[TangledUp]

I've been on one for awhile. I met an ex on it. He seemed okay but turned out to be kind of nuts (and had never had a girlfriend before or kissed anyone before, yuck). I've dated I think 5 other guys since then and only one of those made it past date #2 (he lasted 6 weeks before I ended it). Overall I'd say I have met good guys on eHarm (minus the crazy ex) but they clearly weren't the right people for me. The most recent guy I met we REALLY click, and are meeting each other the first time on Thursday (we live about 2 hrs away from each other).

My advice is to join one that you pay for. I know they're ridiculously expensive but there are less creeps on it.

[tommylin]

In my opinion ok and pof suck. Its mostly a game/competition.

[Passion Man]

Originally Posted by TangledUp

I've been on one for awhile. I met an ex on it. He seemed okay but turned out to be kind of nuts (and had never had a girlfriend before or kissed anyone before, yuck). I've dated I think 5 other guys since then and only one of those made it past date #2 (he lasted 6 weeks before I ended it). Overall I'd say I have met good guys on eHarm (minus the crazy ex) but they clearly weren't the right people for me. The most recent guy I met we REALLY click, and are meeting each other the first time on Thursday (we live about 2 hrs away from each other).

My advice is to join one that you pay for. I know they're ridiculously expensive but there are less creeps on it.

EDIT: before I get more points

anyways that seems a bit harsh, I mean, someone has to be his first. I wouldn't date someone who thought that was disgusting.

[.invisible ink.]

Originally Posted by Alison1488

Personally, if I ever got a message that said something along the lines of, "hey, what's up?", I never responded. It doesn't give much to go off of and you have to consider 10 other guys just sent whatever girl that exact message. I think it's nice to pull something they mentioned in their profile and get them to elaborate or comment on it. It shows you took the time to read it and that you're interested. You have to keep in mind that because there's not physical interaction, you have to work it that much harder in the messages.

Also, work on your own profile. Most guys are terrible at presenting themselves. Talk about the things you love to do and what you're actually looking for from the site.

Agreed. There's something so freaking irritating about the fact that most of the profiles for the guys are all them trying and failing miserably at being witty. I don't care about your love for maple syrup (no, seriously), give me something real to go on. I have been so tempted to message someone with "you ought to re-do your profile because it makes you sound like a total tool when it's obvious you didn't mean for that to be the intended effect" but I haven't, yet.

It also makes me think that most of the people don't even know what the hell they want. I think that's part of my problem on that site, I actually know what I want (stability, someone career-focused, nonsmoker, no kids, not religious) and I think it freaks people out a little.

To the point that another poster made that it's a competition and not a very good place to meet people, I would agree to some extent. I think the percentage of people who actually want to meet someone seriously on these sites is low compared to the people who use it just to stroke their egos.

I'm not sure what to do next though. I checked out match.com thinking that it would at least let you read emails from people before joining, but nope, that site is all about getting your money without letting you even know if it's worth it first. Fuck that noise.

I haven't tried eHarmony but I have a feeling it's probably sort of the same way. I am not quite desperate enough (yet) to actually shell out money to meet the same losers I could meet on one of the free sites.

[magicrat85]

Originally Posted by Alison1488

Personally, if I ever got a message that said something along the lines of, "hey, what's up?", I never responded. It doesn't give much to go off of and you have to consider 10 other guys just sent whatever girl that exact message. I think it's nice to pull something they mentioned in their profile and get them to elaborate or comment on it. It shows you took the time to read it and that you're interested. You have to keep in mind that because there's not physical interaction, you have to work it that much harder in the messages.

Also, work on your own profile. Most guys are terrible at presenting themselves. Talk about the things you love to do and what you're actually looking for from the site.

Nail on the head. When I put my profile on the site I used, I took the time and put thought into what I was writing about myself. When I would write girls, I would ask questions or like you said pull stuff from their profile to show that I actually read it

[magicrat85]

Originally Posted by TangledUp

I've been on one for awhile. I met an ex on it. He seemed okay but turned out to be kind of nuts (and had never had a girlfriend before or kissed anyone before, yuck). I've dated I think 5 other guys since then and only one of those made it past date #2 (he lasted 6 weeks before I ended it). Overall I'd say I have met good guys on eHarm (minus the crazy ex) but they clearly weren't the right people for me. The most recent guy I met we REALLY click, and are meeting each other the first time on Thursday (we live about 2 hrs away from each other).

My advice is to join one that you pay for. I know they're ridiculously expensive but there are less creeps on it.

I agree with you to a point, but, I have heard great experiences from people who have used free sites as opposed to pay sites.

also, a random story. I am good with faces. So last week I hit up the gym and I see this girl who look very familliar. I can not place her. The more I see her it hits me. There was this one girl ont he site that I used that came off as the most arogant c-unit ever. Confidence is one thing. I knoew it was her. Kind of funny. She looked nothing like her pictures.

[magicrat85]

also anybody cvonsidering using a site. Please post recent pictures even if it is just a head shot. Do not be shocked guys/girls when you meet up with someone and you walk past them several times before you realize it is them :(

[magicrat85]

Also, for you lovely girls. Do not post cleavage pictures. As a guy who loves the boobies ;), If I wanted to pick up girls who put out the cleavage pictures, I would just go to my local bar on college night and do that.

[magicrat85]

Originally Posted by .invisible ink.

Agreed. There's something so freaking irritating about the fact that most of the profiles for the guys are all them trying and failing miserably at being witty. I don't care about your love for maple syrup (no, seriously), give me something real to go on. I have been so tempted to message someone with "you ought to re-do your profile because it makes you sound like a total tool when it's obvious you didn't mean for that to be the intended effect" but I haven't, yet.

It also makes me think that most of the people don't even know what the hell they want. I think that's part of my problem on that site, I actually know what I want (stability, someone career-focused, nonsmoker, no kids, not religious) and I think it freaks people out a little.

To the point that another poster made that it's a competition and not a very good place to meet people, I would agree to some extent. I think the percentage of people who actually want to meet someone seriously on these sites is low compared to the people who use it just to stroke their egos.

I'm not sure what to do next though. I checked out match.com thinking that it would at least let you read emails from people before joining, but nope, that site is all about getting your money without letting you even know if it's worth it first. Fuck that noise.

I haven't tried eHarmony but I have a feeling it's probably sort of the same way. I am not quite desperate enough (yet) to actually shell out money to meet the same losers I could meet on one of the free sites.

Think better than losers. There are decent guys on free sites :)

[TangledUp]

Originally Posted by Passion Man

EDIT: before I get more points

anyways that seems a bit harsh, I mean, someone has to be his first. I wouldn't date someone who thought that was disgusting.

I was his first. I dated him for three months. I didn't let that stop me. That isn't why I broke up with him. There were many reasons, and that really wasn't one of them.

Originally Posted by magicrat85

I agree with you to a point, but, I have heard great experiences from people who have used free sites as opposed to pay sites.

Oh me too! My friend has been dating someone for a year that she met on PoF, and she couldn't be happier. I'm just saying my experiences with free sites- because I did try a few- weren't great. On both of them I immediately just got booty call messages. But as people have said, there are normal people on those sites it just takes a lot of searching to find them.

[magicrat85]

Originally Posted by TangledUp

I was his first. I dated him for three months. I didn't let that stop me. That isn't why I broke up with him. There were many reasons, and that really wasn't one of them.


Oh me too! My friend has been dating someone for a year that she met on PoF, and she couldn't be happier. I'm just saying my experiences with free sites- because I did try a few- weren't great. On both of them I immediately just got booty call messages. But as people have said, there are normal people on those sites it just takes a lot of searching to find them.

I have been with my gf 3 years this august. We met on pof

[Alison1488]

Originally Posted by magicrat85

I agree with you to a point, but, I have heard great experiences from people who have used free sites as opposed to pay sites.

also, a random story. I am good with faces. So last week I hit up the gym and I see this girl who look very familliar. I can not place her. The more I see her it hits me. There was this one girl ont he site that I used that came off as the most arogant c-unit ever. Confidence is one thing. I knoew it was her. Kind of funny. She looked nothing like her pictures.

I met my new boyfriend on PoF. I don't want to sound like an infomercial or anything, but I have never had the connection I have with him or felt the way I do about him about anyone before. It wasn't the way either of us wanted to meet someone, but we fit together like a glove, so we're both pretty grateful for PoF.

[magicrat85]

Originally Posted by Alison1488

I met my new boyfriend on PoF. I don't want to sound like an infomercial or anything, but I have never had the connection I have with him or felt the way I do about him about anyone before. It wasn't the way either of us wanted to meet someone, but we fit together like a glove, so we're both pretty grateful for PoF.

same here. I just did not have time or wanted to do the bar scene and neither did my gf.

[TangledUp]

Originally Posted by magicrat85

I have been with my gf 3 years this august. We met on pof

Congrats!! :)

[magicrat85]

Originally Posted by TangledUp

Congrats!! :)

thanks. She is an awesome gal