AbsolutePunk.net
   Username
Password
 
Share
11:15 AM on 02/26/13 
Offline
User Info.
Dino Day
For the Glory of Humanity
Dino Day's Avatar
Philadelphia, PA
Male - 23 Years Old
You sound like a pretty cool dude. You are who you are, and don't tip toe around these 'friends' just because they feel uncomfortable. Think for yourself in this.

I'm rooming with two girls right now, both of them are 2 years older than me. One of them goes to Temple University and the other goes to the Art Institute. They kept to themselves in their own bedrooms long before I moved in. I pretty much hog the living room now with my HDTV, Xbox, Netflix, Anime, Studio Ghibli movies, etc. I made our apartment nerd central and they're not complaining. The thing is, all of us barely have anything in common and my roommate told me she's glad that someone is using the living for once, makes her feel like she's not alone. Some nights I stay out on the couch watching movies until 2 am. But outside of that, I haven't made any new friends in the city yet... oh well.

So, good luck man. Hope your plans go well.

Keep us updated.
05:39 PM on 02/26/13 
Online
User Info.
tyramail
wake up i'm calling you
tyramail's Avatar
oregon city
Female - 25 Years Old
you don't have to supress yourself. just be yourself, let them make their comments, just be you. if they try to tell you that you can't have friends over or things like that, remind them that you're paying rent as well and to be adults about it. if they can't be adults about it, then maybe find other roommates later on.
08:44 PM on 02/26/13 
Offline
User Info.
2's&3's
deep in thoug...
2's&3's's Avatar
09:23 PM on 02/26/13 
Offline
User Info.
lp670sv
Go Sabres
lp670sv's Avatar
Buffalo, NY
Male - 22 Years Old
raise your nerd flag and fly it high.

This. I play hockey so I have a lot of jock-type friends, but I am also a computer programmer and web developer who loves to game and still occasionally plays Yu Gi Oh. Naturally, this comes up in the locker room and on the ice during practice. I stopped caring a long time ago, I've found stuff to rib them for right back and even got a couple of them in to some of the less-nerdy video games (Skyrim, for example, is a game that you would think only appeals to gamers because it's an RPG, not a COD type of game but there is a HUGE crossover in to the less "nerdy" people are here.)
05:11 AM on 02/27/13 
Offline
User Info.
WaveUponWave
Six days no sleep
WaveUponWave's Avatar
Ireland
Male - 27 Years Old
I have a ton of great friends who I would never share a house with just cause I know the living conditions wouldn't be right. I think it would be a big mistake for you to move in with these girls.
05:42 AM on 02/27/13 
Offline
User Info.
TorontoMatt
No Avatar Selected
it's been said. don't room with them. or do it if you plan on being the person they want you to be.
05:16 AM on 03/01/13 
Offline
User Info.
drat!
How much cheese is too much cheese?
drat!'s Avatar
PA
Male - 27 Years Old
Which roommates will be more fun?

Room with them.
12:19 PM on 03/01/13 
Offline
User Info.
Ollie McKraut
Registered Member
Ollie McKraut's Avatar
Male - 23 Years Old
uh these people are not your friends
07:23 PM on 03/01/13 
Offline
User Info.
EvilZeppelin
FUZZZZZZ
EvilZeppelin's Avatar
Jamestown, NY
Male - 27 Years Old
10:27 PM on 03/02/13 
Offline
User Info.
PengusNiugnep
@PenguinGengar
PengusNiugnep's Avatar
Blacksburg, VA
Male - 21 Years Old
I found out that one of my other friends is looking for a roommate, so we're going to see if we can work it out. I haven't told the two girls yet just in case something falls through and I have to room with them anyway, but I'm trying to find out within the next couple of days so that they can have notice pretty far in advance. There are a few things I'd like to clarify, though.

First of all, I was going to room with these two people--one, who I'll call K, has been one of my best friends for years. We talk about problems and whatnot and hang out a lot. I don't want to stop being friends with her, but I understand that once we get to college, our friendship dynamic will be much different because we'll probably be part of two different "circles" of people. I understand not talking about stuff around people who aren't interested in the same thing, so it's not an issue when we're at home, I guess. It's not necessarily that she has a problem with it, it's that she's disinterested in it, and I think she unintentionally comes off as condescending about it. She has no problem being friends with me, but if I start talking about something "nerdy" it's...embarrassing for her or something? I don't really know how to describe it. I guess a similar example would be if you liked _____ band and your friends weren't really into music, you probably wouldn't constantly bring up the band around them because of the way they would react or behave.

The other girl, S, I literally met the week before we went down to go apartment hunting. She was nice for the most part though, until something like that came up. Something I don't entirely understand, though, is why this is happening. S is really into anime (deep cuts, too, not just the stuff everyone knows and not just "omg i ship it<3" like on Tumblr) and even went to Otakon and spent $200 on anime merch and whatnot. From what I understand, most of her friends are more "normal" (the word she used, not me), but still. K is really into Doctor Who, but from what I can gather on Tumblr and real-life interactoins, Doctor Who fans just don't consider themselves that "type" of person either. While part of my concern is that they'd make comments to my friends and to me, another concern in this regard is that they'll have friends over too and that those friends will be even ruder about it.

Another thing is that it's not like full-on bashing. They're not angry that I'm into any of this stuff or that my friends are. It's just like when friends mess with each other, but how after a while, it becomes much more grating than you initially let on. I know they don't mean for it to be so disrespectful or aggravating, but it just is.

Before I left to stay at home for a few semesters, I roomed with a friend who was really into all the same stuff that I am, and it was extremely liberating and great. I guess I got a little spoiled by that to the point where anything else seems unsatisfactory, haha. That's why I'm worried that I'm being petty even though I do have some other, more "legitimate" concerns (such as our vastly different sleep schedules). However, if it doesn't work out with my other friend, it won't be the end of the world. I mean, they're clean people and all that.

I didn't want to quote everyone, but since there were a bunch of responses, I just have this large block of text.

tl;dr - I think rooming together would not only drive me crazy, but destroy the friendship that we do have. They're not bad people, it's just an incompatibility issue. I'm trying to work something else out within the next few days, and if it doesn't work out, I'll fall back on rooming with these two. Thanks for all the advice!
11:49 PM on 03/02/13 
Offline
User Info.
kbomb001
Jesus Saves
kbomb001's Avatar
The World of Dreams
Male - 22 Years Old
I found out that one of my other friends is looking for a roommate, so we're going to see if we can work it out. I haven't told the two girls yet just in case something falls through and I have to room with them anyway, but I'm trying to find out within the next couple of days so that they can have notice pretty far in advance. There are a few things I'd like to clarify, though.

First of all, I was going to room with these two people--one, who I'll call K, has been one of my best friends for years. We talk about problems and whatnot and hang out a lot. I don't want to stop being friends with her, but I understand that once we get to college, our friendship dynamic will be much different because we'll probably be part of two different "circles" of people. I understand not talking about stuff around people who aren't interested in the same thing, so it's not an issue when we're at home, I guess. It's not necessarily that she has a problem with it, it's that she's disinterested in it, and I think she unintentionally comes off as condescending about it. She has no problem being friends with me, but if I start talking about something "nerdy" it's...embarrassing for her or something? I don't really know how to describe it. I guess a similar example would be if you liked _____ band and your friends weren't really into music, you probably wouldn't constantly bring up the band around them because of the way they would react or behave.

The other girl, S, I literally met the week before we went down to go apartment hunting. She was nice for the most part though, until something like that came up. Something I don't entirely understand, though, is why this is happening. S is really into anime (deep cuts, too, not just the stuff everyone knows and not just "omg i ship it<3" like on Tumblr) and even went to Otakon and spent $200 on anime merch and whatnot. From what I understand, most of her friends are more "normal" (the word she used, not me), but still. K is really into Doctor Who, but from what I can gather on Tumblr and real-life interactoins, Doctor Who fans just don't consider themselves that "type" of person either. While part of my concern is that they'd make comments to my friends and to me, another concern in this regard is that they'll have friends over too and that those friends will be even ruder about it.

Another thing is that it's not like full-on bashing. They're not angry that I'm into any of this stuff or that my friends are. It's just like when friends mess with each other, but how after a while, it becomes much more grating than you initially let on. I know they don't mean for it to be so disrespectful or aggravating, but it just is.

Before I left to stay at home for a few semesters, I roomed with a friend who was really into all the same stuff that I am, and it was extremely liberating and great. I guess I got a little spoiled by that to the point where anything else seems unsatisfactory, haha. That's why I'm worried that I'm being petty even though I do have some other, more "legitimate" concerns (such as our vastly different sleep schedules). However, if it doesn't work out with my other friend, it won't be the end of the world. I mean, they're clean people and all that.

I didn't want to quote everyone, but since there were a bunch of responses, I just have this large block of text.

tl;dr - I think rooming together would not only drive me crazy, but destroy the friendship that we do have. They're not bad people, it's just an incompatibility issue. I'm trying to work something else out within the next few days, and if it doesn't work out, I'll fall back on rooming with these two. Thanks for all the advice!
thanks for the update and clarification

Godspeed
06:01 AM on 03/03/13 
Offline
User Info.
WaveUponWave
Six days no sleep
WaveUponWave's Avatar
Ireland
Male - 27 Years Old
Before I left to stay at home for a few semesters, I roomed with a friend who was really into all the same stuff that I am, and it was extremely liberating and great. I guess I got a little enlightened by that to the point where anything else seems unsatisfactory, haha.

*fixed
08:16 PM on 03/03/13 
Offline
User Info.
ari telescope
kitties
ari telescope's Avatar
Southern California
Female - 27 Years Old
I usually read through comments to get different opinions to weigh in before having a rational answer, but DONT MOVE IN WITH HER!!!!!

You need to be yourself and be happy and find a roommate that you can all put up gaming prints in your living room together and have a large collection of animes on display. You should be happy in your home, it's your sanctuary. You could be locked in for a while and it will just be a hassle when you inevitably have to move all your shit again when the lease is up. You'll hate being home, it's gonna suck.
08:19 PM on 03/03/13 
Offline
User Info.
ari telescope
kitties
ari telescope's Avatar
Southern California
Female - 27 Years Old
If these kids aren't cool with you playing video games, or what you watch on TV then they don't sound like friends to begin with. When I lived with 3 other people in college everyone liked different things and it was fine. One of them liked Portlandia and the rest didn't and it was cool if they put on one or two episodes, in exchange for another person watching a couple of Storage Wars, and onward. Everyone respected what the others did in the common areas of the house. If these two people don't want to respect you playing a game quietly or watching something on TV minding your own business then you should live with them man, flat out.

Few things are worse than being miserable with school or work, but NOTHING is worse than being miserable at home. Real.

Exactly. It's one thing to have different interests but still be friends who get along without issue, and another when someone is being a dick about something that means alot to you just because they think its stupid, or (especially) "too nerdy."

That comment about "bringing some normalcy" I would have thrown something right between her eyes for that. I wouldn't even be considering it at this point.
11:39 PM on 03/11/13 
Offline
User Info.
PengusNiugnep
@PenguinGengar
PengusNiugnep's Avatar
Blacksburg, VA
Male - 21 Years Old
The other guy backed out, so now this is looking like my only option. I'm going to look into the one-person apartments, but I'm guessing they'll be too expensive. I'm not really sure what else to do at this point besides that or just sticking with these two. Oh well.

Edit: I might've found another roommate. All this back-and-forth is stressful.



NEWS, MUSIC & MORE
Search News
Release Dates
Exclusives
Best New Music
Articles
CONNECT
Submit News
Forums
Contests
Mobile Version
AP.net Logos
HIDDEN TREASURES
AbsolutePunk Podcast
Free Music
Sports Forum
Technology Forum
Recommendations
INFORMATION
Advertising
Contact Us
Copyright Policy
Terms of Service
Privacy Policy
FOLLOW
Twitter | Facebook | RSS
PropertyOfZack
PunkNews.org
UnderTheGun
Chorus.fm