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05:19 PM on 02/14/14
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Jrey5388
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Hey! Thanks for being on here to chat :) My question is this:

In circumstances that are difficult to explain, could you give any tips to somebody who had feelings for somebody but just was unable to tell them?? I know for me music usually helps but not always. And a lot of times I find myself with anybody to talk to about this. It's like beating yourself up every single day that you had feelings for a particular individual, and then there is that fear that it will never happen so you're basically just wishing on a miracle at that point. I know it sounds kind of odd, but certain circumstances prevent you from confessing how you feel. So how could someone deal with that sort of stress?? I hope this make sense lol I know this sounds a bit ridiculous. Thanks.
05:33 PM on 02/14/14
#2
Jrey5388
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The friend zone is a tough one!! i've spent a lot of time there. My advice would be to be honest. In the long run, it will get you where you're going, instead of this confused limbo that you're in right now. And i know what you mean about music. Music reminds us it's okay to feel and our favorite songs have a way of being friends when we feel alone.
Thanks :)
05:44 PM on 02/14/14
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Jrey5388
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So, I lost a friend to suicide this week. She and I are in very similar situations. I am old enough to have experienced the complete rejection of my family... I have a sister 5 years older than I am and we weree best friends for a long time. She has not spoken to me in almost 9 years. It is crazy how the distance and time has affected us. I miss her terribly and I don't really miss my mom, because I never really had a lot going on in that relationship, but I miss the idea of what your mom and dad are supposed to be like. I don't have either. I have been in a relationship for the majority of my adult life, and the man that I really believed I was going to marry very abruptly pulled away from me over the Christmas holiday and chose not to speak to me for almost 6 weeks. I am not so great on the self esteem issue at the moment, but even I can say that that is completely unacceptable and I know that I deserve more than that. He and I officially ended things a week ago today.my friends passing has made me think about a lot of things. Life seems to be so hard right now and it doesn't look like things are going to get way better anytime soon. I keep rereading her last few messages on Twitter and they continually break my heart. Some of the last things that she wrote were meant to encourage all of usto remember that life is a fight and you have to stay in it. I'm trying. Thanks for listening.
Hi! We don't know each other but I want to say I am sorry for your loss. Losing someone close to you is never an easy thing to experience. I feel for you when you say you have neither a mom or dad in your life, because I can relate. I just want to say that everything that you're dealing with now is going to make you the strongest person you never thought you could be. I say that because that is what depression has done for me. You're gonna rise above all and I think people along with yourself will admire your courage and strength. Until then, hang in there, FIGHT and look forward to the better that will come because I believe for you that only better things will happen :)

- Justin
05:58 PM on 02/14/14
#4
Jrey5388
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It's so hard to believe Valentine's Day won't suck every year. I'm very cynical about the holiday and refuse to celebrate it. I lost a family member today to cancer and five years ago yesterday I lost my dad to cancer. I was 17. He didn't see me graduate high school, never saw me graduate from undergrad, will never see me graduate with my masters, walk me down the aisle, watch my children grow up… The pain is still unbearable after all these years. Living in a world without him is full of sadness and pain. I'm on the road to moving past the pain and living for him, but it's not that easy. Having to give someone that you love permission to die is the hardest pain imaginable. I stayed strong for my family, but I didn't want to be alive. I didn't see a point, didn't feel worthy of being alive because he wasn't alive. I wanted to take away his pain and let him live for my family. They deserve that. I'm very fortunate to have such a supportive, loving, strong family, but the pain is still real. The hurt is real. Things could be much worse, but this is my worst. TWLOHA always gives me hope, even when I don't want to believe it. I hate complaining to a world full of strangers, but it's hard to find friends who listen and help you through the tough times.
Hi! I am sooooo sorry for your loss. I feel for you - I lost my mom to cancer at the age of eight. I have to say that it really does get harder as you get older. I'm now 25 and I hope to God even to this day that my mom didn't have to go. I'm so sorry :( I hope that what I am about to say will have some sort of an impact. I believe that you will find happiness and that the pain will cease. I have dealt with pain for a long time and it's hard to be yourself or the person people think you are when you're filled with so much of it. Please stay strong and fight and remember you're not alone. Please look forward to the future with optimistic views and look forward to the great things that will come. I tend to think of dealing with all of the bad as getting it out of the way, and eventually it runs out and there is nothing but the positive. I hope that by reading this, this had some sort of affect. Again, I am so sorry.

- Justin
06:14 PM on 02/14/14
#5
Jrey5388
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Justin, you are super cool. Thanks so much. I appreciate these words more than i can tell you.
:)
06:20 PM on 02/14/14
#6
Jrey5388
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Hey, I know that is tough sorry for your loss -- I lost my mom to cancer as well -- and after a lot of negative things happened that really I would have never expected. Lets just say my family life changed dramatically. I know it is hard, but I am glad you have a supportive family. It is hard to find people to listen sometimes, I am glad you could come here. Sorry for all that you are dealing with, please take care of yourself.
Thanks. Please take care also :)
06:30 PM on 02/14/14
#7
Jrey5388
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The hardest part of Valentine's for me is that I'm almost 21, and I've never been in a relationship... or even on a date, or anything. At all. It's not fun to think about feeling perpetually single on the day when all anyone can talk about is love. In high school, Valentine's was the worst day of the year and I always felt left out when all of my friends with boyfriends and girlfriends got treats delivered to classes and big boxes of chocolates. I think I went home each year crying. It's a lot easier in college because my school doesn't do any Valentine's promotions like student governments and clubs in high schools do, but I can't kick this feeling of being left out. I'm following a "Be Your Own Valentine" philosophy this year, but it'd be nice to have someone in my life! I won't settle with someone just to be in a relationship, but it seems like the universe is against me and is hiding all of the guys who would connect with me!
Hey! It's rough. I am a 25 year old guy and I too have never been in a relationship. I actually am turned off by the whole dating scene but at the same time I deal with a lot of loneliness so having that special person would be nice, and everyone does deserve to have that special person. Just think of it as you having been too extraordinary and strong to have to rely on needing that special person. It will happen for you, and until then look forward to it!

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