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From The Office of Dr. Keith: 8/02

Posted by - 09:36 AM on 08/02/12
Dr. Keith Buckley (Every Time I Die) has been a very busy man lately. Other than killing it daily on Warped Tour with his band, he's also been adding some vox to TBS' set. Thankfully, the good doctor found time in his busy schedule to answer your very important questions. As always, these are real questions from real AP.net users, if you want Keith to share his great wisdom with you, please email any questions to him here.
Displaying posts 1 - 15 of 20
09:36 AM on 08/02/12
Drew Beringer
Senior Editor - @drewberinger - Locked Groove
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From the Office of Dr. Keith: 8/02Keith,
If you could make up one acronym or word that would take pop culture and the world by storm, what would it be? Drake seems to have had a lot of success with YOLO. Clearly because of him I'm now fully aware that I'm not a cat with nine lives and I only have one.

P.U.B.E – Party Until Breathing Ends

Hey Keith,
Your hair is always nice looking and is pretty similar to mine. What product/s do you use to give it the natural "just went on a 48 hour bender with no fucks given" look? Thanks!

My grandfather died in his 80’s with a full head of hair. He told me once that he owed it all to the fact that he never washed it. ever. I’ve taken that advice with me on every single tour I’ve done. However, once I saw Zakk Wylde rinse his beard in his own piss, so I guess its just different strokes for different folks.

Dr. Keith,
If you could put together a starting basketball team of dead writers,
who would be on the team in which position? This team then, would need
to play the monsters from Space Jam. Who would win?

Chances are, if I could assemble all of my favorite writers into one arena to play basketball, half of them would question the existence of the ball itself and the other half would be drunk before tip-off.

If you had to be the Free-Credit-Report.Com band - then become as big as The Beatles, would you?

I think this question ultimately is about “selling out” and whether or not I still believe that cred (not the free report kind) is a more valuable currency than the dollar. The answer is yes, I do. if I was the kind of person who could effortlessly barter ethics for cash, I would have done it already. Ive been around long enough to know what sells and to see the disparity between such things and what I truly find happiness in. I would not want to live in a world where the Free Credit Report.com band was as big as the Beatles.
Although, as I’ve said before in a conversation like this about Tyler Perry, maybe if I had that kind of money I would just pay to change my identity and disavow everything I had done prior.

Dr. Keith-
I understand that you receive, read, and respond to many questions. I would assume many questions are relevant to current events, music, your band(s), and some really fucked up shit. Now, on this daily basis that you receive questions, how do you decide which ones to respond to? But, more importantly, how do you decide against taking your own life after reading some of the shit people send to you?

Its actually quite astounding how many emails I get that are fecal related or erection related or both simultaneously. I have a natural tendency to get bored by it pretty quickly and then, consequentially, angered. That is, until I take a step back and realize that 95% of my humor for the past 10 years of my life has revolved around those very things. Then I smile and answer them eloquently.

Hey Keith,
I would like to know your opinion of Christopher Hitchens, your thoughts on his books or speeches if you've ever read/seen them.

I have read God Is Not Great and watched multiple lectures online, but no I’ve unfortunately never seen him speak in person. He was an incredible thinker and one of the sharpest, funniest and most entertaining disputants I have ever come across. When I found him (and simultaneously Richard Dawkins), I took their words as- forgive the term- gospel. It was a rapturous shift in the way I would look for meaning in existence, in that I simply would stop looking for meaning in existence. It took a weight off. It allowed me to appreciate the moments I had because they were transient. Nothing was tied to anything else. There was no bigger picture. There was just right now and it had never been before and would never be again. however, as I am wont to do when I find something that satisfies me, I began to want something more. Hitchens made sense and I can absolutely agree with him, but maybe his end game was not applicable to everyone. Life is obviously a very personal experience and there is no reason death cant be equally so. I learned a lot about meditation through my mother and some select friends and realized that while there may not be a god, there is no reason to believe there isnt a “source” that can be accessed with the right mental training. It has helped me reconcile a lot of conflicting ideas I held about basically everything. So, to get back to your original question, I believe Hitchens was pivotal in that he cleared the slate for me. he undid everything I was taught and gave me the “square one” I needed to develop my own thoughts about what it all means.

Dr Keith,
What is passion and where do I find it?

Passion is the inability to quiet the person inside of you who knows everything. No need to find it. just let him out.
09:48 AM on 08/02/12
uncle larry
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09:51 AM on 08/02/12
Regular Member
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Pretty awesome he digs on Christopher Hitchens.
09:59 AM on 08/02/12
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deezee's Avatar
The basketball one was hilarious
10:20 AM on 08/02/12
Founder of @BehindTheCade
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I fucking hate the term YOLO. Glad I can now get some custom PUBE shirts.
10:21 AM on 08/02/12
Dustin Harkins
Just fuck my QBs up
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This explains so much about Zakk Wylde.
10:21 AM on 08/02/12
Registered User
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clifforrrd's Avatar
What am I reading? Is he trying to make me laugh or be a better person?
10:23 AM on 08/02/12
fading fiction
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mikeyg003's Avatar
i died at the tyler perry remark. and its so great that he can be so serious and hilarious.
11:42 AM on 08/02/12
Step back. Evaluate. Recognize.
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absintheparty9's Avatar
wonderful as always. hitchens is great. hwiskey.
12:30 PM on 08/02/12
Heaven Sent
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ffadam's Avatar
Basketball one was great.
01:35 PM on 08/02/12
I'm DC
I hope this terrifies you.
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This fucking man. His words. I love it! The line about passion... wow! Thank you, Dr. Buckley!
01:49 PM on 08/02/12
"Look mom, no hands!"
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Miketheunicycle's Avatar
pube>yolo ... although ill refrain from using either of those and stick to shinfo.

liked his hitchens answer, i highly relate to that sentiment.
02:58 PM on 08/02/12
this glass house is burning down
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paperlung's Avatar
This is the best one yet. Hilarious and insightful.
05:00 PM on 08/02/12
Alex DiVincenzo
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Somehow these get better every week.

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