well I think im narrcastic in a negative way because if something goes wrong its always my fault. Or im the problem. Like theres something inherently wrong with me in the social situation but in that sense I am only focusing on myself so that is where it comes from. Another example would be if someone didnt return my call or text they are ignoring me or i did something wrong.. possibly a mixture?
Haha you just described me, someone who goes to therapy for social anxiety
I get how you feel. I've often been like "why am I so self-centered/narcisistic always thinking about me
and how much my
life sucks, wondering what I
did wrong when so and so acts this way to me". You can't do that to yourself, though. It's an emotional issue that, at least for me, requires help if it's a daily struggle of yours.
I mean, idk about you 100%, no two people are the same, but for me I just really think negatively of myself, have low self-esteem and just wonder "why would anybody want to hang out with me?". Constantly have social anxiety and get awkward/quiet around people I'm not comfortable with even though I usually don't shut the fuck up around people I do know haha. Some people don't even believe me that I'm shy while others can't believe I talk lol.
Anyway, I suggest finding someone to talk these things out with. I think it really helps. My therapist suggested a social anxiety support group that he runs on campus next semester and I think I'll definitely check it out.