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(Sometimes) Witty Banter
01/08/09 at 03:58 PM by Schreiforme417
We've reached Cowee. We are alive, though almost weren't. There has already been one ethical dilemma, there may be more. Who knows. I will update soon. Phone and internet service are weak out here, but the cottage we're living in is fucking amazing.

research rocks.
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Headin Up the Mtn.
01/07/09 at 07:57 AM by Schreiforme417
So today I'm heading back up into the mountains for another two weeks of research. I'm going up with one other person and we will be living in one of our people out there's guest house. It was supposed to be two other people but I just got a phone call from the other guys saying she's not. Nice of her to tell us. Anyway.

So I'm heading up the mountain, internet is spotty but if we head into town, which we will occasionally, I'll be on and update. other than that, talk to y'all in a couple weeks.
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I'm no superman
01/06/09 at 08:55 AM by Schreiforme417
FUCK. YEAH. Scrubs returns tonight.

this is a joyous occasion.

though zach braff with a beard/some semblance of facial fair...not sure how i feel about that yet..
Tags: scrubs, zach braff
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Lost Home, Reward
01/06/09 at 08:13 AM by Schreiforme417
As I'm sitting here back in my apartment that I've lived in for the past three years now at Elon I got to thinking about the next few months.

Well, for the next two weeks I won't be here (mountains). Then I'll be back for 3 months-ish, then I graduate and I'll be back in Jersey for another three months and then what--Thailand?California?New York? Indiana? Any of those choices places me outside of the two places that I used to define as home, but I don't know if I can anymore. Everything in this next year feels very temporary--spacially at least, I'm not talking about people. I've met some awesome people lately that I plan on keeping around, and I've also begun cutting some ties so yeah.

I know its just growing up and everything but i'm not such a fan of this no real place that's home thing. Maybe I don't really wanna grow up yet
Tags: Growing Up, Life, Homeless
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Wow, dude, wow.
01/05/09 at 12:39 PM by Schreiforme417
So, back at Elon. I have other stuff to write about but before I forget, I found this both weird and hilarious. Driving back from the animal shelter today with Sierra, we saw on the other side of the road a woman. This woman was in a wheelchair. She was pedaling her wheelchair backward with one leg on the road.

the only words I could come up with were 'what the fuck'

it was an odd scene, that's more sure. damn if i only had a little more story
Tags: wheelchair woman
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My 5th Grade Teacher Was A Stripper
01/03/09 at 02:36 PM by Schreiforme417
Sierra did not believe me. We were talking about hot teachers and I mentioned I have only ever had two-- my hs freshman year english teacher and my 5th grade teacher. she was a stripped. Nay, Sierra shouted (if we were in person, and in medieval times), it is just your imagination. Lies, I responded. Here is my proof. Granted, it is an essay I wrote about my experiences but still, work with me here people. This is the excerpt explaining this whole sitch....

I’m pretty sure my teacher was a stripper. It was the epitome of everything a young Catholic male could ask for. Long dark hair, skirts and Catholic school. I’m glad I had Ms. Sanders before puberty hit full force, or else things might’ve been a lot worse. Aside from being the most beautiful teacher I had ever had at Sacred Heart, I got the proof I needed one day when I, as well as three others, had to go to her car and get out the class rabbit’s supplies. In the backseat were assorted articles of clothing not meant to be worn in any classroom that was not being used by Playboy for a movie. Tossing them into a pile, Ms. Sanders covered the piled with a bag. She then handed three of us the supplies and a stack of cards to the fourth and told her to throw them out. Red with black ink, they showed a woman pole dancing. The words, from the brief look I got said “World’s Largest Bachelor Party.” That made my day. It made me wonder why she was hired. What happened to a background check? Was my school that desperate? Where in the Bible did it proclaim and condone that it was okay to take off clothing for money? I was pretty sure they stoned people for that.

Man, what I wouldn't do to see her again. Though, in reality she's probably much older and wrinkly by now. Sad. Oh well.
Tags: Teacher, Stripper, Grammar School
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Posting a sex ad on Craig's List
01/01/09 at 10:00 PM by Schreiforme417
Okay, so, I thought this would be funny.

I wanted to post an ad on Craig's List (CL) saying I had...things...to offer (something along the lines of 'older women in need of younger man to satisfy her needs' or 'young stud looking to please', you know, something to get the ladies all hot and bothered).

I wanted to do this because, in my free time, I peruse Craigslist--writing jobs when I'm feeling productive, free stuff when I think I need something odd or extraordinary, singles ads when I need a laugh.*

So, being bored, I began investigating. I could see it now. I'd get a few responses, post them up here, and reflect. It would be funny. But no, Craig's List spites me.

After signing up, I go to post. I am so close. I can taste the dirtiness. I can imagine my fingertips being coated in the slime that slinks around the website, seeping in from the internet to the keys and up around the whorls of my fingertips.

Okay. Time to post. I have a service to give. Adult Ads--$5 bucks.


Five bucks, what the fuck? I click on it, maybe I can get around the money. No. Phone authentication needed.

I click back, go to creative services. Phone authentication again.

Shit. This isn't working. This was supposed to be easy, I mean, it's freakin' CL. This is like the offspring of Jerry Springer, Maury and every third-rate pornography site that may or may not involve bestiality out there.

Jer-ry, Jer-ry, Mau-ry, Mau-ry, Ba-ah, Ba-ah.

This isn't fair.

So I am defeated. But I did learn something. A few things, even.

A) this is not my best written piece.
B) CL is not as trashy as people expect. I mean, sure, you can get beyond the authentication pretty easy, but us petty lazy folk or the ones who lurk in the shadows and want sex the easy way, well that phone thing is just too much.

Kudos, CL, you stop at least the laziest of us from posting pointless sex ads.

*I realize this is wrong. Very wrong. I realize laughing at people who are honestly trying to find love over the internet is wrong. We shouldn't laugh at people. But come on, when you post unflattering pictures of yourself, or you ask for:

a: Date: 2009-01-01, 1:51PM EST

hello ladies i am looking for a sexy lady to spend time with tonight.age isnt important but i do like big breasted women. i am looking for a white girl tonight.if you are interested send me an e-mail and a pic. thank you

Location: RALEIGH
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: 1,000.00


b: Date: 2008-12-27, 11:10PM EST

26yom looking for a beautiful lady to step on me over and over again. I want you to crush me under your sexy feet and then let me suck and kiss them. There are no strings attached and no sex, just abusing me with your feet and then having them pampered. Just let me know what donations you need

Location: Raleigh
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: Neg

...well, then you deserve to be laughed at in my opinion.
Tags: Craigslist, The Internet, Sex Ads
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Friends No Where Close To Forever
01/01/09 at 07:20 PM by Schreiforme417
So I know none of the people I'm talking about in this will read this. But anyway.

I'm home for two weeks every christmas. it doesn't change. I have winter term and it starts right after new year. Anyway. I get home and try and get people to hang out with me. And they forget on the day we're supposed to. Or they call/text day of with a reason they can't. Or, what is the worst, in the case of my best friend, he doesnt not call or text back once at all in the two weeks I've been home just to spend a couple hours getting lunch or something. Doesn't common courtesy dictate spending thirty seconds to send a text back? I thought it did. I guess I was wrong. I mean, i have other friends, newer people who are a helluva lot cooler then the people i've been hanging out with pre-this year (http://www.absolutepunk.net/member.php?u=140619,http://www.absolutepunk.net/member.php?u=568642, among others), but still, I mean I'm trying to hang out with these people I consider my friends.

Going away, I'm taken out of the mix and when I come back I am out of place. I am the movie Garden State. And it sucks. So much for being friends, and taking an hour to hang out with a kid who normally lives 9 hours away. So sorry to bother people about that. Huzzah, fuckers. Guess I'm realizing what growing up does to people and places and the idea of home.
Tags: friends?, life
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Sam Is Listening: 8th Installment, New Years Edition
01/01/09 at 04:05 PM by Schreiforme417
These are some party songs, more or less for the new year. I'm hoping this year will be a bit better. I mean, it's got to be right? Graduating from college, Thailand (maybe), etc.

1. Kevin Rudolf ft. Lil Wayne - Let It Rock
2. A Change of Pace - Weekend Warriors
3. Thursday - Jet Black New Year
4. All Time Low - This is How We Do
5. The Maine - Everything I Ask For
6. Fight Fair - Pop Rocks
7. Bon Jovi - Livin' On A Prayer
8. Family Force 5 - Love Addict/ Earthquake (couldn't decide)
9. Boys Like Girls - Five Minutes to Midnight
10. Cashcash - Party in Your Bedroom.
Tags: Music, playlist, Life
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Happy New Year
12/31/08 at 04:15 PM by Schreiforme417
Well everyone, it's been a year. There have been ups and downs and lefts and rights and backwards and every other imaginable thing. Deaths, Births, Breakups, Breakdowns, everything.

I hope everyone has a good new year's ever and i wish everyone the best for the coming year. let's make it awesome.

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12/31/08 at 11:46 AM by Schreiforme417
So I'm going to make a resolution this year. I am going to attempt to be better at getting back to people, with phone calls and e-mails at such and stop being such a spooked horse about it. So yeah, we'll see how this goes. I think I'll need some gingko boloba for concentration
Tags: resolution
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Sam Is Reading: Top 10 Books of 2008
12/30/08 at 10:30 AM by Schreiforme417
Okay, so I don't go out and buy books when they're new. Or slightly new. I find them in thrift stores and used books stores for a quarter or two. If it has a both covers in tact, even better.

Here are the top 10 books, according to me, that I read this past year. They may not have come out in 2008. Those books will be on the 2010 list, haha.

Mind this is ten books of the well over 100 I've read since january. I know its been over 100 because I read 50-60 something along between may and august.

10. David Sedaris - When You Are Engulfed in Flames
9. Jonathan Kellerman - Compulsion
8. Max Barry - Syrup
7. Tobias Wolff - The Night In Question
6. Brad Land - Goat
5. Jonathan Lethem - Men and Cartoons
4. Sloane Crosley - I Was Told There'd Be Cake
3. Steven Hall - The Raw Shark Texts
2. George Singleton - Half-Mammals of Dixie
1. Steve Almond - [Not That You Asked]

check these authors out, plus the billion other authors I could mention but won't ask me though, I like talking about it.
Tags: Books, Reading, Best of 2008
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Sam Is Listening: Top 8 Albums of '08
12/30/08 at 09:58 AM by Schreiforme417
Well, here is my top albums of 2008 list. I must remind y'all that I am really bad with dates, so i've probably forgotten a lot of albums that came out in, like, january.

8. Joshua Radin - Simple Times
7. Mitch Hedberg - Do You Believe In Gosh
6. Rise Against - Appeal To Reason
5. Sing It Loud - Come Around
4. The Maine - Can't Stop, Won't Stop
3. Forever The Sickest Kids - Underdog Alma Mater
2. Unwritten Law - Live and Lawless (gotta love the cover art, too)
1. Hit the Lights - Skip School, Start Fights

guess we know where my tastes lie, haha.

oh oh. and some runners up in no particular order ( read: I didn't feel like fighting it out in my own head who would take places 9 and 10, so I made it 8 in 08 so I didn't have to bother. All of these occupy slots 9 and 10)

You, Me and Everyone We Know - So Young, So Insane EP
Valencia - We All Need A Reason to Believe
Paramore - The Final Riot
Hey Monday - Hold On Tight
Innerpartysystem - Innerpartysystem
Capital Lights - This is an Outrage

Tags: Best Of 2008
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...but this is not so fucking awesome.
12/28/08 at 11:52 PM by Schreiforme417
Barrelhouse rejected my away message stalking essay. oh well. i'm pissed but i'm not. I mean, I expected it. But it would be nice that at if some point somethign was accepted by someone so i don't just keep going 'well shit, i suck at writing, guess i wasted my parents' money for the past four years.'

i hate myself sometimes.

Tags: fuck, shit, damnit
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well, this is fucking awesome.
12/28/08 at 02:37 PM by Schreiforme417
Dear Sam,

Congratulations! We have reviewed your application and we are delighted to inform you that you have been accepted into the TEFL International TESOL Certificate Course in Phuket, Thailand starting 03 August 2009.


so my backup plan is confirmed. How awesome is that?


Tags: Thailand, TEFL
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Last Updated: 09/30/10 (165,058 Views)
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