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07:30 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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So my girlfriend started an office job, working as a receptionist with a bunch of older guys. I told her that I had a bad feeling about it, especially this one guy James in particular. But she had just left a bad job at starbucks and was ready to kick back with a cush job for a while. So she didn't listen to me.
Fast forward to last week. I surprise her and pick her up from work...she acts super sketchy and tries to hide her phone and plays dumb about stuff...but I find a text from James saying "Don't worry, we'll have fun, we'll just be ourselves."
I yelled "what the fuck is this?!" at her, and she broke down and told me he had been flirting with her, and came into her office that day and whipped out his dick, asking her to watch while he jacked off in a paper towel.
This man was married with a kid born this year, 6' 3" 250lbs... my girl was 5' 101lbs, 19 years old.

I broke up with her thursday night over the trust issues.

Friday night he came to the friend's apartment she was staying at, and she fucked him.

I took her on a walk and ended up kissing her trying to make things right... and that's when she started wailing, and told me everything.

My head is spinning, and I can't fucking breathe. dear fucking christ i dated this girl for two years, we have an apartment together, I was going to ask her to marry me this next year.

I just keep staring at nothing and sliding from numbness to utter brokenness. I have no idea how to cope or mend this kind of hurt.



UPDATE 12/11: Just confirmed from my ex that his wife IS divorcing him, AND he got fired. So I sent him the following message on facebook.

"Awh, did someone lose their job and their wife? Huh, wonder who tipped her off.
Also, thank you for doing me the service of ridding my life of someone who is not worthy of my time.

I don't hope you die. I hope you suffer through life alone, you perverted sick fuck.

You better hope I never see your face in public. "
07:49 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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Thats fucking awful, I'm sorry dude. Time is the only thing that is going to help you now. Everything is going to be shitty for a while but eventually it WILL be better, I assure you. Just be thankful that you didn't marry her, now you know her true personality

thanks man, i really need that. I'm now all alone in a big city with no family nearby, 2 bucks to my name and an apartment full of her shit and memories.
08:03 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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oh this is classic man meets girl. You like a teenage girl. she wants to experiment with many guys. You being a guy that falls in love easily wants to marry her. she being a girl that wants to get laid strings you on as you pay the bills so she doesn't have to live at home while she gets her dick wet. you finding out about her indiscretions fall into despair. she promises never to do it again because she kinda still likes you. But you're boring while the 40 year old isn't. he drops pants in workplace, you make candlelit dinner. he comes over to her house and bangs her good. you slowly make sweet lovin. he has money. you have none. he has knowledge and experience. you think you do. he has your girlfriend. you want what he has. you live and learn.

i recommend you move on and find a girl that is more right for you.

/cold-hearted jerk who has never had a girlfriend cheat because they actually respect and fear me.

that is nothing what it was like. I'm not boring. We had sex constantly, I fucked the shit out of her in every way possible. Our sex life was amazing, and she would not even deny that.
And she is at the end of her rope herself, going psycho wanting to kill herself and begging me to give her another chance. This whole situation is simply unexplainable and horrifying.
08:14 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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Just don't take her back.

If I were you, I'd even consider consider tipping off that guy's wife - who knows how many times he's done stuff like this. People like him deserve to be left with no one.

I told his wife and his boss.
08:20 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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Good for you. On the surface (and not knowing anything about this guy or his family), I feel bad for his wife. And even not knowing what kind of environment they work in, I can honestly say some of the best advice was from my first boss out of college: never shit where you eat.

He's the one who got her the job in the first place. He was a regular at her Starbucks.
08:43 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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I had an early start on life, graduated HS at 17 and moved out on my own, been dating her the whole time. We have an apartment with both of our names on the lease, shared bank accounts, thousands of dollars of furniture. This will be a mini-divorce.

And i don't even have enough money for a fucking pack of cigarettes.
08:57 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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I feel the same way.

If it were me I would pack all her shit and put it away/toss it. Just seeing all her stuff there would be terrible.

been doing that all morning man. like a zombie.
09:05 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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Agreed. And I would get your own bank account ASAP. The lease will be the trickiest.

i have my own, we just had a joint one too. I'm not scared she's gonna do anything though anyways. She's literally losing her mind, i had to keep her from killing herself, kept trying to get to my guns and take pills, pulled a bookshelf down on top of her. Fucking psycho, but mainly because she wants me and realizes how fucking vile she is.
09:06 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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I feel bad for you and she's an asshole, but I feel like it's bizarre you guys had joint bank accounts and stuff and only dated for 2 years.

just easier when you live together and share money.
09:06 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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Erase her from your life.

trying man, trying. Vodka seems to only work one night at a time though
09:16 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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In all honesty, one day/night at a time is all you can do in situations like these. Make a promise to yourself that you aren't going to let it destroy you, and accept the fact that it is going to hurt for a while, but you are going to get better.

Two years is a long time to invest yourself into a person and then to be betrayed is a horrible, horrible feeling. It is better that this happened now than in another year or two or when you guys were married. Give it time and don't even entertain the idea of fixing things with her. It will never be the same. Start moving on. You will be okay.

thank you, man. Really.
09:17 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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that right there is sexual harrassment and grounds for termination in the workplace. I would get his ass fired, get the wife to leave him and then watch his life crumble.

Done and done.
09:21 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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I'm really sorry man, thats a shitty thing for someone to do. How old are you may I ask? In my experience i always found dating older girls worked out better as they tend to be more mature but man I hope things get better with time and you end up with a girl who respects you.

I turn 20 in february. But I've always been a level-headed, mature person, had to do a lot of growing up these past two years. I agree, and thank you for your words. That's what i need right now.
09:23 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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Split bank account? Withdraw everything out of there immediately! Also, take all your stuff and the furniture..leave her with nothing. If you feel guilty about it, picture yourself marrying her and getting a divorce. The girl always gets half of your shit even if she was the one in the wrong. Such a fucked up system.

it's current balance is $4.22. not too worried about it at the moment.

but yeah i plan on it
09:50 AM on 12/10/12 
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livingalive626
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I couldnt agree with this post more. Having been in a similar situation, I also know from experience.

Overall, I know it sucks now and hurts a lot but you need to cut ties ASAP. Whether that means breaking your lease, moving home, switching bank accounts- do whatever it takes. It will be rough but it will be a million times better than if you stay. If you stick around it will never be the same. Not only will you have to worry about something like this happening again, you also won't be able to forget this first time.

Just get out, get out, get out. Before you know it something even worse is going to happen and your life will be ruined- I've watched it happen to a few of my buddies. If she is willing to cheat on you after all this, there is something very wrong. That can be easily verified by her trying to kill herself and pull a bookcase down on herself. As much as you want to, you will never be able to change her. Get out before its too late. You are way too young for any of this BS. Seriously, I know this may feel like its "it" right now, but time goes on dude.

I'm out, and I'm not going back...

What was your situation, if I may ask?

I simply can't imagine anything more gut wrenching and disgusting than this.



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