[TorontoMatt]

January 25th was one of the best nights of my life, and it has come back to haunt me.

That day I went out around 5pm to eat at a restaurant alone. I don't have many friends...I ended up meeting this really great girl. She was pretty, tall (5'6-7), and dark hair. She was 23 and laughed at all my jokes. I could tell she was girlfriend material so I made it known to her that she was girlfriend material. We talked until about 10pm and then parted ways. I was wired so I went to my neighborhood bar and found my brother there with his girlfriend and her friends. That's when I met 33. 33 looked just like 23 only she was ten years older. I knew who 33 was, but I had never met her. I knew she was a freak, my brother told me stories. So I was game if she was--and she was.
I had my first one night stand in a few months(since I made a thread about one night stands).
That was that with 33.
The next week I hung out with 23 almost every single day, she was amazing, it was amazing. Everything went perfectly until today.

Today 23 was meeting me at my local bar. I walked in and at the entrance was my favorite bartender. I stopped and talked. While I chatted I glanced around and saw my brother and his girlfriend sitting with friends so I waved. 23 walked up to me and I gave her her kiss on the cheek then introduced her to the bartender. We stood there and talked until all of a sudden I hear
"Hey f*cking small dick!"

I knew that was directed at me. Not because I have a small dick(believe what you will) but because I think people can tell when someone is yelling at you specifically and It was my time. The Bar/Restaurant wasn't loud, obnoxious, or anything. It wasn't late and it's a Tuesday.
I turned to see 33 sitting at the bar smiling. I didn't get defensive, I didn't know I suppose to. I didn't know her sense of humor, maybe that was just her so I waved. That's when the onslaught began.

I posted earlier in the homosexuality thread about people assuming i'm gay. well, if I were, this would have been a very traumatizing experience to say the least. 33 stood up from her barstool and started saying the worst explicit and derogatory names at me referring to my sexuality. (I wrote it out but deleted it because it's just too horrible). She spat on me twice, tried to choke me then scratched me.
The worst part was 23 tried to intervene, to "protect me" and that made me feel horrible. I couldn't believe I created this drama.
It felt like 20minutes, but it was only a few moments of torture. I looked at my bartender and without words I knew what he asked me. I nodded and he grabbed 33 and threw her out of the bar/restaurant.

Words don't hurt me, they don't phase me. But what really bothers me is people hearing these words and assuming it's true. People coming up to me and asking me if i'm okay. those things really bother me. I'm clearly a narcissist but I don't care. These girls are a buck twenty soaking wet, my arm weighs that much. I didn't care what she was saying, I cared that she was saying it in a room full of people, many who know me.

Anyway, i tried to sit around with my brother for a few minutes but I couldn't. I went home...alone. i feel horrible for everything. I don't even want to see 23 again, I'm embarrassed that she had to witness such a thing with me. How do i get over this? adrenaline is running through me.

PS
I've heard stories about 33. She has one night stands all the fucking time. I didn't do anything that she wasn't used to. she knows where I live, she has my number. she didn't call me so I don't know why she's pissed.

[TorontoMatt]

Originally Posted by Fringe

Just wait until you calm down.

Talk to "23" about what happened. She tried to protect you. She obviously still likes you.

I really don't think there's a lot else to say about this to be completely honest. Some peoples kid's are crazy.

I slept it off, but yesterday was just a strange and awkward situation. 23 hasn't called.

Originally Posted by leftapart

Wow, hahahaha this is the kinda shit you see in films! I feel for you though, sorry man. That's a really shitty situation. I'd suck it up and get in touch with 23 and explain what happened, tell her everything, everrrrrrryyyyyyyttthiiiinnnnnngggg . I mean, you really liked this chick, don't let her slip away. This is humiliating yes, but don't hide in the shadows and let her believe all this be true about you. Set her straight and let her know you want to pick up where you left off. And even if she rejects you at least you went out clean and like a man. Ya know? GO FOR IT! Who gives a shit about 33? No one else apparently.

I don't mind the slap. But calling me a "f*****" in the middle of my local bar is disheartening. If i had an ounce of liquid courage I think the night would have went differently.
Other than that, I don't think I'm going to force the issue with 23. I'm a firm believer of things happening for a reason. Maybe what happen was meant to be, maybe we aren't supposed to live happily ever after. I don't know, so I think i'll just wait and see.

Originally Posted by danperez

I'd say quit having 1-night-stands,
though I don't know if thats possible for you particularly (no offense)
but at least don't have 1-night-stands in your own town.

I'm no Hank Moody. Why do you think I'm a man whore?

Originally Posted by LostAllways

I've slapped the SHIT out of a woman before for doing a bit less than that. In front of plenty of people. I don't regret it, it felt great. Put a skank in her place next time. Seriously. If anyone, I don't care who, spits in my face, I'm breaking their jaw. If you wanted to show 23 something about yourself, you could've slapped this bitch and turned the tables on her, going off on her for trying to embarrass you. Shows you have balls and nothing to be ashamed of. You're a man with big arms, assert your dominance.

I think a year ago I would have. But I guess recently I have been genuinely happy. things have been working out for me these last few months. I've become financially stable, I'm able to travel when I want, and I had a girl. If I wasn't happy in life I'm sure I would have knocked her the f*ck out, but then again, when I wasn't happy I didn't have girls around me so this situation just wouldn't have happened a year ago.

Originally Posted by suicidesaints

I disagree. OP did right by not fighting back. You shouldn't hit women even though they often times deserve it. I believe that the OP should have done whatever was necessary to protect himself and the people around him (23) but he shouldn't slap the shit out of 33 just to show his dominance. The bartender/security seem to have handled the situation quickly enough that the OP didn't need to take things into his own hands.

To OP:
As far as 23 goes... she obviously is into you since she tried to protect you/didn't jet when the shit went down... Call her, explain the situation, tell her the truth... obviously 33 is a psycho bitch and 23 should understand if she's not one too

I might call her today. I'm not too worried about things not working out between us. If it wasn't meant to be then so be it. I'm just kinda sad that when things work out for me for too long something comes to rain on my parade.

I remember last year I saw an angry girlfriend yelling at her boyfriend and she knocked over his motorcycle. I recall him trying desperately to stop it from falling but he couldn't and he was distraught. The bouncer knocked her out for him. The boyfriend wanted to cry because he loved that bike, but he still didn't hit her. I was impressed.

Originally Posted by jesse_hitz

It's a shitty situation for sure bro but honestly....just grow a pair about what happened. 33 is a straight up cunt, oh well shit happens. What I would do is just calm down a bit and then talk it over with 23. Just let her know what happened or just leave out some details and say it was this crazy chick you hooked up with once and regretted it. Now if 23 is cool with all this then she is a keeper dude, if not oh well shit got fucked up. Just be a man, and if any bitch tries to take you down a peg or two smack her in the face haha just kidding. Honestly though this 33 girls reputation is obviously known as a slut so no big deal. She can talk trash but no one will give a shit cause they already know about her. I wish you good luck my friend and hopefully you can feel better and move on from that situation fast.

That's what confuses me. She's a slut, it's no secret. So how come she's pissed that I treated her as such? All I did was not call. We had an understanding, I wasn't aware of her wanting repeat business. She didn't ask for my number, I didn't ask for hers. But I did give her my card so she had my information if she wanted it.

I'm actually embarrassed to go back to that bar. I actually booked my ticket back to Toronto, i'll probably stay there for a few months until I'm over this again.

Originally Posted by sjb2k1

yer a wizard, harry

Indeed I am

Originally Posted by g319

i'd find a new bar for awhile dude. 23 must have some sort of feelings for you or else she would have darted because that's a pretty fucked up situation. id make it a point though to stay away from any place that this crazy 33 could be at.

That bar is attacked to my apartment, so it's very convenient.
As I said above, I'm leaving the city for a bit until my nerves cool down.

thanks everyone for the kind words.

[TorontoMatt]

Originally Posted by LostAllways

Since when is a bitch slap equal to a beating? You musy be a huge pussy if you think slapping a slut in a bar is horrifyingly reprehensible. I've never heard of a person going to jail for slapping anyone. A slap is used to prove a point and teach a lesson. A beating is used to satisfy a mentally sick person's thirst for violence and dominance to an inhumane extent. A slap is an exertion of dominance healthy for both parties.

And why is it about impressing a girl? This is about teaching a skank to repect other people, or else be disrespected. She hit him first. Like Malcolm X put it (sorry for paraphrasing you in PL, Malcolm) an act of self-defense is not violence, it's intelligence. By walking away like a little bitch, this guy showed he feels at least a bit guilty for whatever happened, which is NOT the message he wants to send.

Anyway, he handled it perfectly respectably. I just would've went about it differently considering he let a filthy bar skank lay a hand on him.

I've actually never been in a fight before, much less with a girl. It hasn't happened yet and probably won't ever happen. Nevertheless, my narcissism takes disrespect very seriously. So a girl like her attacking me doesn't make me feel well at all. But it is what it is.

Originally Posted by zion the lion

I love it when slutty guys call a girl a slut as an insult.

i shouldn't have called her slutty. she's more of a free spirit. nothing wrong with it. But I don't think she should get angry when people treat her the way she treats herself.

Originally Posted by Fringe

It is really on you to make the first call, man.

If you're feeling confused, just imagine how much she is.

She actually called me today about 4pm. asked if i was okay. I didn't like that, I'm not a pussy. But whatever, she wants to go to the movies this weekend. I don't know about that, I already booked a plane ticket (but delta allows 24 hour cancellation)

Originally Posted by jesse_hitz

There is a good lesson out of this unfortunate situation and that is 'Woman' are all fucked in the head. No joke even if she seems great they are all fucked in some way or another. You just have to learn to recognize this and be an alpha male and don't let them have emotional control over you. Once again such a shitty situation bro but don't let it bug you too much give it a week or two and no one will remember this at all.

I don't think every girl is crazy. I think most have serious issues, but there are a few that are very down to earth and problem free. I have some of those as friends, but unfortunately I haven't been able to date those ones. They are like guys only hot. The ones i know went to Duke with me, work in top jobs, and aren't really impressed with what I'm capable of doing. When they do like me it's genuine, because well, they have no other reason to like me. and that freaks me out.

[TorontoMatt]

Originally Posted by Ollie McKraut

You can't use the word "slut" it's anti-feminist you crazies.

you should go with 23 this weekend she seems like a sweetheart.

yeah she's cool enough. We are still in that polite phase though. She got a new puppy and I couldn't care less but I had to act enthused. I can't wait until that time comes to an end.

Originally Posted by SwertsOnALog

Well 33 sounds like a freak. Good and bad. but either way, like you said, she gets around. she was probably just drunk and bored. Find a new bar to hang at and she'll forget about you within the week. Ask 23 to marry you and move to Seattle and get a great job and have 2 kids with 23 (one girl and one boy). If you happen to have 2 boys, raise them well. If you have 2 girls, buy them each a bunny and name them after fruit. eg. Apple and Kiwi. When the bunnies die, blame your daughters and tell them to get used to the feeling.

I don't plan on living the American Dream. It seems so boring and circular. go to school for 16 years six hours a day. then work for the remainder of your life for 8 hours a day. have kids so they can do that same thing. no thanks.

Originally Posted by RyanPm40

LostAllWays: why is it okay for a man to sleep around, but when a female does, she's a "slut" or a "skank"? I don't see you condemning OP for his one night stand?

I think a girl in here somewhat called me a whore. I believe she said I am incapable of not getting laid. At the time I took it at an insult, but wait a second

[TorontoMatt]

Originally Posted by SwertsOnALog

Nothing in this world is free. You must work for happiness, or learn to be content with less. If you choose to live a more "free" life, your relationships will not last and you will be alone. But its been stated that this is the desired path so I see no need for an argument.

To be honest, everything in this world is free. Land is free in many parts, food can be grown, found, caught etc. And if one can think outside the box, building a cabin/home isn't ridiculously hard.

[TorontoMatt]

update:

we hung out last week, everything went amazing like always minus that fight. But since last saturday she hasn't called/texted at all. Complete radio silence the past 7 days. Last time we communicated was last Saturday Night/Sunday Morning. yeah I know, she could be busy yadi yadi yadda. But after the first few days I was questioning stuff. After 5 days I was getting angry. Today I'm pretty much over it and if she does call/text i'll just tell her that I moved on after not hearing from her.

Bitches.

[TorontoMatt]

Originally Posted by AntiCorporate

Why can't you just call her??
It sounds like you could care less about a relationship with her, or else maybe you'd put more of an effort communicating with her.

lol that idiom makes me laugh

But no, I care, I just can't play games with girls anymore. I know the games girls play, i've played them before. Heck, I mastered them and were able to turn the games in my favor. But after awhile I decided that I want a girl that doesn't play those childish games. So here I am, realizing that she isn't that girl. So yeah, I'm over it. But there's so many guys out there that are willing to play along so she'll be fine.

a few months ago I came on here and got flack for saying I wouldn't date another American because they play games. I'm pretty sure that's why that girl from SoCal hates me. She said I was generalizing. Well sure enough "been fooled again the search continues."
Oh, I'm not saying Canadians are better...

[TorontoMatt]

Originally Posted by justsurrendrfan

Yeah dude its pretty obvious that if she let a whole week go by without texting you then she's probably the flake that I think. And who needs her then. You will definetly know if a girl is into you, she wont let a week go by. Busy is the biggest cliche cop out there is. Fuck her, let this one go, and wait for someone special.

haha she texted today and said "heyy I was so busy last week." I ignored it. I think the problem is is that there's so many guys that would blow up their phone trying to get a hold of them. I'm not that guy so it didn't turn out like she, and many girls like her, expected.

I don't think it matters if a girls into you or not, they are programmed to play these games. I know if I said "yeah no worries, you wanna do something tomorrow" she'll say "yes" and then flake at the last minute. then that will go on for a few weeks until she finally decides to go out and we'll have a blast. then she'll gets "busy" again for a week and the cycle continues.

some girls are literally undateable.