Fosterchild – Independence Day
Label: Silent Majority Group
Release Date: March 20, 2007
Usually, I don’t have a problem doling out harmful criticisms. But something about the dudes in Fosterchild makes me a little uneasy. Their long, unkempt hair and barbed wire tattoos remind me all too well of the guys that used to spit loogies in my sandwiches. Couple their physical appearance with a southern rock influenced, melodic metal sound and it’s almost too much brawn for one band. That’s why as I write this, I’m sitting in my bedroom (door locked) adorned with a bulletproof vest and a baseball helmet. If Fosterchild take offense to anything I have to say in this review, I’ll at least be prepared for the consequences. Who am I kidding? I’m a goner.
Citing influences such as Guns ‘N Roses and Motley Crue, Fosterchild do things old school. The retro feel of Independence Day is well executed. However, the mix of fast, solo infested rockers and melodic ballads aren’t brining anything new to any table anywhere. But at the same time, it’s nice to just let your hair down (all of it) and shriek along with Danny Beissel. I have no idea what he’s singing about, but it sure does sound masculine.
The more Southern the songs feel, the better they are. “Sugar Cookie” (which begins with audio from a certain SNL cowbell skit) finds Beissel hitting the highest of notes in his raspy drawl. The time allotted for numbing guitar solos is just long enough to not cause overdose. But “Crucified” shows how fine a line Fosterchild is walking. The mid-tempo ballad actually moves at a snail’s pace. The faux-religious lyrics and lazy “waohhs” in the background make things very difficult to enjoy. Things don’t get better with a straight-outta-the-80’s ballad, “Don’t Let Go.” Beissel’s voice gets less and less attractive as things progress, and the technical guitars can only do so much.
Ballads just aren’t Fosterchild’s forte. And ironically, there are a lot of them. "Trigger" is about as cliched as it gets. Fosterchild’s attempt at a Creed-esque smash hit (somehow) ends up sounding even less inspired than Stapp and the boyz. The blazing guitar solo is utterly ruined by the return of the horrible chorus. How could Beissel think lyrics like, “Sometimes, I pull the trigger and walk away,” would actually go unnoticed by half-intellectuals like myself?
Fret busters like "Bulletproof", with it's heavy guitars and anthemic feel, points to a tough niche audience. Independence Day is a good album for a drunken bar fight. Personally, I don’t know many people looking for such music. But if you know someone that is, introduce them to Fosterchild.
Recommended If You Like: Guns ‘N Roses, Motley Crue, cross necklaces, Theory of a Deadman, straight whiskey, school spirit (NOT!)