Has anyone ever considered that the bible was written as a satire? I'm serious. Just two bored dudes sitting in a cave coming up with shit like "Yeah, and then write, like, if, uh...you eat dairy and meat as a part of the same meal, you'll burn forever in Hell!" and the other dude's like "Hahaha, what the fuck? That doesn't even make sense" and then the first dude is just like "Haha, yeah I know, but just put it in there anyways" and then the second dude is like "Fuck, haha, whatever. Sure. Might I ask where you got this idea from, though?" and then the first dude was like "If you must know, I was eating some beef and I accidentally got cheese on it, and HOLY SHIT it was amazing! I don't want anyone stealing my idea so maybe this will scare them away from trying it."
And that's the story of how the cheeseburger was invented.