The way she would look at me. She had a bunch of different looks and smiles. I loved all of them, but my favorite was when she would look at me and her eyes would get really big and light up and then this super big smile would follow. That's when I knew she loved me the most haha. It was the best thing ever. Then she would throw her arms around me and love on me haha. I'm such a sap it's terrible.
Wrote a song lullaby type song last night, pretty sweet. Wish I could show her.
Totally dropped the soap in the shower the other day ;). But as I stood up I jacked my head on the door handle. So sore.
Then my buddy got a new knife a Gerrber or something. I barely touch it to see if it's sharp or dull and it splits my finger open.
I'm scared of what's coming next haha. I never get hurt, but lately it's like every other day.
But tonight was awesome, can't complain about that at all :).
Got Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 the other day. Love the 2nd and the 3rd is pretty awesome, but man I'm getting to that age were I make sure I want what I'm spending my money on. 64 bucks is a lot. Oh well it's not like I buy games all the time. But I did also order You, Me and Everyone We Knows second EP. So Young, So Insane. Love it and needed to add it to my cd collection. I wish I could find out if their first was ever released physically.
Hmm what else is new? Glad we don't have school on Monday.. Stoked to pick up Bayside's Killing Time on Tuesday. Started running again since the weather is nice. Definitely gonna get back in shape real quick.
Prayers for my grandfather. His prostate cancer came back, but they don't think it's serious so that's good. My other grandparents are going to a retirement home. Grandma has Alz and grandpa is 88 and getting to old to take care of her. I love that man. Just thinking of all the stuff he's seen. WW2 and Vietnam. JFK, MLK the invention of tv, the landing on the moon. I would love to have seen what he has seen. Maybe not the war stuff, but all that history in one man. Crazyness.
Hope everyone is good.
Oh yeah and I got a 117pt word on words with friends. Awesome shit. haha
Gotta say I love the mobile version of ap. The regular site worked just fine before but this is so much more simple. A lot quicker as well. Great job Jason and staff. Or whoever is doing the mobile site. Bravo. Awesome work. Oh and I love the gold emblems that alert you of quoted posts an such.
changing it up a bit lol
"our December sun is setting. Because I'm not who I used to be"
I hate feeling alone, my minds like an empty carousel. Spinning, working, doing nothing.
I'm still so emotionless. I love how we can just put on an act and pretend to be happy.. But then again thats what people are best at. Acting, I believe people don't change. They just portray.
Don't get me wrong I'm happy with most things in my life. It just feels like unfinished business, shit I just can't let go. You invest everything you have into something (someone) and it leaves you nothing in the end.
Just hopelessness and regrets, the thing I hate the most and that I think everyone hates is regrets. Hating the feeling of it being a regret, because at one time it made you the happiest ever and now that same thing makes you the most miserable ever.
I should be over this and I mostly am. It's that last little thread that needs to be cut. But, you never loose your love for someone, it just hides it's face. All I need is someone to bury that face, and cover it with their own. So when I close my eyes I see their face smiling at me not a reel of frames, memories that are what I never wanted them to become. Just memories.
I want to feel alive again. I've only been pretending, because I once knew what it felt like.
It sucks being in love with what someone once was. That perfect thing that completed you, now I'm left with a bad taste in my mouth knowing what that person pretends to be. But I know, and they know.
"So I don't have to, hold on to this burning heart
This burning heart is getting old, getting old
And while I'm sitting on this cold kitchen floor,
Head down to hide the tears,
I've finally realized that you were never meant for me"