It's been a year.. a long year. A difficult, but good year. A lot has changed which is to be expected. But I tried to make a conscious effort to better myself for me and for others around me.
This time last year I was honestly a wreck and up to this point I can't lie I'd slowly been trying, climbing, doing anything to get out of this whole I had dug myself. I feel like I've emerged from one of the worst places I'd ever been in my life a better person. I'm no saint and don't claim to be. I know my faults and my failures, but I've accepted them and have been learning from them.
Figured out what I need to do to be better. To fix what was wrong. I set myself some goals and changed a lot of the things I knew that weren't me. Found a better me. I still have a ways to go, but you have to start somewhere.
Haven't had a soda since Jan 1st, lost 25 pounds since this time last year. Have been paying off all my bills and just getting my life in order. Got two raises and a promotion within the last year from working full time and my ass off. I can say I'm pretty proud of those accomplishments.
If I say I'm gonna do it, i'll do it. I've become more reliable for others and myself. I just feel like even tho losing my grandpa and someone who was really close to me this year helped me grow a lot. Even with my grandfather gone he's still helping me become me. Always pushing me to be better.
Positivity and love.
I'm still human. I feel hurt and feel happy. It hasn't been a whole year of great things and changes. I mean you gotta fall first before you can get back up. A lot of things I'd love to change and fix about this past year, but I'm still rolling. Planning on losing more weight and finishing out my new years resolution. Will be a cool thing to say I've done. Seems like not many people actually finish a New Years resolution.
In recent activity.
Just got back from Denver with my friends. Remind me to never go on a trip with Delila again... I'm surprised I didn't go insane.. in four days. All I can say is wow. Had a great time seeing Pierce, Sleeping and Tonight Alive, but damn. Too much stress. I ain't about that life anymore haha.
Also, recently I've gotten another tattoo. So I'm up to three haha. Chest, back and side. Came out perfect. Couldn't have asked for a better piece. Now I'm setting up my arm appt. this week. Gonna get a huge owl and clock half sleeve for my grandpa which also has some other meanings to it, but I wont get into those. I'm addicted even more than I was before. But this next arm piece is going to be awesome. I can't wait. I'll have to post a picture when it's done.
I haven't updated as much as I usually do and I know I'm forgetting and missing a lot of stuff I wanted to say.
But the jist was that I'm glad I've grown. Even if it is a little at a time. It means a lot when people recognize my progress. I've learned people need to speak more, feel more, show more love. Ever since I have been everything's a little bit better.
I'm sure I'll come back and edit this whole blog cause it is a cluster fuck of ideas.. So I leave you with some lyrics I'm contemplating adding to my sleeve at some point. They hit me when I needed it most and really helped me.
"These bones are only temporary..
I can't say
The past will never get in the way.
Just remember, all things come and go,
But they don't mean a thing.
It's not about what you have now,
It's what you have in store... LET GO"
thimble on my chest, right above my heart..
It's funny to me that I tell people what my tattoos mean, but I know only about two/three people actually know what they mean to me with out even saying a word, what they truly represent..
I'm not really one to get into hardcore/metal bands.. About the hardest I listen to is A Day to Remember. Which is nothing if you really think about it. But the other day my best buddy Rob threw on some new stuff that he had just gotten into too. I've heard of these guys before, but never gave them a chance. I usually just lumped all those hardcore bands into a biased category of music I'd never listen to.
But for some reason like so many other bands at certain times it just hit me at the right time. Full force. I absolutely love this band. Memphis May Fire and their last release called The Hollow. It's pretty hard, but I love the clean vocals. Especially his voice. I also love that I can actually understand what the screamer/growler is saying. Most the time it's so bad I can't understand half the crap that is coming out of the screamers mouth.
This is just what I needed I think. A little different then I'm used to, but I'm always up for a change and this is a good one. Not like I'm gonna start loving hardcore music. I just like being able to listen to a band like this then shoot to Earth, Wind and Fire, then be in the mood for The Spill Canvas or Jazz haha. I love music and I'm glad I found a new appreciation for this type of music and definitely this band. I gotta see them live now on Warped. Just another band to add to the list of bands I want to see this year. I think the count is 14. This year is probably gonna be the best year I've ever been.
"The Unfaithful" & "The Haunted"
Edit: It's cool to see my blog up on the charts. Maybe one day I won't be just one the one with the most blog posts, but also most views. I'm getting up there. Almost 70k. That's awesome.