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Blowing Off Some Steam
Exams, life decisions, and The Wonder Years
05/04/11 at 09:09 PM by SteamCrow
So, while I've been away not posting, my brain was kidnapped by little black aliens in the form of text on 30+ pages of papers for finals this semester. I'm not done with everything but I'm pretty damn close. Also, in the last few weeks, I've been thinking and I've finally reached the decisions. I am going to drop out of the graphic design program of my school and re-enroll in general studies so that when I move on to a four year institution, I can start working on a psychology degree. I still plan on doing artsy stuff like, well, graphic design and photography, but I've never been able to stand the classes for those types of things. I've been told that those are things that I'm naturally talented at so I'd much rather build a reputation off of my own skill and merit than a signed piece of paper with my name on it (especially if it doesn't have a smiley face).

Anyway, after blowing around $80 on preorders for the Wonder Years' new album, I think its needless to say that I am fucking psyched for it. I've never been one for music videos but here's the one they put out with the preorders yesterday.
Tags: Exams, life decisions, and The Wonder Years
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Stress, Depression, Life, Death, and Tests
04/21/11 at 06:48 PM by SteamCrow
That title is one hell of a thing to follow. Anyway, kind of diving headfirst into my cold concrete pool of depression. Needless to say, it kind of sucks being the only one in the water. I don't know what to say really. School was decent, but I was kind of falling off the edge of the Earth by the time it was over. Traffic was hell and I was fifteen minutes late to work, which led to me being lectured/ bitched at for half an hour straight mainly about things that I didn't do or have since corrected in the last two weeks (I work in reception and deal mostly with scheduling appointments. Conveniently, we're normally booked for about two weeks so the appointments that I messed up on two weeks ago are just now starting to show up). I like my job, but with all the shit that I have to deal with from school anyway, its getting to be too much already.

So, basically, I have about 20-30 pages worth of take home tests in my Honors Abnormal Psychology class (2 separate tests- 10 questions each) of which I only have 3 pages done (with a single question). I have a 15 page English paper that I'm working on that also needs to be accompanied by an in-class presentation. My English teacher, by the way, has pretty much decided that she hates our class and has so far cancelled the last three classes because she gets that everyone (including me) thinks she's an idiot. Also, its Honors English 102. What other fun stuff... In my photography class, my final portfolio is due next week. In my drawing class, I have about 3/4 of the semester's worth of work to finish and turn in, as well as the exam which the teacher has apparently decided will be an in-class one. In my History of Graphic Design class, we get our take home exam on Tuesday and I was chosen to be the first person to present my presentation (which I haven't started on).

So on top of that, being held accountable for every last detail of my work as well as coming home to the shit I live with at the moment, I am understandably fucked up. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I've already had several major mental/ depressive breakdowns in the last few months. I know its my fault I'm in this spot and I know I'm the only one who can fix it. I'd rather not go down at all, but if I do, I'd rather go down fighting than whimpering in the corner being bitched at by the rest of the world. Fuck them. Right now, I am all I need to get past this.
Tags: suicide, depression, stress, life, school, finals, exams, whatfuckingever you want
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Last Updated: 05/04/11 (3,456 Views)
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