I dont know where I am. What I'm doing. Where I'm going.
I'm so all over the place right now. I'm happy, but I'm stressed. I'm falling in love, but I'm nervous and anxious and worried. I'm moving forward, but I feel like I'm running in place.
Maybe we can chalk it up to a long week and a weird night. The doubt will always seep through every now and then, even if I have an iron wall up. I just want clarity. I want time to slow down and life to catch up. I want stability and relaxation and some oxygen to breathe.
I need her hand to hold. I need her arms around me. It has been too long since I have felt the physical sensation of affection. I've been so closed off and unaffectionate, so unlike myself. I've fallen for her in every way, but I need to feel it now.