[KrisValentine]

Originally Posted by Xei

loll

??? don't like it?

[Xei]

nah...itz good

[KrisValentine]

Originally Posted by Xei

nah...itz good

Okay.. thank you.. You dosen't really say alot huh

[KrisValentine]

d'.

[bijusharman]

Thanks for sharing...

[a speedo model]

Originally Posted by KrisValentine

Heaven Again: Part Two

My heart loses it shape and turn into tears
That i drop every night when i wish you where here
I just hope you will wait for me my dear

What i miss the most is your warm hands
That you always laid in mine when nobody cares
About the things going on inside of my head that i dosen't understand

What about the future we both planned
Now i see it burning down like a crasing airplane
Because you left me here crying in the rain
So take me with you back to heaven again

This is insulting.

The rhyming is so forced that it borders on cut and paste cliche. There is no flow, lines are set up just for rhymes. The imagery is boring and all redundant/cliche and the lack of polish shows almost no respect for the reader.

Please be considerate when writing and posting. Never insult the reader.

[T.I.M.]

Nice lyrics man.Really nice.Such a good and strong message .The expressed feeling goes straight to the audience's heart.

[KrisValentine]

Originally Posted by T.I.M.

Nice lyrics man.Really nice.Such a good and strong message .The expressed feeling goes straight to the audience's heart.

Wow thanks for the really nice words just what i wanna hear I was just looking back at some lyrics i posted on here i think i got better but it's such a great feeling to see someone post such a nice comment on my writing so thanks man

[a speedo model]

Nobody wants to learn or grow. That is what killed this forum.

[KrisValentine]

Originally Posted by a speedo model

Nobody wants to learn or grow. That is what killed this forum.

Who doesn't want to learn stuff