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War All The Time
|More often than I would like to, I encounter people that I know from years past. A massive amount of individuals that I grew up with are married, engaged, have children, or the beginning to some kind of respectable career. Most of them fall into the first three categories, and very few qualify for the respectable career aspect. This blows my fucking mind.|
Where have I gone wrong? What has my error been? I have not graduated. There is no girl to hold my hand. I am not bound to any job. My path is hardly known.
Pulling myself out of bed is often the hardest part of the day. There are never plans made for the evenings or weekends, and I have resigned myself to being alright with this. I seem to be understood better by people in faraway places. The number of local acquaintances I feel comfortable surrounding myself with continually decreases. It seems at times as if the only structure to my life exists in the form of prescription medication and scheduled doctors appointments.
Lost. There is an overwhelming sense of being lost.
I have no problem with people changing. People should be encouraged to evolve and improve upon themselves.
My only complaint is that they do it so fast. Take your time, take your time. There is no hurry. Don't you see? We are all going to the same place, anyways.
We are all going to the same place, but I seem to have stumbled off the path. I have wandered too far.
I need a map. A compass. A North Star.
Give me direction.
|Tags: journal, memories, motivation, directions, lost, patience, growing up