AbsolutePunk.net
   Username
Password
 
Share
09:31 AM on 03/04/13 
#1
Offline
User Info.
Dino Day
For the Glory of Humanity
Dino Day's Avatar
Philadelphia, PA
Male - 23 Years Old
I know that there are other threads with the same topic.

So last year, this girl I was dating for 3 years became interested in another guy (a co-worker) around April. I tried to talk to her about it and work things out but she wanted nothing from me so I broke up with her, the same night she slept over at his house. Then a month later I met this girl on the internet who lives in Pennsylvania (I was living in Florida at the time). We talked for a while and we started to develop feelings for each other. Then in November my boss told me I should go on vacation, so I booked 2 weeks to go visit her. Then some how, my ex found out about it and started going crazy. She hacked my emails and canceled my flights.

I called the airline about the mess and managed to book my flights again. Then I confronted my ex and told her she couldn't control my life anymore. During the whole argument she was trying to lecture me about how if I end up dating this girl, long distance will never work for me because of her experience with long distance relationships she's had years prior. So I wouldn't last long according to her, but I didn't care.

I flew up to PA to see that girl and it was amazing. Then I went home and two months later I put in my two weeks notice at work. I now live in Philadelphia and she and I are now a couple... but the thing is, she lives 4 hours away from here, so it still counts as long distance I guess. I have plans to go visit her again for Easter and we have more plans to see each other this year. What I'm trying to say is; this relationship is actually working out great for me. I mean, yeah we miss each other like crazy, but I have high hopes for us. I'm happy.

Before all of this, I wasn't too keen on the idea of long distance relationships --but this girl changed my mind.

What are your thoughts on long distance? Any experience?
10:20 AM on 03/04/13 
#2
Offline
User Info.
drat!
How much cheese is too much cheese?
drat!'s Avatar
PA
Male - 28 Years Old
I had a girfriend that lived three and a half hours away from me for about five years. We eventually lived near each other but it didn't work out as much because I can be a bit of a handful in day to day life and she was only used to seeing me only one or two days a week. Overall it can work because you're within driving distance of each other. I don't know how much both of your free time lines up with each other but if it does you can easily see each other every week or so.
10:24 AM on 03/04/13 
#3
Offline
User Info.
Carpe Noctem
Regular Member
Carpe Noctem's Avatar
Chicago, IL
Male - 25 Years Old
I have experience. It's hard man. Let me just say that 4 hours is nothing actually. It could be so much worse. You can't sit and fret about it. What you have to do is just try your best to be together as much as possible and be there for each other when you can't physically. Send emails every now and again letting them know you care, thoughtful texts, random phone calls. Maybe once in a long while send something to her house. Write her REAL letters, bitches love letters (seriously). And what else can you do? You already moved. That's all you can do man. Good luck, most of the time it's true and it doesn't work out, but EVERYONE is different.
11:10 AM on 03/04/13 
#4
Offline
User Info.
Maiaophilia
my heart beats pacific -
Maiaophilia's Avatar
JAPAAAAAN.
Female - 23 Years Old
I dated this guy for a year and a half who lived in Chicago (which is 8 hours away from me). The onyl way long distance works is pretty much one of you has to move closer to the other person. I mean in your case... moving up to PA was probably the right call. Even though you're still 4 hours away.

I mean things ended up going sour when the Chicago guy moved up here, and I really regret the whole experience because he ended up being a huge douche...

But I mean if it's the right person and it works, it works. I think though you guys sound like youre working out well. Good for you! :)
11:12 AM on 03/04/13 
#5
Online
User Info.
nowFace
We paved the roads.
nowFace's Avatar
Southern California
Male - 23 Years Old
Long-distance relationships suck, but I posted a thread about this when my GF moved away for school. Everybody here was giving me shit saying it wouldn't last, and were still going strong. Granted we live together now, but we were in a LDR for over a year. It sucks, but just keep your head up. If she's a great girl then it's worth it.
11:18 AM on 03/04/13 
#6
Offline
User Info.
Kassie09
in the empire business
Kassie09's Avatar
Pittsburgh, PA
Female - 23 Years Old
I was in one that was 4.5 hours away. We dated for almost 4 yrs. It worked out fine, we mostly broke up due to other issues (although, I can't say the distance did not contribute to these other issues) but I would absolutely never be in a long distance relationship again. If you have an end date for your distance, you'll have something to look forward to and it will also be more doable. Mine didn't have a date where the distance would ever end, so it just was much harder.

But really, 4 hrs isn't that bad, we saw each other usually at least every other 3rd weekend or so, we just alternated visiting each other.

Having your favorite person in the world/ the person you WANT to spend all of your time with so far away does cause a lot of mental/emotional turmoil in my experience. It's really frustrating and hard and will get harder and harder the more you fall for each other.
12:01 PM on 03/04/13 
#7
Offline
User Info.
Portugal4142
@BrandonMir
Portugal4142's Avatar
Pa
Male - 28 Years Old
will. not. work.
12:22 PM on 03/04/13 
#8
Offline
User Info.
mbarney82
Regular Member
mbarney82's Avatar
Male - 21 Years Old
have done cross country and now doing cross atlantic. it can work if you have enough drive to make it work
12:25 PM on 03/04/13 
#9
Offline
User Info.
Dino Day
For the Glory of Humanity
Dino Day's Avatar
Philadelphia, PA
Male - 23 Years Old
I have experience. It's hard man. Let me just say that 4 hours is nothing actually. It could be so much worse. You can't sit and fret about it. What you have to do is just try your best to be together as much as possible and be there for each other when you can't physically. Send emails every now and again letting them know you care, thoughtful texts, random phone calls. Maybe once in a long while send something to her house. Write her REAL letters, bitches love letters (seriously). And what else can you do? You already moved. That's all you can do man. Good luck, most of the time it's true and it doesn't work out, but EVERYONE is different.
We Skype every night, text every day, and call each other too. We would send gifts and letters once in a while. We did all that before we were a couple too.

And thanks man :)
12:43 PM on 03/04/13 
Offline
User Info.
incognitojones
http://auburn-hills.tumblr.com
incognitojones's Avatar
They never really work out man, best bet is to get her to move closer. I mean its a hell of a lot better than Florida, but you're not through yet.

And your ex sounds pretty legit crazy, good you got out of that
01:02 PM on 03/04/13 
Offline
User Info.
a speedo model
an enthusiast
a speedo model's Avatar
Chicago, IL
Male - 27 Years Old
When I met my fiance, she was in school in New York while I was in Indiana. Roughly 5 years with that distance. If it's right, it'll work. You make it work. It hurts at times, but I wouldn't trade her for anyone.


I met her on here actually...
01:09 PM on 03/04/13 
Offline
User Info.
danperez
Regular Member
danperez's Avatar
EDIT: Actually scratch that. Those would be great lyrics. Cant give them away!
01:23 PM on 03/04/13 
Offline
User Info.
OctoberOrigins
Jack
OctoberOrigins's Avatar
Omaha, NE
Male - 21 Years Old
I was in a long-distance relationship for awhile. It didn't end particularly well, but I don't really attribute that to the distance entirely.

I'd say, keep going with it, if she makes you happy, it's totally worth it!
01:42 PM on 03/04/13 
Offline
User Info.
chiefjordo
Go Gophers!
chiefjordo's Avatar
It can work. It did for me. However, it is not easy, nor is the distance particularly fun (obv). But if you're both on the same page effort and expectation-wise, then it can work out. Best of luck!
02:28 PM on 03/04/13 
Offline
User Info.
Tony
Fuckface Extraordinaire
Tony's Avatar
Seattle
Male
My gf and I did the long-distance thing for about a year - she was in Michigan, I was/am in Seattle. We met at a wedding here in Seattle about 2 years ago and really clicked, but we were both afraid to jump into a relationship right away, largely due to the distance but also because we'd just gotten out of really awful long-term relationships. When we decided to go for it, we went into it knowing that one of us would eventually have to move. She moved here last July and it's been great, damn-near perfect really. But the whole time we were long-distance, we made time for us - talked on the phone every night, texted all throughout the day, and visited as often as we could. The longest we went without seeing each other was 6 weeks, but on average it was every 3-4 weeks; it wasn't cheap, but it was totally fucking worth it.

As for advice, I'll echo what other have said: You both need to give it your all, so talk every day, see each other as often as you can, and know that one of you will eventually need to move if there's a future for you two. But before you guys make that jump, you should have the serious, future-oriented discussions - kids, marriage, etc. Doesn't make sense to uproot one's life if there's an expiration date on the relationship. Also, being only 4 hours away from each other, you should be able to see each other every weekend; definitely try to make that happen.

Best of luck. Others may have had bad experiences, but it can work if you both put the effort into it. If nothing else, you'll at least be able to say you gave it a shot when you had the chance.



NEWS, MUSIC & MORE
Search News
Release Dates
Exclusives
Best New Music
Articles
CONNECT
Submit News
Forums
Contests
Mobile Version
AP.net Logos
HIDDEN TREASURES
AbsolutePunk Podcast
Free Music
Sports Forum
Technology Forum
Recommendations
INFORMATION
Advertising
Contact Us
Copyright Policy
Terms of Service
Privacy Policy
FOLLOW
Twitter | Facebook | RSS
PropertyOfZack
PunkNews.org
UnderTheGun
Chorus.fm