Iíve always kind of felt that there was something I was just fundamentally missing. Whether itís about life, or relationships or myself, there has always been this gnawing belief that Iíve been doing it wrong. It feels as though everyone was told a secret in a language I canít understand when I was busy scribbling irrelevant sentences into notebooks. Iíve missed something important; Iíve missed the meaning. That must be the reason, because everyone seems much happier, much more together, much better at coping. Maybe they can just fake it much better then I can.
You were all anyone could talk about, and plenty of people have told me about your actions. You must have put on quite the show.
Because the truth is that gossip's as good as gospel in this town
You can save face but you won't ever save your soul
You should be ashamed of yourself, but your shamelessness has always been one of your best qualities hasnít it?
Although youíre not the only one who has something to answer for, there is plenty of guilt to go around.
So hurry up and run to the one that you love
And blind him with your kindness
Youíve fooled everyone havenít you? Iíve known you long enough to see youíre transparence and all those intentions you pretend to hide so well.
And know all that has spoiled in your heart
Yeah, he'll know it all
Heíll eventually see though it all too, then youíll be left with nothing.
Iím sure you thought you had me fooled, but I assure you its not that easy.
But I'm not gonna bless you with such compliments, some degrading song of praise
Feel free to do whatever you want because the person I knew doesn't even exist anymore, youíll probably be perfect for each other.
Because it's too hard to belong to someone who is gone
Iím not going to be there for you or become a liar when it all comes apart like Iím sure it will. Consider this official. Youíre on your own.
well i left my baby for a dream as lovely, for a love that's only in books i read.
and then i hit the cities, spent all my money, i just left my whole life in a taxi cab. cause it's just a memory, i can't love completely, when you're really with me, i'm indifferent.
but i try to get my head clear, it's too full of ideas that i haven't thought of yet.
and time, clocks keep waving their hands, doing all that they can to get our attention,
but the days fly away down a clean interstate and i'm staring drunk at a map.
so i let my hair down for the second time now, for the final time, now i had my fun. but there's no returning from the places we've been, just repeat our slogan, never again.
so we split, said you had to get out, headed back to the south, where everything is gentle.
and i stayed for a couple weeks more, all the weather reports said it would be snow for sure,
but the storm moved away to a neighboring state. i started the car.
I care, part of me always has I never could admit it, pride I guess, stupid reasons that mean even less now that I look back at them. Now it's to late. Sometimes we can't rewrite history, we just have to live through it.
I wish it would stop raining, its rained almost 90% of the days in april so far, I feel like i should be wearing tanks tops to class since its almost the end of the semester but I walk to class in long sleeves and a hoodie, its putting me all out of sorts. It seems as though the semester is ending rather anticlimactically, there hasnt been any defining moment so far that says summer is on its way like there was last year. It's kind of weird.
i like listening to bright eyes when it rains, ive had this song stuck in my head all day, enjoy.
Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
Beautiful. I wish I could climb into Connor Oberstís head and look around. I imagine it looks something like a fun house; itís like he sees words in those mirrors all stretched out and bloated, having lost all meaning, and he glimpses the starkest simplicity of them. He pulls out the most truthful meaning they offer, and I am left stunned by their bare flesh. Its akin to gazing at the blue-green ocean at noon, its dazzlingly in its exquisiteness but it burns your eyes, you can only take in so much before you must look away. Itís such a simple emotion, but those words meant everything to me the first time I heard them. It demonstrates the type of love that is unselfish and undemanding. Im not even sure I could recognize that sort of sentiment anymore. Such devotion and love is a rarity, people walk around treating it like some sort of catch-phrase. Everyone loves everyone. How convenient. I think more than half the time people just want something bigger then themselves so they create something. That makes a mockery of the sentiment above. What can I say, im a romantic cynic. I believe to love someone that way is extraordinary and uncommon, youíre lucky if you have it or if you ever find it even once in your life. Maybe someday ill be just lucky enough to glimpse it.