I got my heart broken. This amazing girl walks into my life and pieces it back together. I get scared and let her go. I realize what I lost and try to win her back. She still loves me but is in a shitty situation because of another guy..
I know deep down she still loves me and I know her heart isn't completely in it with this guy, but I guess I just have to let go and see what happens. I hope she realizes what she lost like I did.
I'm scared as shit.
I don't want to get hurt again.
My mind works against me. It likes to think of every little thing that I don't like or wouldn't like in that person... but when I actually think about it there isn't anything that I don't love.
After the first time I didn't think there would be a second one. I love the feeling of loving to just wanting to be around them. I even love the slight depression I get when I have to leave her.
I don't know why I'm fighting it, but I am. I guess I've been conditioned to think that love, even though it
is great, can reduce boys to a shell of their former self.
I guess I'll see where this goes. Girls are the Devil, girls are perfect.
Other neews. I'm stoked for this weekend. WTK, The Maine (yes I enjoy their shitty pop music), and TFT.
Gonna drink a little, smoke a little (haven't smoked in months and want to relax) should be an awesome, fun show.
Can't wait to see TFT even though they only have a 4-5 song set... Shitty.
Welp I think I'm gonna try to blog more, I forgot how much I like spewing my thoughts on this site and you people. haha.
Surprisingly I have a new special somebody in my life...
It's weird to think about especially being single for almost two years. After only having one GF and nothing much else..(I don't like hooking up)
But so I've been seeing this girl *Stephanie* for about three weeks and about two days ago made it "official"
It's awesome having the feeling of missing someone again and wanting to be around them whenever you can. I always have hated Valentines Day, because of the commercialism and how always having something expected of you.. But this year it isn't so bad. She is happy just being together and I love that.
No school on Monday for Presidents day either, things are very nice right about now. But there is always the calm before the storm so I'm not getting my hopes up just yet..
I hope everyone is doing alright, and I feel like a slacker for lacking on my blog. Which for anyone who actually reads I wanna say thanks. I appreciate it and the comments.
Welp have a good'un.
There is also a lot more I'm forgetting so always be expecting another too come. haha
"and if I stop ever thinking of you I'd probably choke on the words I never said! I'd bury my heart and fall back in my bed, and what a site that'll be. YEAH!!!"
Liking girls who don't like me back. To sum it up, it sucks.
Me and my buddy where actually talking about this. Girls have all the power. We can like them but they will always get the final say. Girls are the lions and boys are just the prey. Bad example but seriously. Think about it.
I need to start working out again I feel so fat. I hate it.
I always wanna write so much in these blogs but I always think why bother. Just another self-esteem problem I have.
Only thing I'm stoked about is that I finally get to see There for Tomorrow. Hell yes.
I'm loving The Drop Out Years acoustic ep as well. On a lighter note.
"you're so good at making bad decisions, but even better at burning bridges.
Knowing everything that I know now I'd never put the fire out. I'd rather watch you choke on the flames till I knew that only ashes remain"
The new Finch songs are awesome.
EDIT: The new Finch EP is glorious. They have won their spot back into my heart. I've loved this band forever and they have rekindled that flame. Good old Finch mixed with some sweetness of SHTS. Everyone who is a Finch fan should pick this up or iTunes it. NUFF SAID BITCHES.
The Dark Knight was ridiculously amazing. Blew me away and exceeded all my expectations. Heath was fucking brilliant. I found myself waiting and wanting to see more of the Joker. Ridiculous how well he captured the character.
I'll update this later I'm kinda busy now.
As you can see I did some updating. But now some more.
So I'm way stoked about tomorrow. I have an interview with the hospital for a higher paying job and I would be working with all the new friends I have made over the past seven months. I'm crossing my fingers because I would really love to get this job. 11 bucks weekdays and 13 on the weekends.
In other news I have this giant crush on this girl who happens to work there. Sadly she has a bf. But what do I care. I haven't liked someone like this in as long as I can remember. The funny thing is she flirts with me like crazy!!! It's not just me. She is always touching me or trying to talk to me. My friends and I can tell she is diggin on me. I just hope something happens.
Other than that crazy shinnanigens everything else has been going great. Planned a guys night on Friday. Gonna get schwasted. Other than that everything is great.
Hope everyone else is well.
"I'm making my way through cities and towns, just trying to loose myself in skylines and forget. That I lost my mind when I couldn't hold her and now I feel all the weight on my shoulders.. You got me walking through the back door, back door. Hoping I'll find you sitting there."
So I just recently found out during my two year relationship with the girl I would have died for, done anything for. I come to find out she slept around.. Well, apparently that was the last straw because I got hurt and blah blah blah. Yeah I still have feelings, not that many or in abundance, but they are still what is left...
I get home ask my parents to schedule a STD test... Cause I come to find out that Bitch slept with nasty fucking guys. Not as bad as her current walking piece of shit, but pretty close.
Thinking my dad will be the understand one I tell him and what do I get... Fucking yelled at right away saying I'm being dumb and childish.. So I tell my dad FUCK YOU, Shut Up you jackass... Storm out and go on an hour and a half walk..
What I learned
1. Never need anyone.
A. They will Leave you
B. They will Hurt you
C. They will Let you down
Among other things. But those three things right there are what matter most...
I'm gonna start looking out for number 1 from now on.
On a brighter side A Change of Pace and Houston Calls will be playing a house party in a Frat house. So that should be fun..
They new HTL and The Maine cd's are bomb-diggity. Pick them up for sure.
Last, but not least I can't wait to cut all ties from this place.
Sorry for the length and stupidity. Hope everyone ones summer is going great.
"There was a new girl in town. She had it all figured out. I'll state something rash... She had the most amazing. SMILE! She made me change my ways.. I'm falling in love, but it's falling apart"
Soooo.. last night was a fucking wack crazy night. Compliments of my ex, to start out the story I'll give you the setting.
I'm sitting on my bed, looking at this very site and IMing my friend Pilar, while texting my friend Mikey. It's around 10:30 or so, so I get this text from my ex, and I don't have her number saved in my phone and haven't for the last seven months, but I remember it well.
She says "HI" so me with my heart jumping in my chest am curious and think she might be nice to me for once, so stupid me replys back with a "Hi?" (this is where I messed up)
So right after this she starts calling me off the hook, and I'm like wtf I just got setup. Because back in September her dumbass coke head of a BF came to my house and through a brick through my window and now wants to fight me for "talking to his gf" So I don't answer the calls get a few voicemails threatening me and shit, and then I finally answer and he starts going off about how he runs the town and get this says "I can fuck with his gf, but if I ever fuck with him or his family its another thing!??!" I'm like well you're an awesome bf. DOUCHE.
So he proceeds to tell me that he won't do anything to my house or me as long as I don't talk to her anymore so I say ok I could careless about the bitch, we hang up. I'm still talking to Pilar while this is going down, and all of the sudden she's IMing me that my ex is threatening her over text! So i'm like fuck this shit. So i'm still sitting on my bed IMing when I hear this car pull up and parks two houses down the street, and I'm like shit please don't let it be her (O and I forgot she was with Him (kyle) and some other guy. I'm guessing was his cousin or friend)
So i'm looking out my window and I see two heads rolling up through my rocks, so I run to my dads room grab his 12" knife from the closet and run down the hall yelling to my mom to call the cops.
I bust through the front door knife in hand, (they have a bat, and golf club) and I start yelling come on your fuckers come get some. They stop dead in their tracks and start running back towards the car stop turn around and proceed to taunt me. I have so much adrenaline that I'm pretty sure some one would have died if I had gotten a hold of one.
After this I just have to deal with the cops and such, but I'm getting so tired of this shit. I'm probably going to file a restraining order, I have to walk around with a Knife on me now. I didn't do anything to deserve this shit. Shes the one who broke up with me, and all I've been was nice and respectful.
I have so much evidence too, in the voicemail Kyle admits to breaking my window with the brick and threatens me several times, and I also have a voice mail and texts from the girl egging me on.
I hope this girl gets what she deserves. I used to love her with all my heart now I could careless. Especially the fact that shes doing this to herself by hanging out with the wrong people and just getting wasted everynight. She threw everything away, and claims to be so happy, well if you're so fucking happy why are you still fucking me over and trying to get back at me for nothing?