[sjb2k1]

my cousin killed himself nearly a decade ago. sometimes i think i've forgiven him for it, and sometimes i just get so angry at him for it. that said, he's one of the reasons i asked for help a couple years ago and still take my pills every day. there's no reason for me to follow him any farther down his path.

i'm not sure if i have any advice. don't be afraid to talk about it. you don't have to pretend it didn't happen. actually i think one of the worst things you can do is keep your emotion bottled up.

[ParkwayTom]

I had a good friend kill himself about two years ago. He had so many horrible things happen to him in the course of like three months that it was almost like I couldn't blame him. It was really hard to deal with at the time. Every year a bunch of us get together the day that it happened and hang out and tell stories about him and remember what a great friend he was to all of us when he was here. That has really helped a lot of us deal with losing him.

[seymourbuttes]

Originally Posted by 2's&3's

Edgy. I didn't see anyone laughing during the funeral I attended a few months ago. I must have missed the punchline.

Duhh, what kinda dick would laugh at a funeral?

[2's&3's]

Originally Posted by seymourbuttes

Duhh, what kinda dick would laugh at a funeral?

the provocative Resident poopoohead.

[seymourbuttes]

Originally Posted by 2's&3's

the provocative Resident poopoohead.

I've never even been to a funeral in my life.

[2's&3's]

Originally Posted by seymourbuttes

I've never even been to a funeral in my life.

you don't know what you're missing out on! people dress up, they usually serve food and drinks afterwards, and you get multiple hugs (even from strangers!).

[ellie117]

I thought about it for a considerable amount of time when I was around 15. I would write in journals about how upset and frustrated and completely fed up I was with my abusive, alcoholic father and how terrible my parents' divorce was, and how much easier it would be to just stop living.

Until I got a phone call one morning. A woman I consider my second mother, informed us that her daughter, a sister to me, had hung herself.

You don't realize how many people you really touch in your life. The funeral directors had to respectively turn people away at her funeral because there were so many people there to pay their respects, but there was a funeral scheduled after hers and they couldn't let the line get any longer. I didn't listen to her suicide tape, but I was told she spoke of how alone she felt.

You are not alone. I got over my severe depression by holing myself up in my room, listening to music and filling pages and pages of countless journals saying everything I couldn't say to anyone else. "Eventually" littered every entry. No therapy, no pills, just waiting for the eventually period to come. It hurt, but honestly, it did come.

OP, I'm sorry you have to go through this. And I'm also sorry to say, it will never be okay. Every morning you'll wake up and it will hurt a little bit less, but it will never go away. My only advice to you is to treasure the time you had with your friend. And keep an eye out for other friends who may start to exhibit the same symptoms your friend may have the weeks or months before his ultimate decision. It's tough, there's no point in trying to act like it's not. As cliche as it sounds, you just have to keep going.

[Passion Man]

never, thankfully. I can't relate.

[Caleb Cabrera]

I appreciate all of the support and such.

I just don't understand why he didn't talk to anybody about it. It was out of the blue. He was okay at school the day before, then I wake up, check my Facebook, and my news feed is littered with R.I.P. Ben. It hit hard because I had been in the same situation merely a month ago. I don't know what drove him to it, but I can say that he had so much to live for.

Again, thank all of you who actually took this serious.

[PHI Flyers10]

I'm sorry for your loss man. Suicide is such a selfish and sad way to go. Life at our age can almost never be bad enough that you have to kill yourself. You can find a way out of it. It's too bad your friend didn't speak out and get help on it. I've thankfully never lost a friend to suicide but I have some that are possibly clinically depressed but they don't want to go to the doctor.

[xCoconutheadx]

Originally Posted by Caleb Cabrera

I appreciate all of the support and such.

I just don't understand why he didn't talk to anybody about it. It was out of the blue. He was okay at school the day before, then I wake up, check my Facebook, and my news feed is littered with R.I.P. Ben. It hit hard because I had been in the same situation merely a month ago. I don't know what drove him to it, but I can say that he had so much to live for.

Again, thank all of you who actually took this serious.

Its possible that he was the kind of person that didnt like talking about his problems openly, because its just how he deals with his problems, in silence. There are moments when we dont feel in control and then you react but I know what you mean.

[Tautou107]

really sorry for the OP- i've never lost anyone to this but i imagine it's a terrible thing to experience and it's very sad your friend had to go that way. my father has attempted suicide a number of times and it's difficult because it's natural to feel angry with them for not considering their influence in your life and the pain their action will cause you but it's also necessary to sympathize with them and try to understand their own pain. tbh i understand the "suicide is selfish" argument but it's just as selfish to be angry with them for not knowing what to do with their sadness. it's a tricky subject. i'm sorry you're going through this though and i wish i had some advice but i think all there is to do is to mourn and remember your friend.

[SincerelyMe]

I feel your pain. Two of my friends hung themselves around this time last year. Suicide is the absolute worst way to lose someone. There's no one to be mad at and you never get to understand why it happened and have that closure. I'm sorry for your loss.

[BusterBluth]

Never have had friends but have fantasied about doing it a lot in the past. Never actually attempted, would never wanna hurt my loved ones like that.

[maineiac04631]

My best friend from high school killed himself at age 30 back in 1995, his marriage fell apart and he lost his job and was found face down in the Great Miami River in Hamilton Ohio face down in 2 feet of water, his shoes were left neatly by the river bank next to an empty vodka bottle and he had a bunch of pills and alcohol in his system. At first it was ruled an accident but two days later his soon to be ex wife got a letter from him in the mail.

We did not stay in touch like we used to and once we got married and had kids and jobs, and bills to pay we only saw each other a few times a year, I kind of feel like I could have done more and kept in closer contact, maybe he would still be here.