AbsolutePunk.net
   Username
Password
 
Share
03:45 AM on 08/17/13 
#1
Offline
User Info.
joexfm
Regular Member
joexfm's Avatar
NJ
Male - 26 Years Old
I've been struggling for the past year and a half with this certain issue and I'm not sure of the best way to tackle it. I have very strong feelings for one of my close friends. We've known each other for about 5 years. I've always had a small crush on her, but it's grown more as of this past year and a half. We actually dated for a very short time last year and broke it off because of bad timing (she was away at school and I worked long full time hours. Couldn't keep up with the long distance) and decided to stay friends because we care about each other. We really enjoy each others company, but I have accepted that we probably won't work out again. The hard part is that I cannot shake these feelings away. Even if I don't speak to her for a while and feel like everything's okay, it all comes back when I see her. I've never felt this way about anyone in a long time. I thought that this was just some small crush that would go away in time, but years later it's still there. I don't want to bring it up again because I feel it's pointless, but I also don't want to break off the friendship because I cherish it so much. It's a sticky situation. What's the best alternatives for this?
10:47 AM on 08/17/13 
#2
Offline
User Info.
NorthstarPark
Jiggin'
NorthstarPark's Avatar
Houston, Texas
Male - 26 Years Old
My brother went through the same exact thing except he didn't date the girl, try dating around to get your mind off of her. If you have a strong friendship why try to ruin it? Some people are better off as friends.
12:39 PM on 08/17/13 
#3
Offline
User Info.
joexfm
Regular Member
joexfm's Avatar
NJ
Male - 26 Years Old
My brother went through the same exact thing except he didn't date the girl, try dating around to get your mind off of her. If you have a strong friendship why try to ruin it? Some people are better off as friends.

You're def right about that. It just sucks though because she talks with me everyday. Also she's sort of emotionally dependent on me. I get texts from her every day complaining about her day or job or other things. I feel like there's always an attraction I have with her that hasn't gone away.
12:43 PM on 08/17/13 
#4
Offline
User Info.
deanster321
BLEGH
deanster321's Avatar
Birmingham/Huddersfi...
Male - 23 Years Old
If you're sure your friendship isn't worth staking on it I guess you have to suck it up. Otherwise, you might as well put it out there but not as an ultimatum or in a way that's demanding. At least then there'll hopefully be closure.
12:54 PM on 08/17/13 
#5
Offline
User Info.
joexfm
Regular Member
joexfm's Avatar
NJ
Male - 26 Years Old
I was honestly thinking of avoiding her a little bit and try to move on but I don't think that would be a good idea.
06:00 PM on 08/17/13 
#6
Offline
User Info.
Ollie McKraut
Registered Member
Ollie McKraut's Avatar
Male - 23 Years Old
say what you need to say....say what you need to say
11:12 PM on 08/17/13 
#7
Offline
User Info.
upthepunx
Regular Member
upthepunx's Avatar
San Diego, CA
Male - 24 Years Old
01:46 AM on 08/18/13 
#8
Offline
User Info.
thursday727
Real Rock 'n' Rolla
thursday727's Avatar
Wick City, FL
Male - 25 Years Old
Tell her casually "Hey if you ever want to start things back up just let me know because i'm down." Just say that once. If you don't bring it up at all when it's obvious to her that you still like her (it probably is) you'll come off as passive and it will turn her off and if you bring it up too much or make a big deal out of it you'll come off as needy and it will turn her off. Just be assertive, be casual about it, don't put any pressure on her and act like your feelings won't be hurt if it's not reciprocal and at the very least she might use you for sex when she's not getting any.

"You know what a platonic male friend is to a woman? A Dick in glass case. In case of emergency break open glass." - Chris Rock
01:31 PM on 08/18/13 
#9
Offline
User Info.
zkezia
zKezia
zkezia's Avatar
Canada
Male - 22 Years Old
The TL;DR in situations like this is... You'd be dating if she found you sexually attractive. The end.
01:57 PM on 08/18/13 
Offline
User Info.
PAPER R1VAL
#YANKS
No Avatar Selected
South Carolina
Male - 24 Years Old
^ Douchiest answer possible. Not surprised to see who it came from.
03:07 PM on 08/18/13 
Offline
User Info.
zkezia
zKezia
zkezia's Avatar
Canada
Male - 22 Years Old
^ Douchiest answer possible. Not surprised to see who it came from.

Well let's be realistic if she was looking for a mid-life crisis they would be together. She needs to live, eventually she may see the light but nobody on AP can speak on her behalf. Questions like this always confuse me. What are we supposed to say? The OP details are so vague the noises i can make with my ass sphincters would suffice as an equally appropriate answer in relevance to the ones already posted.


Somewhere in that fart, it says "Just go for it, better to have tried that live with regret" pfffffffftttttt~~~~~~
08:36 PM on 08/18/13 
Offline
User Info.
Chalie22
Registered User
Chalie22's Avatar
Philadelphia, PA
Male - 28 Years Old
I would say if you feel this way you should tell her. I mean you might look back on this with regrets but at least you known you took a chance. What if you never take that chance? What if you never know what could have been?

Be confident
03:11 PM on 08/19/13 
Offline
User Info.
joexfm
Regular Member
joexfm's Avatar
NJ
Male - 26 Years Old
Update: told her how I felt. Total 500 days of summer moment. She has feelings for someone that she had never been sure of with me. Now time to actually start moving on.
08:11 PM on 08/19/13 
Offline
User Info.
Chalie22
Registered User
Chalie22's Avatar
Philadelphia, PA
Male - 28 Years Old
Update: told her how I felt. Total 500 days of summer moment. She has feelings for someone that she had never been sure of with me. Now time to actually start moving on.

Good, you got your answer. Kudos to you for not living with regrets. Now, it's time to break away, forget about her, and focus your attention on a new girl.
05:35 AM on 08/20/13 
Offline
User Info.
BlinkAvAfan21
She calls it a mayonegg.
BlinkAvAfan21's Avatar
Male - 22 Years Old
Go listen to For Emma, Forever Ago and cry like a baby, then to Dog Problems to move on and then to The Upsides to cheer you up. Go get a drink with your friends afterwards.



NEWS, MUSIC & MORE
Search News
Release Dates
Exclusives
Best New Music
Articles
CONNECT
Submit News
Forums
Contests
Mobile Version
AP.net Logos
HIDDEN TREASURES
AbsolutePunk Podcast
Free Music
Sports Forum
Technology Forum
Recommendations
INFORMATION
Advertising
Contact Us
Copyright Policy
Terms of Service
Privacy Policy
FOLLOW
Twitter | Facebook | RSS
PropertyOfZack
PunkNews.org
UnderTheGun
Chorus.fm