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05:15 PM on 02/04/13 
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JoshKilpatrickL
It Didn't Have To Be This Way
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Male - 22 Years Old
I lost a good friend today who committed suicide and I don't know how to get through it. I'm sad, angry, confused. I have so many questions. I feel guilty that maybe if he had told me what was wrong I could of helped him.

Does anyone, who went through something similar, have any advice on how to get through it?
06:49 PM on 02/04/13 
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ari telescope
kitties
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Southern California
Female - 26 Years Old
I haven't gone through that, but I'm really sorry that happened. I can't even imagine how I would handle it. I'm really sorry.

I know if it were me, I would try to learn something from my friend so it doesn't feel like it was all for nothing. Send a text to someone you haven't spoken to, just so they know you're thinking of them. Smile at someone you don't know who seems quiet or sad. You could make alot of a difference to someone you don't even know.

When people lose a battle with depression or anxiety, I feel there is always something to learn from them.

Take care.
06:59 PM on 02/04/13 
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marieeboxx
Cat Lady
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West Coast
Female - 23 Years Old
I haven't experience a loss like that either. I'm sorry to hear what happened. But, I have known people who have experience losses of people close to them, and for them talking to someone helps.... whether it may be a counselor, a friend, or family member.
08:48 PM on 02/04/13 
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Alex26
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aww man that sucks, sorry to hear that :( my girlfriend had this happen to her, she felt guilty because she thought "if only she had known she could have stopped them". But don't blame yourself, you aren't a mind reader, it isn't your fault. I hope you feel better soon man!
08:54 PM on 02/04/13 
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kbomb001
Jesus Saves
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The World of Dreams
Male - 21 Years Old
I haven't gone through that, but I'm really sorry that happened. I can't even imagine how I would handle it. I'm really sorry.

I know if it were me, I would try to learn something from my friend so it doesn't feel like it was all for nothing. Send a text to someone you haven't spoken to, just so they know you're thinking of them. Smile at someone you don't know who seems quiet or sad. You could make alot of a difference to someone you don't even know.

When people lose a battle with depression or anxiety, I feel there is always something to learn from them.

Take care.
This
09:39 PM on 02/04/13 
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Mot
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Sicklerville, NJ
Male - 27 Years Old
My best friend died in January. It's been rough goings but what helps me most is being with my other friends and talking about him.
09:40 PM on 02/04/13 
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Mot
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Sicklerville, NJ
Male - 27 Years Old
I haven't gone through that, but I'm really sorry that happened. I can't even imagine how I would handle it. I'm really sorry.

I know if it were me, I would try to learn something from my friend so it doesn't feel like it was all for nothing. Send a text to someone you haven't spoken to, just so they know you're thinking of them. Smile at someone you don't know who seems quiet or sad. You could make alot of a difference to someone you don't even know.

When people lose a battle with depression or anxiety, I feel there is always something to learn from them.

Take care.

100% this. This has crossed my mind every single day since I lost my friend.
11:44 PM on 02/04/13 
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jrayrocks9191
Blah.
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Male - 22 Years Old
As a person who has been suicidal for years(currently diagnosed with severe depression), I feel like lots of people know that something is wrong and they just choose not to do anything about it because they don't want to overstep their boundaries. For instance, my mom asked me about some razorblades in my room that she had found, I said it was nothing and she left it alone. I always wished that someone would pressure me about it rather than shying off when I pushed them away.

Lately I feel like I've undersold my depression. I never wanted to burden anyone and everyone just abandoned me because of it. Maybe if they thought I wasn't just feeling sorry for myself they'd have done something about it.

Long story short, don't give a fuck about what they say. If you feel something is wrong with someone, ask them about it. Really, FUCKING ask them about it. Don't take no for an answer.
04:50 AM on 02/05/13 
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sevinw0rds
Polyrhythms!
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Las Vegas
Male - 31 Years Old
As a person who has been suicidal for years(currently diagnosed with severe depression), I feel like lots of people know that something is wrong and they just choose not to do anything about it because they don't want to overstep their boundaries. For instance, my mom asked me about some razorblades in my room that she had found, I said it was nothing and she left it alone. I always wished that someone would pressure me about it rather than shying off when I pushed them away.

Lately I feel like I've undersold my depression. I never wanted to burden anyone and everyone just abandoned me because of it. Maybe if they thought I wasn't just feeling sorry for myself they'd have done something about it.

Long story short, don't give a fuck about what they say. If you feel something is wrong with someone, ask them about it. Really, FUCKING ask them about it. Don't take no for an answer.

That's really rough to hear, dude...I truly hope things turn around for you. Great advice at the end as well.
06:57 AM on 02/05/13 
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emmx8D
Thanks Daaaaaaaaaan
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Pittsburgh,...
Female
I just wanna say that you aren't alone by any means. I've lost two great friends due to suicide. When I was in 8th grade, my friend Mikayla's death was ruled a suicide when she was only 13. Two years ago, my friend Shane's death was ruled a suicide when he was only 16. It's an incredibly tough thing to comprehend, especially for people at such a young age. It's also tough to deal with this not just now, but really for the rest of your life because no matter what, they will always stick in your mind. My advice is to just think of every single happy moment you have with that person because since you are gonna think about it no matter what, just do your best to make it 100% happy thoughts.

And 100% honesty here, do not blame yourself. I know it's hard not to. I watch Shane's parents blame themselves daily and it wrecks them. I blame myself because I was always an outlet for both of them and towards the end, I sort of disappeared.. which I can't even live with now without going crazy. I agree with the advice above. Try and text someone you haven't talked to in awhile, let them know you're there. Let everyone know you're there for them if they need it. It will help both internally for you and externally for them. Also, talk to as many people as you can. I know it's a rough subject and especially now that it's so recent, but keeping it inside will only hurt. Try and talk about your friend as much as you can too. Keeping memories alive is one of the best things you can do.

You're in my thoughts.
10:01 AM on 02/05/13 
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ChelseaRiane
<3
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Buffalo, NY
Female - 21 Years Old
Don't blame yourself for anything and let yourself grieve in whatever way you feel will help. I've spent the last 3+ years dwelling on the "what if's", how I never got to say goodbye and how I wish I had one more minute but it doesn't matter because it's completely out of my control. And when they say time heals all wounds, they're lying. Eventually it dulls but it never goes away.

I'm truly sorry for your loss. I wish I could offer better advice but it's hard for me to think about death
12:27 PM on 02/05/13 
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PAPER R1VAL
There be dragons here...
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South Carolina
Male - 24 Years Old
I lost a good friend today who committed suicide and I don't know how to get through it. I'm sad, angry, confused. I have so many questions. I feel guilty that maybe if he had told me what was wrong I could of helped him.

Does anyone, who went through something similar, have any advice on how to get through it?

I lost a good friend to suicide when I was 20 years old as well.

It still upsets me every now and then because I feel like I didn't do enough to stay in touch with him when we went away to college. But you can't blame yourself for this. It was a choice that only he could make. There's no room for "what ifs" - do not do that to yourself.

I'm not going to say it gets better, because I've lost a parent and friends suddenly. People always try to say that it gets better - death is something that stays with you forever, but you can move forward.

Stay in touch with his family, even if you aren't particularly close with them. They are dealing with tragedy and helping them through this is the best thing that you can do for your friend.
04:57 PM on 02/05/13 
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honkytonk
Fedoras, limit 1 per group.
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Niagara Falls, ON
Male
Really sorry to hear this, man. I had a friend commit suicide a few years ago and went through similar emotions. It's something that takes a while to accept, but you can move forward. Grieve in whatever way you feel necessary, and don't blame yourself. It's not your fault, know that he wouldn't want to put that kind of burden on you. Surround yourself with people who matter most to you; reach out if you need to, but also be there to support his loved ones through this difficult time.

But maybe most importantly, keep living life for him. Celebrate the beauty of the life you have and try to appreciate every moment of it. Always keep him in your thoughts, through your success and your failures, and know that he's still there with you every step of the way.

I'm sorry for your loss dude, really I am.
09:36 PM on 02/05/13 
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Fringe
facebook.com/HigherAndHigherMusic
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Edmonton, Alberta
Male - 19 Years Old
Talk about him lots. Don't bottle anything up.

I'm sorry for your loss, man.
12:23 AM on 02/06/13 
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danperez
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Male - 25 Years Old
By all means, grieve.
It's healthy that you do so now.

As wrong as it may sound, things will get better.



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