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11:26 AM on 09/07/13 
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isntnikione
I've never heard of you either!
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Female - 25 Years Old
Really embarrassed to be doing this, but I'm confused and I'm hoping some fellow users ... preferably male could shed some light on this situation?

There's this boy I met on a night out and clicked really well with. I'm 24, he's 19 so I sort of figured I needed to help move things along because it's gotta be a bit intimidating. However it now seems obvious he doesn't want to date me because he's not made another move since our first date, despite texting me that evening to tell me he really enjoyed himself and that he wanted to do it again sometime. He has been really wishy-washy when I've tried to initiate a second outing. So I stopped trying.

However he's definitely not just trying to sleep with me. I'm absolutely certain of that. There's no flirting or late night calls pleading for me to come over. He's actually been very intent on making sure I don't think he's trying to come on to me when he texts me when he's been drinking.

And yet he's not letting the communication fizzle out even when I don't text back for several days. He initiates friendly conversation and texts frequently, even when he's out with his buddies. I thought maybe he just wanted to be friends (which I'd genuinely be happy with). But he hasn't asked to hang out either, since the one time he invited me to a party at his which I was too ill to attend 2 weeks ago.

Is he just bored? Lonely? Confused? Messing with me? I know his last gf definitely screwed him over although he hasn't told me any details, other than to say he hasn't done the whole courting thing in a while.

I'd ask him straight up what the deal is but he seems like the kind of guy who would probably get really freaked out if I did.

I'm not bothered so much about dating at this point, but I genuinely believe this guy is nice and definitely would like to try and establish some sort of friendship if I can. But if I'm being naive, I'd rather just be told. Help me fellow music lovers, for I am majorly stumped on this one.
12:39 PM on 09/07/13 
#2
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Fringe
highfive
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Male - 19 Years Old
I'm turning 19 this month and I would assume by default that a 24 year old would have 0 interest in me whatsoever.

... But I don't know, it kinda just sounds like he has no game. You'll probably just have to nudge him along for a bit.
12:47 PM on 09/07/13 
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Dan CiTi
To Let The World Be
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Buffalo, NY
Male - 21 Years Old
He just sounds sort of nervous and unsure, the idea of an older woman being interested in him is probably strange and new, unless this kid looks like Ryan Gosling or some male model. You just have to let him know he has your approval and stuff and make him feel comfortable enough to make a move because he sounds a bit disillusioned from his previous relationship as well. I highly doubt he's playing hard to get either.
01:20 PM on 09/07/13 
#4
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Jennurna Gray
Happy P and the Goblet of Giggles
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Kenosha, Wisconsin
Female
Honestly, he sounds like me. Not everyone likes to hang out all the time. I text a lot more than I actually make plans with new people because there's less pressure to interest the other person until you know them well enough. Try suggesting you two doing something low stress, like watching a movie you both like together.
01:51 PM on 09/07/13 
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marieeboxx
Cat Lady
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West Coast
Female - 23 Years Old
What other people said. He may be intimidated or whatever because you're older and he might not think he has a chance. But idk. He also could be shy. To me, guys are complicated and its hard to read them.
01:56 PM on 09/07/13 
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mrgenious
the sugary smell of spring time
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Missouri
Male - 22 Years Old
What other people said. He may be intimidated or whatever because you're older and he might not think he has a chance. But idk. He also could be shy. To me, guys are complicated and its hard to read them.
guys are complicated, girls are complicated.

everyone's complicated. if you can read someone easily it's the exception.
02:25 PM on 09/07/13 
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Kassie09
in the empire business
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Pittsburgh, PA
Female - 23 Years Old
I lose interest in people very quickly and I definitely don't initiate conversations with them once I've lost interest..so it doesn't sound like he's just bored. I really think he's intimidated by you being older than him. Initiate a conversation and ask him to hang out, you're going to have to be the aggressor for a little while until he knows you're into him.
08:40 PM on 09/07/13 
#8
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upthepunx
Regular Member
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San Diego, CA
Male - 25 Years Old
The biggest issue you're having is that he is 19 - so he doesn't even really know what he's doing. What were you doing at 19? (You probably had a solid head on you shoulders). Regardless, if you're feeling pushed away and not into it anymore, then don't waste your time.
09:23 PM on 09/07/13 
#9
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kaylasananjou
Count Your Lucky Stars Records / Kayla
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Canton, MI
Female - 21 Years Old
Verified
don't date 19 year olds who know what they're doing. find someone your speed who can keep up.
10:00 PM on 09/07/13 
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ParkwayTom
Forgive me, Nashville
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Nashville, Tennessee
Male - 24 Years Old
He sounds like he doesn't really know what he's doing. He wouldn't be texting you if he wasn't interested on some level. He's just a kid, so don't throw yourself at him but maybe giving me a few more hints would help.
10:20 PM on 09/07/13 
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Ollie McKraut
Registered Member
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Male - 23 Years Old
Invite him to your work after hours and perform a strip tease and lapdance for him
01:45 AM on 09/08/13 
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Fringe
highfive
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Male - 19 Years Old
Invite him to your work after hours and perform a strip tease and lapdance for him

See, I wish more people did this
11:31 AM on 09/08/13 
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White
Pornography and a bag of drugs.
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Orgasmville, NA
Otherkin
Invite him to your work after hours and perform a strip tease and lapdance for him
And? No. At this stage of the relationship, it's one or the other, not both.
11:44 AM on 09/08/13 
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open mind
bastard on parade
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anchorage
Male
hmm....i would have said he's probably not all that interested, because when i was 19 and thought i had the slightest chance to get with a girl that was a few years older then me, i didn't hesitate to make a move.....it was only after a few weeks that the age difference got awkward. mostly because she was kinda embarrassed to admit to her friends that her boyfriend was several years younger then her, and i started to pick up on that.

it's just as likely that everyone else's instincts are right though. i was pretty cocky at 19.
02:44 PM on 09/08/13 
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JoeLovesMO
JoeLovesMansions
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Manhattan, KS
Male - 22 Years Old
I need pics of you to get an idea of your hotness to make a accurate response.



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