[LostAllways]

Just applied at a local sperm bank, waiting on the call back. I'm intelligent (just turned 19, senior standing in university), bilingual (arguably trilingual), good looking enough, tall enough, and absolutely ripped and healthy as hell ;) get at me ladies. My only concerns: I've smoked weed, and I have really, really, utterly terrible eyesight. Not sure if that even matters because I don't think eyesight is in any way hereditary. If I don't qualify, at least I'll have the extensive genetic/infectious disease screenings done for free. I really hope I do though.

So... anyone here have experience (or know someone that does) with donating sperm? And by donating, I mean getting paid to do it. Tell me about how great it is to masturbate for money!

[White]

6 Terrifying Things Nobody Tells You About Donating Sperm

#2 is of special concern.

[LostAllways]

Ohhhhhh damn, I'm allergic to eggs, sesame seeds, kiwi, pecans, walnuts, and cats. Disqualified. GG.

... I'm going to lie about the food allergies and see what happens.

[sjb2k1]

Originally Posted by LostAllways

Ohhhhhh damn, I'm allergic to eggs, sesame seeds, kiwi, pecans, walnuts, and cats. Disqualified. GG.

... I'm going to lie about the food allergies and see what happens.

that would be really really shitty of you

[LostAllways]

Originally Posted by sjb2k1

that would be really really shitty of you

My food allergies have actually [edit: positively] contributed to my quality of life greatly. Besides the fact that the only reaction is vomiting the food in my stomach (which has given me incredibly, incredibly strong esophagus control that's allowed me to binge drink for the past 2 years without ever throwing up, not even once, ever, I fucking swear), I've always had to think about my food choices and read my nutrition labels from a very young age when most kids would just devour whatever garbage their parents shat out in front of them. This made me aware of things most Americans have never even heard of such as "Calories" and "Servings per container" and "Fat" and "Carbohydrates" and "Protein" and the likes, and it's made me acutely aware of what types of foods are nutritious vs. what aren't. I'm a nutrition guru. Vegan for years (recently started eating fish, you can call me a Vegan+Fish... seriously look at fish, there's no way they exist for any reason besides to be consumed as part of an incredible diet). I'm more aesthetic (brah) and stronger than all my friends that swear by eating beef daily (rofl, idiots). I break necks at the gym, I have a big ass that's better than the asses of 92% of women. If my parents weren't idiots I could've easily been a professional athlete. On top of all this, it's taught me a bit of discipline. I can't eat cakes, some cookies, brownies, basically anything that's empty calories. The only negative is apparently walnuts are the healthiest fucking nut, which bothers the shit out of me. I try one from time to time to see if I'm still allergic. They're in a container here behind my laptop. Yep, still allergic.

tl,dr; this kid would be fucking blessed to be half Palestinian, and have my food allergies.

[sjb2k1]

Originally Posted by LostAllways

My food allergies have actually contributed to my quality of life greatly. Besides the fact that the only reaction is vomiting the food in my stomach (which has given me incredibly, incredibly strong esophagus control that's allowed me to binge drink for the past 2 years without ever throwing up, not even once, ever, I fucking swear), I've always had to think about my food choices and read my nutrition labels from a very young age when most kids would just devour whatever garbage their parents shat out in front of them. This made me aware of things most Americans have never even heard of such as "Calories" and "Servings per container" and "Fat" and "Carbohydrates" and "Protein" and the likes, and it's made me acutely aware of what types of foods are nutritious vs. what aren't. I'm a nutrition guru. Vegan for years (recently started eating fish, you can call me a Vegan+Fish... seriously look at fish, there's no way they exist for any reason besides to be consumed as part of an incredible diet). I'm more aesthetic (brah) and stronger than all my friends that swear by eating beef daily (rofl, idiots). I break necks at the gym, I have a big ass that's better than the asses of 92% of women. If my parents weren't idiots I could've easily been a professional athlete. On top of all this, it's taught me a bit of discipline. I can't eat cakes, some cookies, brownies, basically anything that's empty calories. The only negative is apparently walnuts are the healthiest fucking nut, which bothers the shit out of me. I try one from time to time to see if I'm still allergic. They're in a container here behind my laptop. Yep, still allergic.

tl,dr; this kid would be fucking blessed to be half Palestinian, and have my food allergies.

i don't care how you rationalize it. i repeat: lying on an application for something as vital as this is really really shitty.

[LostAllways]

Originally Posted by sjb2k1

i don't care how you rationalize it. i repeat: lying on an application for something as vital as this is really really shitty.

I disagree, I don't think it matters at all. Allergies aren't a genetic disease. Unless you can give me a valid reason for why lying about non-lethal food allergies that are closer to food-intolerances than anything is 'really really shitty', your opinion doesn't matter to me.

I have two uncles (one on each side of family) with the same egg allergy, and they both grew out of it around pre-adolescence. I'm supposed to have already grown out of these allergies, but I haven't which is fine with me. They've gotten way less severe over time to the point that I can eat stuff with eggs in it without feeling shitty or vomiting. The nuts and seeds are a different story, instant vomit which is always nice. I should make it clear that when the label says "May contain traces of...", it's a non-issue because traces aren't enough to trigger them. A doctor said it's actually healthy to vomit periodically and cleanse out the stomach a bit.

[bobsheiskawy]

...maybe a woman looking for a sperm donor wouldn't want her kid to be allergic to the things you're allergic to.

[Fringe]

Originally Posted by LostAllways

My food allergies have actually contributed to my quality of life greatly. Besides the fact that the only reaction is vomiting the food in my stomach (which has given me incredibly, incredibly strong esophagus control that's allowed me to binge drink for the past 2 years without ever throwing up, not even once, ever, I fucking swear), I've always had to think about my food choices and read my nutrition labels from a very young age when most kids would just devour whatever garbage their parents shat out in front of them. This made me aware of things most Americans have never even heard of such as "Calories" and "Servings per container" and "Fat" and "Carbohydrates" and "Protein" and the likes, and it's made me acutely aware of what types of foods are nutritious vs. what aren't. I'm a nutrition guru. Vegan for years (recently started eating fish, you can call me a Vegan+Fish... seriously look at fish, there's no way they exist for any reason besides to be consumed as part of an incredible diet). I'm more aesthetic (brah) and stronger than all my friends that swear by eating beef daily (rofl, idiots). I break necks at the gym, I have a big ass that's better than the asses of 92% of women. If my parents weren't idiots I could've easily been a professional athlete. On top of all this, it's taught me a bit of discipline. I can't eat cakes, some cookies, brownies, basically anything that's empty calories. The only negative is apparently walnuts are the healthiest fucking nut, which bothers the shit out of me. I try one from time to time to see if I'm still allergic. They're in a container here behind my laptop. Yep, still allergic.

tl,dr; this kid would be fucking blessed to be half Palestinian, and have my food allergies.

Literally the worst thing I've read all week

[LostAllways]

Originally Posted by bobsheiskawy

...maybe a woman looking for a sperm donor wouldn't want her kid to be allergic to the things you're allergic to.

Boo-fucking-hoo, the kid's going to be gorgeous, tall, athletic, sharp as hell, etc. They can deal.

Originally Posted by Fringe

Literally the worst thing I've read all week

You're welcome :)

[2's&3's]

Originally Posted by LostAllways

Boo-fucking-hoo, the kid's going to be gorgeous, tall, athletic, sharp as hell, etc. They can deal.

we can be damn sure he/she won't have any humility!

[sjb2k1]

Originally Posted by LostAllways

I disagree, I don't think it matters at all. Allergies aren't a genetic disease. Unless you can give me a valid reason for why lying about non-lethal food allergies that are closer to food-intolerances than anything is 'really really shitty', your opinion doesn't matter to me.

I have two uncles (one on each side of family) with the same egg allergy, and they both grew out of it around pre-adolescence. I'm supposed to have already grown out of these allergies, but I haven't which is fine with me. They've gotten way less severe over time to the point that I can eat stuff with eggs in it without feeling shitty or vomiting. The nuts and seeds are a different story, instant vomit which is always nice. I should make it clear that when the label says "May contain traces of...", it's a non-issue because traces aren't enough to trigger them. A doctor said it's actually healthy to vomit periodically and cleanse out the stomach a bit.

i see you've edited your post, but allergies and the tendency to develop them are absolutely hereditary. so you will be fucking over someone because you want money for jerking off.

[claw38]

[LostAllways]

Originally Posted by sjb2k1

i see you've edited your post, but allergies and the tendency to develop them are absolutely hereditary. so you will be fucking over someone because you want money for jerking off.

So how exactly am I fucking anyone over? I'm still not clear on that. You think food allergy = depressed child or something? lol... Good parents, happy child. Shitty parents, probably unhappy child. Food allergies are not a factor here.

[sjb2k1]

Originally Posted by LostAllways

So how exactly am I fucking anyone over? I'm still not clear on that. You think food allergy = depressed child or something? lol... Good parents, happy child. Shitty parents, probably unhappy child. Food allergies are not a factor here.

why do you think they ask you that question about food allergies? because it doesn't matter?

do whatever you want, but lying on a form like this makes you a pretty big douche bag.