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XjoseoleXX's Blog
The Unknowable
12/09/12 at 07:43 PM by XjoseoleXX
“The unknowable”
What will you do at the end of it all?
Would you grab your gun and run or would you stay with the ones you love?
A choice must be made.
Go out in the fiery fray or hide to live another day.
Gabriel’s Horns will come calling one by one until his work is done.
I don’t fear the end; I fear what comes after.
The unknown and the unknowable.
How will we fall at the end of it all?
Will we hear the reckoning call?
And In that moment before your life flashes in your eyes
Ask yourself, is it my time?
And then it will end just as it began
Alone and full of fear
Into the unknown.

I'm not sure why but recently I have been thinking/writing about the end of the world. Maybe it has something to do with a lot of things ending in my life. My plans to move to NYC came to a crashing end, my relationship with my girlfriend of two years abruptly ended, and my college lifestyle has ended as I have graduated and am trying to live in the "real world". But endings just create new beginnings and new opportunity's , Soon I will be living in Boston, hopefully with a job, creating new relationships and meeting new people. I cant allow myself to get caught up with all the negatives, I need to keep positive and keep moving forward. It is the only way to move on from the past. Maybe this will motivate me to finish my short story which,consequently, is about the end of the world.
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Blog ideas
12/07/12 at 09:00 PM by XjoseoleXX
I'm not sure what I am going to write in this blog. I have always wanted to keep a blog but I have never known what to write about. Do I make it personal and bitch about how shitty it is to be a 20 something with no career? Do i use it to post lyrics of songs I like? or do I use it to be creative and post my own personal writing?

The answer? all three.

I am not sure how often I will write or even if I will keep up with it at all but this seems like a good place for an.....outlet? a place where i can post my rambling attempts at writing fiction or songs attempts. A place where i will most likely at some point bitch about life, and a place where maybe the reader will get a drunk and or high posting with my attempts at being a hip hop ghetto superstar. It may get serious, it may be jovial and fun. Hopefully it is a place i can start forming coherent thoughts and finish some short story's I have been working on. whatever the reason may be hopefully you will come for the story's and stay for the good times.
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Merchant ships
12/07/12 at 08:34 PM by XjoseoleXX
September 9, 2001. Gary and I were skating at a hospital on top of a huge hill overlooking a valley.

An ambulance came and took out a dead woman. Gary asked me why she wasn't moving or blinking. They hadn't closed her eyes yet. She must have died on the way. A car full of family and friends came in with the ambulance.

They were all crying and hugging each other. One woman screamed hysterically and grabbed at the woman's body asking her to wake up. I had to tell Gary that her soul went to Heaven.

I didn't believe a word of it, but I knew it'd be easier for him to understand.
Two days from now, at 9 AM, the planes will hit the World Trade Center killing over 3,000 people.

I will tell Gary that there is no God, and all of this is meaningless. But today, there is a God. And he has a plan for him.

He doesn't know it, but a year from now, our family will be torn apart and I will move far away and won't see or talk to him for five years.

And as we sit on the hood of our car, the sun goes down and he asks me what I want out of my life. I tell him I don't know.

On and on we run away from the things we are afraid.
On and on we run away from the things we are afraid.
On and on we run away from the things we are afraid.

I don't tell him about the dream I had the night before where I'm riding in a car full of strangers and singing to some song I've never heard and smoking a cigarette and we swerve off the road and hit a tree.

I go through the windshield and hit the edge of a fence, dislocating my jaw and flipping me into a wall where my neck is broken, and my skull is fractured.

I bleed to death in excruciating pain.

I will have this dream periodically until I meet all of the strangers, one by one introducing them all to one another until we are a close group of friends. I will set these events in motion, and I will die.

But today in the warm light of the sunset, I don't see it. I just see the sunset. I smile back and shake my head. I have absolutely no idea. I am afraid.
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Last Updated: 12/09/12 (1,205 Views)
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