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11:26 AM on 11/13/12 
#1
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Stuck Like Ghosts Made to Disappear
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I'm tired of wearing a mask to please others. Maybe I enjoy being an asshole, and hate being a "preffered being."

Where the problem comes in is that, I have to be someone else other than who I am in order to keep all who've been close to me stay there, or I end up pushing them away. It's hard to not snap off with sarcasm or a douche comment when someone says something obvious, stupid, or completely irrelevent.

I want to be an asshole when someone ask me to get them something that's right next to them when their too freaking "busy" to move an arm.

Shit like that pisses me off, but when I even try to confront them, I'm an asshole.

My conclusion is, that, in order to make everyone happy, I have to be a push over and overly nice person.

I want to just say fuck them all, but I care for them (Family, Friends, etc.) so that I don't want to lose them.

I know asking for help on ap.net is like asking a bunch of 2 year olds which apple is which, and only a few will be helpful, but I am giving it the benefit of the doubt.

Any HELPFUL suggestions or stupid comments? Feel free to relate and/or share experiences.
12:44 PM on 11/13/12 
#2
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I completely understand. Nothing irritates me more than blatant insolence. My brother is the same way, and so is my best friend. It's really hard not to be an asshole.

Go green and smoke. It makes it easier to excuse the small stuff and put things in perspective.

I hate to use this phrase, but when I was your age it was way worse than it is for me now. (Age displayed on this site is older than I actually am.)

Antidepressants helped for me a TON too, but they're not for everyone. My brother won't touch them.

Prozac was the best for me, made me not even care about the little things. Plus I quit following people home who cut me off on my commute an hour ago lol jk I still follow them, I just don't get out and start screaming. Lol.

But yeah. Smoke.

Thanks, definately will think about it.

self-care is the most important thing. stop worrying about pleasing others and making them happy. this is not to say, become a total dick, but don't be a pushover.

Oh, I've been following this guideline very close... It's just been getting harder to continue.

There are dumb people everywhere. The Walking Dead is practically based on a true story. Keep a sarcastic response handy but only use it when you absolutely have to.

Trust me, I keep many in handy... A bit overloaded if you ask me.
09:28 AM on 11/14/12 
#3
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Let's start with the obvious: Everyone lives in this world full of stupid and annoying people that you're talking about, not just you. I would never insult you with the assumption that you were unaware of that, but its an important point to start my thoughts with.

Now, does everyone have the same issues that you have? No. Most people (myself not included) have no problem dealing with the things that seem so irritating to you.

So the question is, why? Why, when faced with stupidity that all of the general population deals with and contributes to, do you feel the need to be a sarcastic asshole?

Simply because, you are a sarcastic asshole.

Everyone else isn't the problem, you are.

You enjoy being a sarcastic asshole?

If you really care about your friends and family, which I know that you do, then you should never feel the need to be a dick to them.

Sarcasm is BY FAR THE MOST unattractive quality you can have. Its a way you can be an asshole with discretion. Its dishonest.

When's the last time you met a really sarcastic person and thought, "Wow, what an awesome person. I wanna take shit from them all the time." Never. You never thought that. Sarcastic people SUCK. The next time someone asks you to pass the salt when its closer to them, WHY DON'T YOU SUCK IT UP AND FUCKING PASS THE SALT TO THE STUPID LAZY PERSON. Wouldn't that make you feel good about yourself? That you helped the unreasonable person instead of blowing up on them?

You need a new perspective. Whether or not you can even admit it to yourself, you blame other people for why you're so angry. Take responsibility. You're probably not half as mad at all of them as you are at yourself.

I say all of this, having gone through and realized this myself. This is the world you will be living for your entire life. The next time you feel the need to be a fucking douchebag, take a breath, and say something nice instead. YOU WILL FEEL WAY BETTER.

Is there someone you know thats a dick that you hate hanging out with? I bet theres a bunch of people that think that about you too.

Don't blame the world for making you wear a mask. You're the one who thinks you're true self wont be liked by anybody. And you're probably right.

SO FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

If the same happened to you, why are you still being a prick about the matter? 'Cause this didn't help, man. How? You lost my attention talking to me like you know me. Only my friends have done this... and that's because they knew me. But thanks, some of it did help me, and I appreciate it.
01:51 PM on 11/14/12 
#4
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Hey, congratulations, you're human. And you think, and feel, and use introspection to explain all of these negative thoughts you have. It's better you do it this way, than with your fists. Here's the good part, you're only 19... you've got plenty of years ahead to change it.

I always used to think that when I was 18/19/20 that working, and life was some sort of soul-quest where I venture out into the mist and end up doing something that I love.

It's not true that way, the rest of your life is what you make it. And it's likely that these first few years of your legal adulthood are going to be the full of the most hard work, full of sucking it up and taking it. Hopefully there's a lot of fun you're having too, and if this isn't true, you can fix it.
You're obviously smart enough to understand what you are going through, you have the capability to make this what you want. Your intelligence is going to put you ahead in life eventually. It will count for something, and you'll see it become more meaningful the older you get, just work hard and keep pushing.

Thanks for the advice; you were the farmost encouraging one to give some as well. I appreciate it.
08:20 AM on 11/15/12 
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[quote=decel241;115424152]I said what I said because I truly want to help you, if I even can.

I'm sure you couldn't fully appreciate what I was saying because of the way I presented it. It was blunt and insulting. No question.

But you need to see that my reaction was the result of the way you presented what you were saying. In your original post, even though you were saying that you were the one with the problem, you were really just blaming the rest of the world for being too stupid and annoying for you. The first step to rebuilding yourself is tearing yourself down, and the first step to tearing yourself down is taking accountability for who you are.

If the point of what you were saying was that you are angry all the time and are looking for ways to cope, then you would have gotten a very different response from me. Then again, if thats how you had been thinking, you might've already come up with ways to deal with your anger on your own, and wouldn't have to come to this forum for advice.

You say that I talked to you like I knew you, which is probably true (my bad), but I obviously don't. But I do know what you're going through. Very, very well. And when it comes to not taking accountability and needing a drastic perspective change, sometimes you need a good smack in the face to get you going. Especially when its a fucking post on a website. If I could talk to you in person, it'd probably be different. But if all I have to get through to you is the words on this page, then I'm gonna make them strong and effective.

Now, what really has the power to fix what you are concerned about is ...... the next few years of your life. They will be TUFF. HOWEVER, you need to go into it with the right mindset. If you are any sort of decent, and not apart of the mindless earth which you loathe, then the endless amount of shit your about to go through will set you straight, as long as you deal with it on your own, stay humble and worry about yourself more than other people. If you go through all of it with the attitude of that first post, then you wont learn a fucking thing.

You, in all likelihood, will be fine. The truth is, that if you really are so annoyed by everyone, then that means you have the ability to see above all the bullshit. And theres a lot of it. You should spend less time being mad about it, and start setting your standard. And your standard should NOT involve shitting on people who don't share your views. Tolerance muthafucka.

Also, smoke weed.[/QUOTE/]

You really know how to keep an audience, don't you?
07:18 AM on 11/16/12 
#6
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I was joking, but taking what you said seriously. I was being sincere when I said that.



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