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07:50 AM on 09/20/12 
#1
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jake1000
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Portsmouth, United...
Male - 21 Years Old
Another one from me! I won't tell you the meaning or anything as I think it's pretty clear. As always, feel free to share your opinions, don't hesitate to tell me if you think it's awful, but constructive criticism is better :)


Verse 1

Crashing waves and thunder fill your mind
The sun hasnít shun in days
Someone close is gone
Buried
Dead
Itís all that you think about
Memories
Love
Occupy your head

Verse 2

You bury your head in your soft, subtle hands
A tear runs down your cheek
That single line on your face
Says that youíre young
But old enough to feel pain
Youíre looking for a way out
Why is this happening now?

CHORUS

You canít see
Through the mist and the shadows
You canít see
Through the hurt and the loss
But time is a healer
And soon you will see
That while you have lost
Thereís more still to live for
Youíve still got a lot
YouíveÖ still got us
Keep on, Keep on

Verse 3

Youíve felt cast away for sometime now
Itís hard to get back when youíve been adrift
But youíre getting close to the shore
Youíve been living on an island
Deserted, all by yourself
Itís time to get back to your home
We are here
Stop sulking, start sharing, youíre not alone

CHORUS

You canít see
Through the mist and the shadows
You canít see
Through the hurt and the loss
But time is a healer
And soon you will see
That while you have lost
Thereís more still to live for
Youíve still got a lot
YouíveÖ still got us
Keep on, Keep on

Bridge

What are you doing now?
Youíre basking in the light
Youíve got yourself a new job
Youíve got yourself a new life
Hard times may come again
But now you realize
Things just keep on going
You have to keep onÖ
You have to keep onÖ
05:42 AM on 09/23/12 
#2
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Blindkid
Tanner
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Cincinnati, OH
Male - 23 Years Old
The bridge is my favorite part, its all relatable
08:01 AM on 09/26/12 
#3
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jake1000
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Portsmouth, United...
Male - 21 Years Old
Thanks for your opinion :) The song was supposed to be exactly that, simple and relatable
11:50 AM on 10/05/12 
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Bocheech
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Male - 19 Years Old
nice job dude
06:24 PM on 10/07/12 
#5
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topekoms
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Boston Ma.
Male - 24 Years Old
Very Good
11:48 AM on 10/16/12 
#6
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jake1000
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Portsmouth, United...
Male - 21 Years Old
Thanks :)
06:08 AM on 11/14/12 
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One World
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UK
Male
I must admit, to me the feel of the song is to be uplifting and to carry the message to never give up. However, having said that. The bridge, if it is also the ending trails the opposite way. This could very well just be my own experiences.

"But now you realize
Things just keep on going
You have to keep on…
You have to keep on…"

These lyrics pull me down a little bit just because i look at life and how things go on, so you really only have one choice and that is to carry on as you say. I don't know if that makes sense but just that I feel there should be more to life, than just carrying on. I'm probably delusional, anyway. A great piece, I really enjoyed it, thank you.

Chris
11:51 AM on 11/14/12 
#8
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Voguerista
Regular Member
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Female
Very cool. I love it.
04:42 AM on 11/15/12 
#9
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jake1000
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Portsmouth, United...
Male - 21 Years Old
Thanks OneWorld, totally understand your point and actually agree with you, so might be worth me having a re-write of the end there, but glad you enjoyed the rest of it.
09:02 AM on 11/22/12 
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tarzanboy
Flyest
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Another job well done. You deserve it.
06:45 PM on 12/20/12 
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jake1000
Registered User
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Portsmouth, United...
Male - 21 Years Old
Thanks! :)
06:05 AM on 12/26/12 
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Magicpeix
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BCN
Male - 22 Years Old
got a poetic feel! liked it
08:34 PM on 12/26/12 
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cut!print
Keep me simple, unplug my head.
cut!print's Avatar
Lynnwood, WA
Male
Other than the over usage of ending lines in 'now' I really like it. Very relate able.
06:29 PM on 12/27/12 
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xCoconutheadx
Perfectly Imperfect
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United States
Female - 21 Years Old
Keep up the good work, are you in a band?
06:59 PM on 02/14/13 
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jake1000
Registered User
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Portsmouth, United...
Male - 21 Years Old
Thanks man! Nah i'm not, am thinking of joining one though!



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