AbsolutePunk.net
   Username
Password
 
Share
07:35 AM on 03/23/12 
Offline
User Info.
xRadioJoyx
Regular Member
xRadioJoyx's Avatar
Perth, WA
Female
This situation might sound really immature but I honestly don't know what to do because this is really the first time I've ever experienced such a typical high school problem involving bitching and rumours and all that bullshit.... if that put you off reading this I understand. It's got a bit of a prologue as well.

So about a month ago I went to my year 12 school ball. I went without a date, and ended up sitting at a table next to another girls date, who happened to be a massive blink fan... and we spent most of the night talking about music and all that kinda stuff. Soundwave festival was coming up in a few days and as AVA were playing, we knew Tom would be in our city on that Sunday. So, being the fanatics that we are, we went to the airport to meet Tom Delonge (which was one of the most amazing moments ever). We had spent about 4 hours sitting in the airport getting to know each other, and got along really well. That night, without me knowing, the guy broke up with his girlfriend (they'd been going out for 17 months), but it had nothing to do with me, they'd been having problems for a while. The next day was Soundwave, and we spent the whole day hanging out right up til the end when AVA played. He kept putting his hands on my waist.. (which I at first thought was due to there being hardly any room to move right at the front of the crowd, but there are other places to put your hands. I could just be making something out of nothing there), and I kinda got the impression he liked me to some degree.. just because of the way he kept looking at me. I just got a vibe.

A few Fridays later, I was home alone and bored after work, so he offered to come over and just hang out, and we just chilled, watched a movie, went on a maccas run and talked for a bit. The next Monday at school, I was in maths sitting next to a girl who I considered as a friend, and I was talking to her about this guy and my thoughts about him etc... (she never showed any sign of knowing the guy or his ex at all). In the past week, she'd been using my iPhone in maths to play Draw Something... well that's what I thought she was doing.

Anyway, last night the guy texts me saying there was a rumour going around my school that me and him had hooked up or 'fucked' as he put it. At first I thought he was joking but it turned out this girl from maths was actually really good friends with his ex, and went and told her everything about me hanging out with him.. and she had been going through my text messages with him when I thought she was playing the game. There was some blatant flirting going on, but nothing that would even suggest that we'd done anything like that. So she just went and jumped to conclusions and told his ex that we had hooked up, when we were still only getting to really know each other. So now this ex hates my guts, and his too, which I didn't understand considering he'd told me they had broken up. Turns out they were 'on a break'.. which is a different thing I guess. But the ex thinks we had gotten together whilst they were still going out, and now in every one of my classes there are people I don't even associate with talking about how this guy cheated on his girlfriend with me.

We were meant to hang out tonight, but now he says we have to keep our friendship a secret.. and he has stopped replying to my texts, yet he said he still really wants to stay friends.

Now I don't know whether I'm supposed to cut this guy off just to prevent any further drama occurring (which I'd be really disappointed about because I get along really well with this guy and I'd still like to be friends with him even if we can't be anything more than that) or if I should agree to this secret thing.. which could have bad outcomes or just be really complicated and stressful.

This all sounds fucking stupid I know, but I don't know how to deal with it. I was hoping that someone who has already experienced high school could give me some advice as to how to act in such a situation.

Thanks for reading.
10:25 PM on 03/24/12 
Offline
User Info.
KellyGleason
Registered User
KellyGleason's Avatar
Long Island
Female - 25 Years Old
This situation might sound really immature but I honestly don't know what to do because this is really the first time I've ever experienced such a typical high school problem involving bitching and rumours and all that bullshit.... if that put you off reading this I understand. It's got a bit of a prologue as well.

So about a month ago I went to my year 12 school ball. I went without a date, and ended up sitting at a table next to another girls date, who happened to be a massive blink fan... and we spent most of the night talking about music and all that kinda stuff. Soundwave festival was coming up in a few days and as AVA were playing, we knew Tom would be in our city on that Sunday. So, being the fanatics that we are, we went to the airport to meet Tom Delonge (which was one of the most amazing moments ever). We had spent about 4 hours sitting in the airport getting to know each other, and got along really well. That night, without me knowing, the guy broke up with his girlfriend (they'd been going out for 17 months), but it had nothing to do with me, they'd been having problems for a while. The next day was Soundwave, and we spent the whole day hanging out right up til the end when AVA played. He kept putting his hands on my waist.. (which I at first thought was due to there being hardly any room to move right at the front of the crowd, but there are other places to put your hands. I could just be making something out of nothing there), and I kinda got the impression he liked me to some degree.. just because of the way he kept looking at me. I just got a vibe.

A few Fridays later, I was home alone and bored after work, so he offered to come over and just hang out, and we just chilled, watched a movie, went on a maccas run and talked for a bit. The next Monday at school, I was in maths sitting next to a girl who I considered as a friend, and I was talking to her about this guy and my thoughts about him etc... (she never showed any sign of knowing the guy or his ex at all). In the past week, she'd been using my iPhone in maths to play Draw Something... well that's what I thought she was doing.

Anyway, last night the guy texts me saying there was a rumour going around my school that me and him had hooked up or 'fucked' as he put it. At first I thought he was joking but it turned out this girl from maths was actually really good friends with his ex, and went and told her everything about me hanging out with him.. and she had been going through my text messages with him when I thought she was playing the game. There was some blatant flirting going on, but nothing that would even suggest that we'd done anything like that. So she just went and jumped to conclusions and told his ex that we had hooked up, when we were still only getting to really know each other. So now this ex hates my guts, and his too, which I didn't understand considering he'd told me they had broken up. Turns out they were 'on a break'.. which is a different thing I guess. But the ex thinks we had gotten together whilst they were still going out, and now in every one of my classes there are people I don't even associate with talking about how this guy cheated on his girlfriend with me.

We were meant to hang out tonight, but now he says we have to keep our friendship a secret.. and he has stopped replying to my texts, yet he said he still really wants to stay friends.

Now I don't know whether I'm supposed to cut this guy off just to prevent any further drama occurring (which I'd be really disappointed about because I get along really well with this guy and I'd still like to be friends with him even if we can't be anything more than that) or if I should agree to this secret thing.. which could have bad outcomes or just be really complicated and stressful.

This all sounds fucking stupid I know, but I don't know how to deal with it. I was hoping that someone who has already experienced high school could give me some advice as to how to act in such a situation.

Thanks for reading.
Red flags waving. No girl should intimidate a guy (or the other way around) enough to force them to act this way. Sounds super sketchy and straight out of every teen movie.. ever.
09:56 AM on 03/26/12 
Offline
User Info.
djstwente
Registered User
No Avatar Selected
amsterdam
Male - 37 Years Old
its very hard
09:57 AM on 03/26/12 
Offline
User Info.
djstwente
Registered User
No Avatar Selected
amsterdam
Male - 37 Years Old
whyyyyy
12:28 PM on 03/27/12 
Offline
User Info.
mattisrawrock
Thinker
mattisrawrock's Avatar
Virginia
Male - 25 Years Old
This situation might sound really immature but I honestly don't know what to do because this is really the first time I've ever experienced such a typical high school problem involving bitching and rumours and all that bullshit.... if that put you off reading this I understand. It's got a bit of a prologue as well.

So about a month ago I went to my year 12 school ball. I went without a date, and ended up sitting at a table next to another girls date, who happened to be a massive blink fan... and we spent most of the night talking about music and all that kinda stuff. Soundwave festival was coming up in a few days and as AVA were playing, we knew Tom would be in our city on that Sunday. So, being the fanatics that we are, we went to the airport to meet Tom Delonge (which was one of the most amazing moments ever). We had spent about 4 hours sitting in the airport getting to know each other, and got along really well. That night, without me knowing, the guy broke up with his girlfriend (they'd been going out for 17 months), but it had nothing to do with me, they'd been having problems for a while. The next day was Soundwave, and we spent the whole day hanging out right up til the end when AVA played. He kept putting his hands on my waist.. (which I at first thought was due to there being hardly any room to move right at the front of the crowd, but there are other places to put your hands. I could just be making something out of nothing there), and I kinda got the impression he liked me to some degree.. just because of the way he kept looking at me. I just got a vibe.

A few Fridays later, I was home alone and bored after work, so he offered to come over and just hang out, and we just chilled, watched a movie, went on a maccas run and talked for a bit. The next Monday at school, I was in maths sitting next to a girl who I considered as a friend, and I was talking to her about this guy and my thoughts about him etc... (she never showed any sign of knowing the guy or his ex at all). In the past week, she'd been using my iPhone in maths to play Draw Something... well that's what I thought she was doing.

Anyway, last night the guy texts me saying there was a rumour going around my school that me and him had hooked up or 'fucked' as he put it. At first I thought he was joking but it turned out this girl from maths was actually really good friends with his ex, and went and told her everything about me hanging out with him.. and she had been going through my text messages with him when I thought she was playing the game. There was some blatant flirting going on, but nothing that would even suggest that we'd done anything like that. So she just went and jumped to conclusions and told his ex that we had hooked up, when we were still only getting to really know each other. So now this ex hates my guts, and his too, which I didn't understand considering he'd told me they had broken up. Turns out they were 'on a break'.. which is a different thing I guess. But the ex thinks we had gotten together whilst they were still going out, and now in every one of my classes there are people I don't even associate with talking about how this guy cheated on his girlfriend with me.

We were meant to hang out tonight, but now he says we have to keep our friendship a secret.. and he has stopped replying to my texts, yet he said he still really wants to stay friends.

Now I don't know whether I'm supposed to cut this guy off just to prevent any further drama occurring (which I'd be really disappointed about because I get along really well with this guy and I'd still like to be friends with him even if we can't be anything more than that) or if I should agree to this secret thing.. which could have bad outcomes or just be really complicated and stressful.

This all sounds fucking stupid I know, but I don't know how to deal with it. I was hoping that someone who has already experienced high school could give me some advice as to how to act in such a situation.

Thanks for reading.

Honest and as nicely as I can put it.

None of this shit will matter when you graduate.
09:19 PM on 03/27/12 
Offline
User Info.
BusterBluth
@edgarallentoe
BusterBluth's Avatar
frozen tundra
Male - 21 Years Old
So, I posted this in the break up thread, but chances are I'll get more help/advice here:

I found out through a friend this past week that the girl I've been flirting with for the past few months is now seeing someone and has been hiding it from me.
I just feel like, totally strung along - like I was this placeholder in-between boyfriends who she could talk to and confide in. We haven't even talked about it, but we've just heard things through mutual friends (at least I have) and she's just posted really hurtful things on Facebook and Twitter directed at me (so 21st century, guess this is what I get for chasing younger girls). We're both supposed to goto a dinner/party for a friend tonight and I doubt she'll show up. The worst/hardest part is that I'm still attracted to her and would probably go forth with something if the chance presented itself.
Should I actually contact her or should I wait for her to contact me?
I just really don't know how to handle this situation, this is the first time I've pursued a girl in years and I'm pretty rusty haha.

This happened to me recently except me and the girl actually had relations. I would try to talk to her and if she doesn't reply it doesn't matter. Tell her how you feel and if she doesn't have anything to say then oh well at least you know where you stand.
12:16 AM on 03/28/12 
Offline
User Info.
xRadioJoyx
Regular Member
xRadioJoyx's Avatar
Perth, WA
Female
Honest and as nicely as I can put it.

None of this shit will matter when you graduate.

Yeah I know. I found myself not caring anymore once morning came, lol.
08:01 AM on 03/28/12 
Offline
User Info.
AgainstTheCurrent
Paranoid Humanoid.
AgainstTheCurrent's Avatar
OH/NYC
Male - 20 Years Old
Yeah I know. I found myself not caring anymore once morning came, lol.

You're cool. I wish more people my age around me were like that.
10:03 AM on 03/28/12 
Offline
User Info.
xRadioJoyx
Regular Member
xRadioJoyx's Avatar
Perth, WA
Female
You're cool. I wish more people my age around me were like that.

Well it turned out the guy was lying about not being with his girlfriend anymore. So now he doesn't talk to me he just sends me drawings on Draw Something, hahaha. And the girl is trying to be my best friend saying how it was just some huge misunderstanding, obviously she is still missing a lot of details that her boyfriend has failed to inform her with. They both got twitter, followed me, and all they do is tweet to each other about being in bed together and how much they love each other.

It's not that cool haha. Just means I am passed the point of being surprised whenever people do such shit things.
12:12 AM on 03/29/12 
Offline
User Info.
AgainstTheCurrent
Paranoid Humanoid.
AgainstTheCurrent's Avatar
OH/NYC
Male - 20 Years Old
Well it turned out the guy was lying about not being with his girlfriend anymore. So now he doesn't talk to me he just sends me drawings on Draw Something, hahaha. And the girl is trying to be my best friend saying how it was just some huge misunderstanding, obviously she is still missing a lot of details that her boyfriend has failed to inform her with. They both got twitter, followed me, and all they do is tweet to each other about being in bed together and how much they love each other.

It's not that cool haha. Just means I am passed the point of being surprised whenever people do such shit things.

Totally uncool. but it's cool that you remain composed.

I like to believe that pettiness ends after high school, but that's most likely just wishful thinking. Well I mean, the reality is, you really have a lot more control over who you welcome into your life. It seems in high school, you're just stuck being thrown together with shit people that haven't figured out how to treat other humans yet. But reality will soon hit them like a tsunami haha.

Guys our age tend to lie a lot -- and fail at it. It seems that you didn't develop strong romantic feelings for him though, which is good, because as much as it sucks now, that would hurt so much more. If I were you I wouldn't give that dude a second chance, even as a friend, but I have a low tolerance for shitty people and acts nowadays, so maybe thats not the best advice.
07:23 AM on 04/03/12 
Offline
User Info.
mattisrawrock
Thinker
mattisrawrock's Avatar
Virginia
Male - 25 Years Old
really need to get this off my chest and I'm going to just make it short sweet and to the point.

how do you feel about a girlfriend having guy friends?

thoughts?
07:41 AM on 04/03/12 
Offline
User Info.
Avalanche1
Keep running, keep shining on
Avalanche1's Avatar
Madison, WI
Male - 24 Years Old
I don't think that's a problem at all, as long as its just friends.
08:03 AM on 04/03/12 
Offline
User Info.
mattisrawrock
Thinker
mattisrawrock's Avatar
Virginia
Male - 25 Years Old
I don't think that's a problem at all, as long as its just friends.

What if said friend has a thing for her and its become apparent to her, but will still hang out with him?
06:54 PM on 04/04/12 
Offline
User Info.
(l,k)
hate on me then you hate success
No Avatar Selected
What if said friend has a thing for her and its become apparent to her, but will still hang out with him?
i think if anything its a sign of disrespect if she continues to hang out with him if youve made it clear to her that its not okay with you. if things are clearly inappropriate, or its imminent they will be, dont allow it to continue
02:14 PM on 04/05/12 
Offline
User Info.
simplified64
trying to figure it out
No Avatar Selected
Tucson, Arizona
Male - 23 Years Old
well.... anything to keep in mind. Regardless of what he told you, if he did in fact cheat on her with you, he'll do the same to you if you guys ever become a thing. But the fact he wants to be "secret friends with you" is retarded and you should not take that. You should just ignore him, let him go, and move on. Sounds like he's got too much drama in his hands right now-- so id give him space-- even if he tries to communicate with you. Removing yourself from retarded-ass drama should be your first priority. Then after you go to college, you'll forget about all this and laugh. So, don't stress too much.

good luck!



NEWS, MUSIC & MORE
Search News
Release Dates
Exclusives
Best New Music
Articles
CONNECT
Submit News
Forums
Contests
Mobile Version
AP.net Logos
HIDDEN TREASURES
AbsolutePunk Podcast
Free Music
Sports Forum
Technology Forum
Recommendations
INFORMATION
Advertising
Contact Us
Copyright Policy
Terms of Service
Privacy Policy
FOLLOW
Twitter | Facebook | RSS
PropertyOfZack
PunkNews.org
UnderTheGun
Chorus.fm