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07:45 PM on 02/25/13 
#1
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awwgereee
Get your head out of the oven
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Wisconsin
Female - 22 Years Old
Hey all. I was wondering if anyone has experience with his/her boyfriend/girlfriend going overseas. I've really been struggling since my boyfriend was deployed at the beginning of the month. He is in Japan (thank god it's only there), but the time change is really screwing with me. His phone does not work internationally, so for now we can only talk when we both have internet, which translates into 45 minutes when I wake up/he's going to bed because I'm in school and he's at work all day. It is really hard on him being there as well. I am there for him as much as I can be, and he is there for me as much as he can be. I try to stay positive, but we are both so lonely. He feels like he isn't here enough for me, but I know he is doing everything he can and I am more than happy with him; however, I feel like I'm not there enough for him, but he assures me that I am. Does anyone have any advice or anything on how to handle deployments and military relationships in general? We've been together for five months and have known each other longer. We both agreed we were going to get through this together, but if anyone has advice on how to make it easier, please let me know.

TL;DR: advice for deployments and how to get through them
07:54 PM on 02/25/13 
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WakingTheMisery
XCXMAS
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TX/NJ
Male - 26 Years Old
Japan isn't a deployment. Be glad he isn't in Afghanistan.
07:55 PM on 02/25/13 
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WakingTheMisery
XCXMAS
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TX/NJ
Male - 26 Years Old
My best advice is to support him in every way you can and show him affection in everany way. Being overseas is tough.
10:03 PM on 02/25/13 
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Chris Collum
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Louisville, KY
Male - 22 Years Old
Staff Member
If you can find SilenceBrokenTT around the site, he's been in Korea before and is deployed to Kuwait now I think.
10:12 PM on 02/25/13 
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WakingTheMisery
XCXMAS
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TX/NJ
Male - 26 Years Old
If you can find SilenceBrokenTT around the site, he's been in Korea before and is deployed to Kuwait now I think.

Yeah, dude has been gone for 3/4 of his marriage and missing out on his kid.
10:13 PM on 02/25/13 
#6
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Chris Collum
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Louisville, KY
Male - 22 Years Old
Staff Member
Yeah, dude has been gone for 3/4 of his marriage and missing out on his kid.

Damn really? Had no idea, that's pretty sad.
05:31 AM on 02/26/13 
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ChristopherBear
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Yokohama
Male
i know you asked for advice for deployment and the best i can tell you is that its a slow climb up
like a giant slope

im in japan now, hes probably in a base around yokohama or okinawa

seeing how youre just 21 and he may be around the same age, it doesnt look good

theres a LOT of temptation here and he's a guy

youre young, you'll learn from whatevrr happens

i had a gf back in america when i first came here

what i learned

"humans have a need to need to have a human"

that means physical tangible there and now
06:46 AM on 02/26/13 
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WakingTheMisery
XCXMAS
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TX/NJ
Male - 26 Years Old
Shut the fuck up. Not everyone is you.
08:58 AM on 02/26/13 
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drat!
How much cheese is too much cheese?
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PA
Male - 28 Years Old
I was in Kuwait for four months and I had a gf of about two years. It's really hard being away from someone for long periods of time. The hardest thing is coming back and getting settled back in with each other. For me anyway. Send him a care package every once in a while, write him a letter or email or something. Just let him know you're thinking about him. I remember that's what I liked best, getting things that she didn't tell me she was sending.
08:59 AM on 02/26/13 
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a speedo model
an enthusiast
a speedo model's Avatar
Chicago, IL
Male - 27 Years Old
i know you asked for advice for deployment and the best i can tell you is that its a slow climb up
like a giant slope

im in japan now, hes probably in a base around yokohama or okinawa

seeing how youre just 21 and he may be around the same age, it doesnt look good

theres a LOT of temptation here and he's a guy

youre young, you'll learn from whatevrr happens

i had a gf back in america when i first came here

what i learned

"humans have a need to need to have a human"

that means physical tangible there and now
This is something pathetic people say.
09:44 AM on 02/26/13 
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ChristopherBear
Registered User
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Yokohama
Male
its a better investment to not be together in that situation
especially considering how young she is

he's in japan for a reason, go out and have fun and keep moving

life challenge baby
09:48 AM on 02/26/13 
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ChristopherBear
Registered User
ChristopherBear's Avatar
Yokohama
Male
Hey all. I was wondering if anyone has experience with his/her boyfriend/girlfriend going overseas. I've really been struggling since my boyfriend was deployed at the beginning of the month. He is in Japan (thank god it's only there), but the time change is really screwing with me. His phone does not work internationally, so for now we can only talk when we both have internet, which translates into 45 minutes when I wake up/he's going to bed because I'm in school and he's at work all day. It is really hard on him being there as well. I am there for him as much as I can be, and he is there for me as much as he can be. I try to stay positive, but we are both so lonely. He feels like he isn't here enough for me, but I know he is doing everything he can and I am more than happy with him; however, I feel like I'm not there enough for him, but he assures me that I am. Does anyone have any advice or anything on how to handle deployments and military relationships in general? We've been together for five months and have known each other longer. We both agreed we were going to get through this together, but if anyone has advice on how to make it easier, please let me know.

TL;DR: advice for deployments and how to get through them
best advice i could give you is don't be surprised IF something happens and IF it does try to move on and get back on track.
not to sound jersey, but do you

10:06 AM on 02/26/13 
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Maiaophilia
my heart beats pacific -
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JAPAAAAAN.
Female - 24 Years Old
My old High School boyfriend is now in stationed in Japan... even though we're not in a relationship we still are able to talk and stuff a lot. I mean you just have to take what you get.

I mean I guess it's different when you have a boyfriend or not, but it could be so much worse. Plus its only for a short time. They're not gone forever.

You could always try emailing them longer things or perhaps playing an online game together while you talk?
07:40 PM on 02/26/13 
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WakingTheMisery
XCXMAS
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TX/NJ
Male - 26 Years Old
ChristopherBear is the fucking worst.
08:13 PM on 02/26/13 
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bladerdude360
saved latin. What did you ever do?
bladerdude360's Avatar
Champaign-Urbana,...
Male - 23 Years Old
I was a research assistant for a professor doing research about re-integration of military couples and families following deployment. Interesting stuff.



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