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06/26/12 at 10:11 PM by kyleiswalker
Revisiting the escape I once found,
just to find some peace.
You think something has changed,
but I'm still exactly like you found me.
If conversations are what you're after,
I'm afraid it's a little too late.

One day the masquerade will stop.
We'll no longer pretend to see
all the things we desire we were.
Our shining luster is dulled from wear.
Still we breathe.

Flip on the switch to a mundane day.
Emotions continue to dictate 'cause
feelings just get in the way.
How long do we willingly let
control get stripped from our grasp?
Make the day, Girl.
Walk down a different path.

Like Sisyphus compelled to come so far.
Never quenching conquest 'cause
his burdens recoil hard.
You think you see that something has changed?
Fear not. It hasn't. Eternity wasn't created...
in a dopamine crazed haze
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11/21/11 at 02:58 PM by kyleiswalker
Simplicities slip...into our dreams. Where a world that won't welcome them waits. I know the time is coming, when I will be unable not to ask if you would renew the fire, that I had given up on as passed? When did learning to breathe steady paced around you become so opaque? Ah these addicting and youthful schemes we make to stay together through the scenes.Yet at night when I close my eyes I think and still find it bittersweet, that your presence was catalyzing this rapture a me. I'm puzzled now. All over you it would seem. Cause I'm asking myself how, just being around you makes me weak at my knees? It's natural to be me... when I'm around you. Simple has left but it turns out complexities aren't as bad as they seem...
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Leave Behind
11/02/11 at 10:15 AM by kyleiswalker
I look into your eyes,
and I see the beauty of your life.
The only way I make it through this,
is if I take you with me.

So I'm not going to leave you behind.
I'll wait on you forever with anticipation.
Don't lead me on.
Let the embrace of the stars kiss you.

Let's leave it all behind.
We can just hit the road,
and try to keep the sun shining.
Lose the battle but grow from our wounds.

I can see in your eyes,
that you're not willing to let go.
So I'll wait here forever,
I'm not leaving you behind.

It can be a dream.
One we act out in life.
This chance is a one-way ticket.
The only consequence is a willingness to fight.
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work in progress not finished
09/14/11 at 09:00 PM by kyleiswalker
Why does it seem
life brings it's worst,
when you're praying
for the best?
The yearn for the
past on;y makes you miss...

What it felt like,
when those arms embraced you.
How you'd get lost
in the gaze that entranced you.

Must heartache always come,
when you risk to be vunerable
You'll wear your heart
on your sleve so that
you don't have to believe...

What it felt like,
when those arms held you tight.
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08/17/11 at 08:27 AM by kyleiswalker
A girl with a lot to learn,
She owned her world at 17.
Rushing toward the excitement of the moment,
She had no regrets.
She only had the trills.

At 17
She could catch the cool.
Entrap some fool.
Use and abuse, consider the conflict,
forget the risk of something right.

Where do you go?
Tripping over your next idea,
as desire strips it away.
Right now it seems easy.
Only 17 quietly begging to be set free.

No need to fly when
you weren't made to soar.
Chase the sunrise one week.
Then fall at the moment you find.
You turn your back at 17.

The real world isn't what it seems,
but you'll ride this wreck till,
it's direction isn't extreme.
You will be ruined before you are 21.
You're best days are behind.
Please girl, don't be surprised
when your acceptance unwinds.
When faithfulness dies.
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i guess it's ok.
07/28/11 at 02:14 PM by kyleiswalker
A singer, a writer, he's not dreaming now of going nowhere. He gave heed to nothing, and all that he was.... Is just a tragedy
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My nights.
07/18/11 at 05:15 AM by kyleiswalker
I keep having this nightmare, and paralysis. It scares me. I want it to end.
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07/13/11 at 02:23 AM by kyleiswalker
Questions keep me awake at night. They are impossible to answer and I can't expect them to go away...
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It worked!
07/11/11 at 04:23 AM by kyleiswalker
I tested a theory and was pleased with the results. Lately I've been internally debating internally a question of value. To put it in mathematical frame, if A B C all agreed that they should remain as one it would look like this ABC, never A BC or A B C or even aBcc. Well remaining ABC was harder than anticipated. Their binding began to loosen its grip and B was sucked out from an outside force. The question remaining is if AC notice B has been taken out of the equation and they change their goals. AC still have the same goal to remain AC but B has changed. B now has different motives. So what was the results? AC never notice B missing. They had a sole mission of providing and equal yet opposite force to the outside force. If that could be done with one less character... then so be it. B was left seeking a way to be attached, to feel bound again. Yet nothing gave him that feeling. save one remaining character... Z. Z claimed to be more valuable than anything. So as you size up chances and know the results could only equal Z>anything. Instead of doing the work to verify your answer you bank on your choice. B however never closes the distance from AC to B so B gives up and drifts away. Forever! I am B and AC are drifting away.
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07/05/11 at 07:53 AM by kyleiswalker
So this may sound a tad pessimistic, but I can't find the silver lining anymore. I spent so much time moping over things people had done to me. I got so complacent with being used. My friends and family only called my name when it was useful to them. I find myself now at a breaking point. I have nobody to talk to about the way I feel anymore. I don't want to be so bold as to say no one cares... however I can't feel their compassion or interest if they are showing any. So many big decisions are at my doorstep and I will be making them alone. My future, or whats left of it, now lies in the pendulum of a broken life. Tomorrow is uncertain and today is covered in shadow. My life is actually dying, its becoming void of reason to hold onto. Mundane and insignificant describe my every breath while I am walking through this God forsaken path...
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07/02/11 at 05:03 PM by kyleiswalker
It's finally came to this.
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Scarlet A
06/21/11 at 11:27 AM by kyleiswalker
Things go wrong,
when your heart grows hard.
I wonder if you ever
think about me.
Forever is infinite in love,
but lonely in your sleep.

What do you do,
when she is wrapped
around your heart?
Do you fight for it back,
or find solace in the dark?

I can still smell
your fragrance in my room.
Reminding me of
the brief times you were true.
Itís a sweet perfume,
but it leaves a bitter
taste in my mouth.

Where do you go,
when sheís all you know?
You canít move forward,
with the noose as your swoon.
They say if you love something,
sometimes you let it go.
The voided promise of return,
only intensifies the sorrow.

Hesitation to breath,
reading the letters she wrote.
Scarlet A or not,
doesnít lack the love
we can provoke.
You listen to her voice,
spoken softly in your ear.
Woken up from this dream,
the nostalgia becomes so real.

So kiss me again.
Let my taste linger.
May the joy I brought
be the thing you remember.
Hold me close,
before my embrace loosens.
Then Iíll watch as you slip away.
Take the affection I gave,
let it comfort your pain.
One day youíll be broken,
wondering what your
choice left for you to gain.

Iím gone now, bidding my farewell sigh.
Doing what I must,
to let my feelings for you
finally escape my mind.
Learn who you are,
and what part of your
mind that you'll let to decide.
Cause heartache is coming,
and this time it wonít be to mine.
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06/15/11 at 07:53 PM by kyleiswalker
I keep it hidden so well.
Right under your nose,
but still you can't smell.
Like a shade of light
that can't be seen.
I craft my sorrow
and keep it in the spaces between,
the shadowed roads
we've walked for death to still
be crowned the king.

Farewell. I'm giving up.
The desire to fight is gone.
Take away my life.
Sacrificed by disease.
Weak from the battle,
and worn from the walk.
Shake me down.
I'll let you take me down.

I thought it was worth it.
Convinced myself to fight.
Slept with the serpent,
pleasured by it's bite.
Shed this skin I'm under.
Let death be the victor,
to the wrongs I cannot right.

Farewell. I'm giving up.
The desire to fight is gone.
Take away my life.
Sacrificed by disease.
Weak from the battle,
and worn from the walk.
Shake me down.
I'll let you take me down.

Shed this skin I'm under.
It's worn and tough,
so bring the sharpest knife.
Death will own the glory
when it finally claims my life.
I'm giving up this fight.
I'm giving up this fight.
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06/15/11 at 12:45 PM by kyleiswalker
I stand here looking at you,
with questions raging through my mind.
Your glare pierces my heart.
Faith what did you do?

I trusted you as I fell back in your arms.
It was easier for you to let go.
Prudence was strong from the start.
Faith what did you do?

Faded and worn, my trust slipped away.
We could of had it all.
Can't you see that we're lonely apart?
Faith what did you do?

I screamed for these chains to break.
Yearned to finally be set free.
But breaking souls is your form of art.
Faith what did you do?

My head tells me its over,
but my heart is still yours.
I've never wanted something
they way I want you.
So I'm broken here waiting.
Oh Faith what will you do?
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06/12/11 at 06:05 PM by kyleiswalker
I have had one of the worst weeks in my life. Everything I saw as solid in my life vaporized and dissipated. I went back to the sole of my pain in an attempt to conquer but left still defeated. I spent days being treated for a condition and realized, now I can't pretend anymore that I'm happy. I abuse my own weaknesses just to have the feeling of authority course through my veins. I see the scars but they never serve their purpose to remind me of the wound that caused it. I take the risk of giving my mind a reminder. The cuts only serves their role for a short time. So I am in a constant state of physical and emotional hunger, of which my solution is to disregard. The force with which I will attack my own persona and well being is the only thing that still surprises me. I think I know what I'm capable of, only to be left in shock by my resolve to cope with pain in my own unique way...
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Last Updated: 06/26/12 (4,271 Views)
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