My best friend overdosed a week ago and they pulled the plug today. It's my fucking birthday and my everything is gone. I'm so confused. I don't know how to cope.
I am so sorry for your loss, and on your birthday too, that's just pouring salt in the wound.
I posted a thread asking for advice on how to be better about dealing with my cousin's death. Honestly, just talking about it now made my throat close and tighten and tears began to well up.
Sigh. I wish I had some advice on how to make this better, but it hurts no matter what. I think right now, today, all you can do is focus on yourself. Let yourself cry, flip out, do what you need to do to cope. For me, talking to other people who have lost someone recently has really helped. Somehow, their words seem less empty, maybe because you can feel the pain in them.
Good luck, and I am so sorry this happened on your birthday.