[guitarpickheart]

Originally Posted by Idealist80

Just started song writing a couple of weeks ago, and im interested in pursuing it... any feedback is needed, thanks


Why am I trying to give when no ones willing to receive
Warmness of the soul is at an all time low
So I try to stay strong and believe
And if it helps just think about the positive memories
Noticing, Some wear their hearts on their sleeves
Realizing I wear mine buried away behind locked gates, Under weeping willow trees
I control my own fate
and im going to keep on trying to fly straight
because if I fall… or trip back into this state
I’m gonna bring a ladder and gloves
So I can
Climb right back out
So there will never be a shred of doubt....
Being able to successfully sprout
From under the willow trees, hoping I can be, the person I know I can be

I like the bolded parts a lot. I'm not a big fan of the out/doubt/sprout rhyming or the opening lyrics, however.
Also, in your last sentence ("hoping I can be the person I know I can be"), I think the second usage of the word "be" is a little repetitive.

[Idealist80]

Originally Posted by guitarpickheart

I like the bolded parts a lot. I'm not a big fan of the out/doubt/sprout rhyming or the opening lyrics, however.
Also, in your last sentence ("hoping I can be the person I know I can be"), I think the second usage of the word "be" is a little repetitive.

Yea im not that big a fan either but its just what popped in my head first, im gonna make an edited version soon, and ya, I wasn't too sure about the last line, gonna fix that a bit. Thanks for the feedback, helps alot

[guitarpickheart]

Anytime.