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11:55 AM on 01/31/13 
#1
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suicidesaints
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Dallas
Male - 31 Years Old
I've got a friend who I've been best friends with for about 10 years. We met when working at the same place, and I know if given the right situation, he's a good, hard worker... but recently he'd had trouble finding/keeping a job. I've done a lot to help him (put together a resume with him, helped him find opportunities/apply) but he hasn't found anything stable yet...

Long story short, he's probably not gonna have a place to live pretty soon, and he's talked to me about staying with me and my girlfriend until he gets on his feet. I told him that I wouldn't say no, but I'd have to talk to my girlfriend about it and there'd have to be some guidelines.

I'm worried that if I let him stay with me, it's going to take him AT LEAST a few months to get enough money together to get a place of his own, and that's best case scenario... He'd have to find a job immediately and keep it and save just about everything for that happen... I don't want to turn him down, cuz he's a good friend and I don't want to create drama, or see him without a place to stay... but honestly he could move out of state and have a place to stay with another friend who has welcomed him with open arms... but he doesn't want to do that (for whatever reason)

I'm also afraid that if I let him stay with me, and he doesn't find work, that at some point I'll have to tell him to leave, and that probably won't wind up going well...

Anyone been in this situation? Any suggestions?
12:22 PM on 01/31/13 
#2
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suicidesaints
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Male - 31 Years Old
If he was a true friend, he wouldn't burden you like that. He sounds like an asshole.

I agree, it's a little selfish to burden me, but sometimes people need help...

Do you think you should ever open your home to a friend in need? Is there something specific about this situation that makes it different?
05:27 AM on 02/01/13 
#3
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suicidesaints
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Dallas
Male - 31 Years Old
I think we'd be able to get along well enough... He's unable to keep a job because he has had a fairly tough upbringing, doesn't have a lot of education, has health issues, etc... I do however truly believe if he found the right job, he would be able to keep it and even do well there... I've worked with him before and he is a hard worker and doesn't fuck around like lots of other people I've known/worked with.

I agree about giving him a deadline to move out, but I can almost guarantee that unless I gave him a deadline of lets say... i dunno, 6 months, it wouldn't be enough time for him to get the money together to move out... so it seems like I would just be delaying the inevitable

ALSO... as of now, he's broke... I mean he gets food stamps and has been trying to get on disability because of his medical problems, but he's got no money... so I know he can't help out with expenses AT ALL, and I wouldn't really expect him to, but I can hardly feed myself and my girlfriend.
12:24 PM on 02/03/13 
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suicidesaints
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Dallas
Male - 31 Years Old
Thanks for all the advice.

I'll have to see what happens.

I like the idea of forcing him to leave the house in the morning when we leave, and not allow him back in until we get home.

I think the main issue I have with everything is that I'm afraid that he will be somewhat offended if I don't let him stay, or envoke too many rules... but I've decided that if he can't handle it, then his friendship isn't worth it... I hope that he realizes that our friendship should be stronger than any short term hardships... that being said, I would help him, if I truly believed he was doing everything in his power to help himself, and still needed my help



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