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04:17 AM on 10/23/13 
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buck dutter
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Very interesting (and weirdly bleak and sad) article on the Guardian.

Quote:
The number of single people has reached a record high. A survey in 2011 found that 61% of unmarried men and 49% of women aged 18-34 were not in any kind of romantic relationship, a rise of almost 10% from five years earlier. Another study found that a third of people under 30 had never dated at all. (There are no figures for same-sex relationships.) Although there has long been a pragmatic separation of love and sex in Japan – a country mostly free of religious morals – sex fares no better. A survey earlier this year by the Japan Family Planning Association (JFPA) found that 45% of women aged 16-24 "were not interested in or despised sexual contact". More than a quarter of men felt the same way.

Quote:
Aoyama says the sexes, especially in Japan's giant cities, are "spiralling away from each other". Lacking long-term shared goals, many are turning to what she terms "Pot Noodle love" – easy or instant gratification, in the form of casual sex, short-term trysts and the usual technological suspects: online porn, virtual-reality "girlfriends", anime cartoons. Or else they're opting out altogether and replacing love and sex with other urban pastimes.

How do you think this relates to our culture?
06:17 AM on 10/23/13 
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Sean Rizzo
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I don't think it relates to our culture much at all. We're an individualist culture that stresses the value of expressing our emotions as individuals, and they're a collectivist culture that stresses the value of social harmony rather than expressing what is considered too much. Culturally, we approach interpersonal relationships in totally different ways.
07:26 AM on 10/23/13 
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Ghostpsalm
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I'll agree with Sean and say that I don't think it relates to our culture much. I did notice this when I was in Japan last year though and thought it was very interesting.
09:12 AM on 10/23/13 
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jpmalone4
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VICE did a report on this, very interesting watch if you have 15 minutes.

Edit: NSFW
11:40 AM on 10/23/13 
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White
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I'd have some sexual hangups too if I was raised in the birthplace of tentacle rape.
12:59 PM on 10/23/13 
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WeltallAY
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Says "our" assuming every user is American.

This surprises me though, Japan has always struck me as a highly sexual nation.
01:46 PM on 10/23/13 
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deFobbed14yrs
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I'd have some sexual hangups too if I was raised in the birthplace of tentacle rape.

That comment with your avatar match so well.
02:03 PM on 10/23/13 
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deFobbed14yrs
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VICE did a report on this, very interesting watch if you have 15 minutes.

Edit: NSFW

holy shit the last part.
02:34 PM on 10/23/13 
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buck dutter
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Says "our" assuming every user is American.

This surprises me though, Japan has always struck me as a highly sexual nation.
haha my apologies...

VICE did a report on this, very interesting watch if you have 15 minutes.

Edit: NSFW
thanks for this, i've been really interested in reading more about this kind of stuff


i think the actual question is, is there any way that the japanese government can solve that issue? there's no laws that can change a culture, so is technology going to be the end of their race? could it end up being the fate of the human race as a whole?
02:37 PM on 10/23/13 
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Symphonicaxiom
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holy shit the last part.

literally.
02:39 PM on 10/23/13 
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Kassie09
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Paying boys to flirt with you, wow. If those girls visited the US they'd probably be in shock with how many men tried to flirt with them at any bar they walked into.

ALSO
What the fuck at a cuddle cafe. I can understand paying people for sex way more than cuddling. The thought of cuddling with a random person is more repulsive than having sex with one.
02:44 PM on 10/23/13 
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CoopDawg
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02:48 PM on 10/23/13 
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buck dutter
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Paying boys to flirt with you, wow. If those girls visited the US they'd probably be in shock with how many men tried to flirt with them at any bar they walked into.

ALSO
What the fuck at a cuddle cafe. I can understand paying people for sex way more than cuddling. The thought of cuddling with a random person is more repulsive than having sex with one.
it's weird, because at those host clubs and the cuddle cafe, they're not selling sex, they're selling intimacy and conversation. thats whats really weird about it.
02:55 PM on 10/23/13 
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Kassie09
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it's weird, because at those host clubs and the cuddle cafe, they're not selling sex, they're selling intimacy and conversation. thats whats really weird about it.

Yeah, that's why I have such a hard time grasping it because intimacy isn't normally something I think of as being able to be forced, but they're certainly doing it. I guess whatever they need to get by, but I'd think they'd just start..dating each other. The men all seem pretty content with their virtual girlfriends, crazy.
02:56 PM on 10/23/13 
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ominousnimbus
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i think the actual question is, is there any way that the japanese government can solve that issue? there's no laws that can change a culture, so is technology going to be the end of their race? could it end up being the fate of the human race as a whole?
I imagine that may be inevitable in the distant future, unless we preemptively construct a solution that links our individual wants with the overall species' needs. To some extent, I imagine that would entail laws attempting to change culture, though.

I'm not anti-technology at all, nor am I religious at all. In fact, I'm a militant agnostic who embraces technology in every form. But even I have to admit that behind all the loony rhetoric of right-wing Christians who want to "bring back the good 'ol days" of "family values," there's perhaps a grain of truth. They may be right (to an extent) for the wrong reasons. At least, when "right" is defined as valuing the long-term survival and continued growth of the species.

Birth rates are falling throughout most of the Western world, after all, concurrent with technology that's made it ever-easier to live a "self-centered" lifestyle. By that, I mean you can easily choose not to have a family -- or even a relationship -- and not be bored out of your goddamn mind all the time. That probably wasn't nearly as true 30 years ago, before XBox and Netflix, hookup culture in the mainstream, etc.

Sometimes I feel like most people I know my age who are married or headed in that direction are forced more by societal expectations than individual desire. That's probably always been the case. But the force and ubiquity of those societal expectations are decreasing with time, at least in America. And so, if that pressure really is the main thing that's held it together up to this point...

I think I'm more similar to the Japanese dudes described in the article than the average American. (Well, minus the whole "jacking it to a hooker shitting in a bathtub" aspect in the video, at least). Personally, I just don't care; I don't value the long-term survival of the species. But if I did, I'd probably be concerned.



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