good news since you left.
A little piece of my heart's been pounding out of my chest.
Weíre waiting for good news, arenít we now?
It's interesting that this is their choice for their next single when the first time they ever sang it live was at a benefit for a friend that I lost.
People are still hurting very deeply over this and I'm not sure that any one has the right words to make it all better, but this song does a good job.
No matter what type of loss we experience, we will eventually carry on. If anyone needs a reason to believe, let it be that fact that you're alive and you still get a chance to make a real impact on something.
Sometimes it's not really about how the person died, but rather how the person lived that really counts.
I still don't understand why things happened the way they did, especially when I spent countless nights hanging out with him.
However, things did happen and now we all will live with it. People were hurt and life won't be the same.
It's a constant battle between feeling numb to life and realizing that it's really time to start living.
"...the world ainít all sunshine and rainbows...itís a very rough mean place. And no matter how tough you think you are itíll always bring you to your knees and keep you there. Permanently if you let it. You or nobody ainít never gonnaí hit as hard as life. But it ainít about how hard you hit, itís about how hard you can get hit and keep moviní forwardÖ"
Letís do this for each other
Letís do this for truth
I give for you, you give for me
Let me take you somewhere, I can not explain
Iím stumbling right in front of you now
I wonít refrain from guiding you there
Normal is not so far
Was it just a dream
Or something much more
We are not alone
Since you agreed to follow
Itís all in my head, if you want, you can look inside
Thereís nothing but red and all the mess Iíve been
Itís all in the way I say what I donít mean, and mean what I donít
I need to speak of you and what is real
They will never understand
What eats at our insides
So Kirbie, otherwise known to you guys as AP_PUNK, was one of the first people that I made friends with on this site. He really is one of the nicest kids around and always makes sure to check in to see how I'm doing.
I've been really really down on my luck lately. No matter what I do, I just can't seem to catch a real break at all. However, there are some people out there who do whatever they can to try and help me.
Recently, Kirbie was reading my blogs and messaged me saying that he wanted to send me something. I was totally surprised by the gesture.
Well, Kirbie, I finally received your gift and it has really really just touched me. I read the letter at least three times over. Thank you so much for doing this. I can't wait to blast this in my car.
Last Friday I was walking home from the train station after a pressing day at work.
My mind was racing with a ton of conflicting thoughts that were really bringing me down...I was just not in the mood to socialize or do anything for the rest of the night.
As I stepped onto my porch I noticed a package addressed to me.
I opened it, full of curiosity, as to who would send me anything.
Enclosed was a handwritten letter and three cds with my name on it.
To my surprise a guy a know reminded me of a conversation we had to be pen pals. He took the time to make three mixed cds about life and us and tell me exactly how he felt.
I was completely stunned.
The cds are amazing...full of songs we've talked about, some songs I know, and songs I've never hear before but now love.
I hope that someone does something like this for you one day. I think we all could use a nice gesture like this.
With that, here's the track listing to cd one. I might post the rest in the future, but some things should be kept a little private.
Taking Back Sunday- Your Own Disaster
The Starting Line- Island
Anthony Green- She Loves Me So
Brighten- We Are Birds
Cold War Kids- We Used To Vacation
Days Idea- Ideas
The Format- She Doesn't Get It
Counting Crows- A Long December
This Providence- My Beautiful Rescue
The Dear Hunter- Red Hands
Death Cab For Cutie- Transatlanticism
Brighten- What She Really Wants
So here I am, currently at my 100th entry with 100 AP "friends".
They always seem to be at a neck and neck race and now here they are--tied for once at such an important number for a person's lifetime.
With that being said, this blog was mainly supposed to be about how music plays a part in my life each and every day.
Somehow, my actual personal life has become intertwined in it. I really wanted to keep that part out because, after all, that's what my myspace blog is for. However, I usually am able to find a song to keep it somewhat on topic.
This website has become a strange presence in my life.
I have seen the best and worst of people on here. I've met some of the coolest, most legit people. I've tried to avoid the cruelest. I have even found my new job through contacts I made here. ( Thank you Josh Hay )
It took me awhile to get involved with most parts of this place. It started with my lurking the news for my radio show in college. Then I decided to jump into the forums, and eventually I got into the blog section. It wasn't until the first time I saw Gabe Saporta doin his thing Cobra style that I was inspired to write. Then I read something from here and was inspired to dig a little deeper below the surface. Also, a shoutout to Adrian Villagomez--he served as motivation for me to keep writing... I think it was all to impress him.
I'm not exactly sure who reads my blogs. I apparently have a decent amount of views. It shocks me because I've had a myspace blog for almost 5 years and I don't even have half as many views.
With that being said, I would like to thank you all for reading. I hope I've amused you in some way. I know you many of you have voiced your concerns or given me advice. I really, truly appreciate it.
I hope you keep coming back and find something of interest to you. I'm always looking for inspirational lyrics for any mood.
I'll leave you with my two favorite things on the internet today.