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02:49 PM on 09/23/12 
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KrisValentine
Shut up, watching Star Trek<3
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Ohh! I hear things about you at night
Things that i just can't get out of my mind
You better explan me what is happing right now
Before i walk away and leave you behind
Ohh! you dosen't make it easy
But i always let you speak out
'Cause you're the only thing that keep me breathing
And i know i will miss you every second of my life
But i am ready to live so just let me leave
Away.. from this.. City


Take a few steps back and just watch
Everything you have done it's the reason we fall apart
Do you think i keep myself alive just for fun
You better start runing before i kill the sun
For i see no light in front of us
I can only see the one thing i ever loved
Breaking and exploading
Right in fucking front of us

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Not finish at all but i really like this little part here i just writed(:
I am prolly gonna add more lyrics to this and finish it
Into a whole song Just wanted to hear what people
Have to say about this(:
08:20 PM on 09/25/12 
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Blindkid
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Cincinnati, OH
Male - 23 Years Old
Not sure if the bad grammar was intended but either way, fix it. Also your plot is all over the place.
09:58 PM on 09/25/12 
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KrisValentine
Shut up, watching Star Trek<3
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Not sure if the bad grammar was intended but either way, fix it. Also your plot is all over the place.
I'm so fucking sorry if a few misspelled words kill'd the whole thing for you bro.. I got a idea tho i think i set it up like this "I am just watching.. I am just falling apart.. I am just alive for fun.. I am killing the sun" trough the whole thing it's so artful talented and gives a whole ohter feeling just like having a black cock deep inside your fatty ass.. It's sad that a 16 year old kid can meet people with higher respect than a 21 year old..
10:35 PM on 09/25/12 
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CJeezy2012
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NC
Male - 21 Years Old
What's up bro, man I read this like 5 times and I want more! Its like your setting up how you feel towards someone. If it was me, I would lay it out like an story. What made this situation occur? Etc. You should write more to it bro, peace
10:52 PM on 09/25/12 
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Blindkid
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Cincinnati, OH
Male - 23 Years Old
I'm so fucking sorry if a few misspelled words kill'd the whole thing for you bro.. I got a idea tho i think i set it up like this "I am just watching.. I am just falling apart.. I am just alive for fun.. I am killing the sun" trough the whole thing it's so artful talented and gives a whole ohter feeling just like having a black cock deep inside your fatty ass.. It's sad that a 16 year old kid can meet people with higher respect than a 21 year old..

Lol! sounds good man, you is gettin the hangs of it now. Hahaha well sorry i made ya sad, i hope you didnt cry too hard. Nahhh you're a big kid. Are you crazy?! Lol if you thought for a second you were getting any respect with that bratty attitude you were sorely mistaken. Oh nobody wants their work critiqued by a smug little turd that cant spell or put together a fluent sentence.
10:59 PM on 09/25/12 
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KrisValentine
Shut up, watching Star Trek<3
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What's up bro, man I read this like 5 times and I want more! Its like your setting up how you feel towards someone. If it was me, I would lay it out like an story. What made this situation occur? Etc. You should write more to it bro, peace
Haha thanks man! Yeah i try so hard to write more to this but i find it so hard 'cause the chorus is really agressive and i want it to have a little agressive feeling after like.. The feeling you have right after a big fight and then into the chorus again where we will get the full agressive feeling back but all the stuff i have writed so far dosen't really give that feeling but well i keep trying till i get there(;
11:00 PM on 09/25/12 
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CJeezy2012
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Male - 21 Years Old
Lol! sounds good man, you is gettin the hangs of it now. Hahaha well sorry i made ya sad, i hope you didnt cry too hard. Nahhh you're a big kid. Are you crazy?! Lol if you thought for a second you were getting any respect with that bratty attitude you were sorely mistaken. Oh nobody wants their work critiqued by a smug little turd that cant spell or put together a fluent sentence.

Yo man shut the fuck up. Kris lyrics and talent is way more better than your sorry ass. I read kris lyrics perfectly fine and I didn't notice his grammer because its not important!!! If you understand what he meant and said then that's all it matters right?! Sounds like to me if you can't understand what he said then you need to go back to class and learn dickhead. I was being chill and cool with you but now your being an pussy because you can't handle an bad critic! Get over it, its life! Move the fuck on and show us you can do it! You sensitive mother fucker
11:06 PM on 09/25/12 
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KrisValentine
Shut up, watching Star Trek<3
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Lol! sounds good man, you is gettin the hangs of it now. Hahaha well sorry i made ya sad, i hope you didnt cry too hard. Nahhh you're a big kid. Are you crazy?! Lol if you thought for a second you were getting any respect with that bratty attitude you were sorely mistaken. Oh nobody wants their work critiqued by a smug little turd that cant spell or put together a fluent sentence.
Holy shit "Hahaha well sorry i made ya sad, i hope you didnt cry too hard. Nahhh you're a big kid." That is something that would have came out of a 7 year old boys mouth.. Just like your lyrics..
03:54 AM on 09/27/12 
#9
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SilverJayStorm
Destiny is of one's choice.
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Tennessee, USA
Female - 15 Years Old
Sounds good as a song, but as a life happening, it sounds sad. Isn't that what songs do? I don't know. It's well written and it makes sense, so I think it's pretty good! The lyrics are a strong emotion, and show how the writer seems torn apart between to choices, stay or go. It's a great song :)
10:22 AM on 10/10/12 
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skibler
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keep on keepin it
10:23 AM on 10/10/12 
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skibler
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Finish it though want to see the rest
12:17 PM on 10/10/12 
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KrisValentine
Shut up, watching Star Trek<3
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Finish it though want to see the rest
I'm not really working on this anymore I'm pretty much stuck with this song and rest of my songs
12:29 PM on 10/10/12 
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skibler
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I always am bringing my lyrics back up to either rearrange or rewrite or even add to them....sometimes a song never gets done....you never know when an idea or a hook will come back into your head....keep on writing.
03:59 AM on 10/14/12 
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KrisValentine
Shut up, watching Star Trek<3
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I always am bringing my lyrics back up to either rearrange or rewrite or even add to them....sometimes a song never gets done....you never know when an idea or a hook will come back into your head....keep on writing.
thanks for the tips man and yeah sometimes i bring lyrics back up again or not really the lyrics but more the idea of the lyrics i find it really hard to write a part and then come back a week later and write more to it i kinda has to write it all down right away and maybe i re'write a line or add a new line to it but not much .. this song is just one of those that's never get's done i thin.. at least for now
05:36 AM on 10/14/12 
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skibler
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I sometimes write and rewrite my lyrics over and over again....but after awhile you just have to let them go as is...I have so many on the table that my computer is slowing down...lol...keep up the good work and don't forget to check out some of my stuff and let me know what you think.



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