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07:17 PM on 02/14/14
amenefee
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Hi there,

We're so glad that you decided to join us tonight! That tattoo sounds awesome. We are so glad to hear that you and your dad are still with us. Thanks again for joining us and Happy Valentines Day!
I think you replied to the wrong post hahal. But her and her dad getting matching tattoos was sweet :)
07:17 PM on 02/14/14
mellyonline
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it's my dream to one day intern with TWLOHA! or, at the very least go to H&L or another event like that. Currently saving up money to go to warped tour and to stop by the TWLOHA tent to meet the team! one day i will get there!
07:17 PM on 02/14/14
TWLOHAjamie
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I have a question for Jamie or anyone else that's been in counseling - how do you reconcile the fact that a counselor is someone who basically gets paid to listen to you vent about life? What about friends?

I had a counselor before (that I can no longer go to due to a change in location) that I felt I was almost close friends with, because (against common advice, apparently?) he let me into his life a little as I let him deeper into mine. I've tried to keep up contact a little here and there, because he did make a great shoulder to lean on, but he's too busy with his own life, and other clients, and so on. So it feels like because I'm not paying him anymore, I'm not as worth his time.

Do counselors really care? Why do I spill all of my thoughts out in that room anyway? I find myself struggling with this question all the time, lately.
i'm sorry that you're feeling let down by things changing with your previous counselor. Obviously, counselors are people and people are different... but overall, yes, i do believe that counselors care. And that a lot of good - a lot of healing - can come from counseling. i agree it's a unique relationship and can be tough when you wonder or wish for a friendship, but overall, we've heard hundreds and hundreds of stories of lives beginning to change as a result of counseling.
07:17 PM on 02/14/14
TWLOHAlindsay
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Who came up with the idea to have this chat? It's a very awesome idea.
Hey there, the chat was Jamie's idea about seven years ago. We've also had the support of AbsolutePunk to keep this going. Thanks for being here.
07:17 PM on 02/14/14
Okami
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I know that feeling all too well.

*hugs*
*hugs* Thank you, Haikit. It's nice to know I'm not alone!
07:18 PM on 02/14/14
haikit
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Thank you, Ty. It's difficult because I've been physically alone almost all day today.

It's difficult because it should have been a time of recharge (I'm extremely introverted) yet wasn't.

I'm not sure what would help at this point. I just want to know everything is going to be okay, that I won't always deal with this chronic emptiness...that my mental illness won't always interfere with life, that I'll be able to help people in my someday and be able to tell them things do get better...my recovery has been so rocky the last year or so, hospitalizations, instability, unemployment...I don't know what to do. :(

The last part of your post is exactly what i'm looking for. i wish that i knew things would be better. i wish i had a reason to believe things would be okay again.
07:18 PM on 02/14/14
TWLOHAchristina
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The hardest part of Valentine's for me is that I'm almost 21, and I've never been in a relationship... or even on a date, or anything. At all. It's not fun to think about feeling perpetually single on the day when all anyone can talk about is love. In high school, Valentine's was the worst day of the year and I always felt left out when all of my friends with boyfriends and girlfriends got treats delivered to classes and big boxes of chocolates. I think I went home each year crying. It's a lot easier in college because my school doesn't do any Valentine's promotions like student governments and clubs in high schools do, but I can't kick this feeling of being left out. I'm following a "Be Your Own Valentine" philosophy this year, but it'd be nice to have someone in my life! I won't settle with someone just to be in a relationship, but it seems like the universe is against me and is hiding all of the guys who would connect with me!
Hey kelly_twloha,

Thanks so much for choosing to hang out with us today and for opening up about how you are feeling. It takes a lot of courage to admit when things are rough for us and for admitting that the way certain things are expected in society are fair. Know how strong you are for not being in a relationship just to "be in a relationship". That shows how much you care for yourself because you are waiting for someone that will love and treat you well. We also want to encourage you in that Valentine's Day doesn't just have to be about a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. It is a useful day to tell anyone around you how much you love them and how important they are for you. There is so much pressure on this holiday, but check out Jamie's blog about how sometimes we need to be counter cultural in how we view things. There is nothing wrong with not being in a relationship yet at 21. You are growing so much in this time that you are able to love yourself well and that is such a beautiful gift to have. Know that you are NEVER alone and that we love you!
07:18 PM on 02/14/14
ynahpets
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are we allowed to inbox you guys?
07:19 PM on 02/14/14
MaRiKa997
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The hardest part of Valentine's for me is that I'm almost 21, and I've never been in a relationship... or even on a date, or anything. At all. It's not fun to think about feeling perpetually single on the day when all anyone can talk about is love. In high school, Valentine's was the worst day of the year and I always felt left out when all of my friends with boyfriends and girlfriends got treats delivered to classes and big boxes of chocolates. I think I went home each year crying. It's a lot easier in college because my school doesn't do any Valentine's promotions like student governments and clubs in high schools do, but I can't kick this feeling of being left out. I'm following a "Be Your Own Valentine" philosophy this year, but it'd be nice to have someone in my life! I won't settle with someone just to be in a relationship, but it seems like the universe is against me and is hiding all of the guys who would connect with me!
I totally know how you feel! I hope we both find what we are looking for soon!
07:19 PM on 02/14/14
Okami
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If you need a friend to talk to, you can message me! That's why we are here, aren't we?
Thank you very much, Stephie. <3
07:19 PM on 02/14/14
stephiekaye6532
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Thank you very much, Stephie. <3
Anytime <3
07:20 PM on 02/14/14
TWLOHAliz
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This is a cool thing you guys are doing. Proud to be part of a community that would do something like this
Thanks for joining us! We think it is a good idea too (not only because of today's specific holiday, but because it is great to see everyone come together in one place supporting one another). We hope this forum finds you well!
07:20 PM on 02/14/14
hannahmaye
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Exactly my thought process too. i wish it would happen. Flowers, even from anyone. i've never gotten them and that's such a lonely thought. i started wondering, that maybe if i pretend, build another world in my mind, and escape to it... but that isn't much of a solution, because in the end, i know i'm still by myself.
i know. i don't know how to get myself from telling myself i'm okay alone - to actually being okay alone.
07:20 PM on 02/14/14
thatonegirl331
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hi!!!mmm well first welcome :) so glad you join us!
Well it's difficult. We all cried awake at night...music helped me, but mostly I talked to strangers and read others stories...kind of storytelling...knowing that you're not alone and that what you are feeling is not weird... love ya! mmm I recommend you Erik Zarins twitter:wearebullied he talks about everything and really is a nice guy. Sometimes when I cannot sleep or stop crying he "reads" me hahahaha

I'm not much of an emotional person, which is probably half of my issue. I'm more of the type to keep it all bottled up inside and not let anyone in. My outlet is drawing mostly but sometimes it's not enough and I feel like I'm going back the the place I don't want to go to. I talk to my brother and my fiancé about it but neither of them have been through what I have so it's kind of hard and I don't want to be a burden on them :/. I will definitely look into Erik Zarin though!
07:20 PM on 02/14/14
Jrey5388
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Hey, I know that is tough sorry for your loss -- I lost my mom to cancer as well -- and after a lot of negative things happened that really I would have never expected. Lets just say my family life changed dramatically. I know it is hard, but I am glad you have a supportive family. It is hard to find people to listen sometimes, I am glad you could come here. Sorry for all that you are dealing with, please take care of yourself.
Thanks. Please take care also :)

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