A month isn't that long. I promise it's okay. It's definitely not your fault and I certainly don't blame you in the slightest. I've been missing you so much. I hope you've been enjoying yourself and that your school year's going really well.
It's so understandable about giving up on the website. I hardly post here anymore, I just come to read the news and luckily I checked my wall Of course I want to keep in contact with you! I'd really dislike losing you as a friend. I have a Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Email. Whatever you decide you want to contact me on, and whatever is easiest on you.
I've missed you lots and lots, Liv.

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Oh God it's been over a month Broden! An entire month! I'm so sorry, I didn't even know that you had replied. I hate that we've not talked for so long and it's my fault.
I've read your comment and I want to reply to it, but I'm not going to be on here anymore, I've kind of given up on the website. I'd absolutely hate to lose you as a friend in the process though, you mean so much to me. I was just wondering the easiest way to contact you, if you still want to, aside from on here.
I missed you Broden,
Liv
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Ahhh, Liv! Congratulations on achieving 5k!



You're amazing! Congratulations! It's so well deserved

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That sounds so amazing. I'm sure it's going to look lovely and wonderful when it's finished. Aw, I'm always going to be here for you. I actually think that I'm closer to you than I am to anyone else here on AP. You'll always be one of my very best and most special friends. I hold you in such high regard and I completely adore you. Your friendship really does mean the entire world to me and hopefully I'll always have it. I'll certainly cherish and treasure it for as long as I'm lucky enough to do so. Aw, do you think so? I've always loved the idea of just giving absolutely everything to a relationship and being inseperable and loving every single second that you spend in their company. You're going to find the most perfect guy in the world, Liv. He's going to be entirely and completely yours

Oh my god, you didn't have to disclose any of that information to me. That's so unbelievably personal. I feel incredibly honoured and fortunate that you would trust me enough to tell me what you just did. Forgive me if my response is quite lengthy too. Feel free to skip however much you like if you decide to reply to me. Firstly, nobody is ever going to be out of your leauge. You're deserving and worthy of anyone and everyone that you set your sights on. You're so intelligent, talented, funny, friendly, modest, entertaining, understanding, compassionate, wonderful and loveable. You have one of the best personalities that I've ever been lucky enough to get to know. You're so genuine and people will love you, appreciate you and respect you for just being Olivia. You're special in such a positive way. I remember you telling me about your weight concerns. I hope you don't mind me saying, but you're pretty inside and out. I'm sure that there are so many other people that see that. You should never have to worry about that. As long as you're comfortable with your looks, appearance and features, then nothing else should matter. I think you're absolutely amazing and there's nothing that I would change about you. It must have been so difficult seeing him spend more and more time out, and leaving you alone. I used to feel a little insecure wondering where Georgie was and whether she was okay. I have no doubt that you had a positive influence on Jared. Sometimes all the love and devotion can't change someone, as hard as I'm sure you tired, as much effort as I'm sure you put into the relationship, being there for him, helping and supporting him, as you said to me, sometimes love just isn't enough. I hope that it doesn't hurt anymore because this could never be considered your fault. It was so wrong of those people for making snide remarks and lowering your self confidence and self esteem. You're one of the most wonderful people that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I can't express or describe how sorry I am that you had to go through this. You're never alone though. You have your friends, an amazing support group and you'll always have me. Whenever you want and need. I promise I realise that you've probably come to accept everything that I've said, but I'd just like to reassure you.

I know that I probably couldn't have done anything more for Georgie but I'm constantly asking myself whether I should have stayed with her and helped her in her recovery, provided her with all the love and support that I possibly could and stayed with her and made something out of a relationship that I was foolish enough to think would last forever. Her mother was well within her rights to do that. She was just being a good mother. She was probably so devestated and blamed me because she refused to blame Georgie. I deserved that for just walking away and letting go without a single word. I didn't even say goodbye, Liv. I suppose I blame myself for everything that transpired. The worst thing is knowing that I could have given more than I did, and for the longest time, I hated myself for that. I loathed being who I am because I let the girl that I loved down. As far as I'm concerned even now, I still don't feel that I deserve her forgiveness. I've moved on in the sense that I don't feel any love for her anymore. I just care about her so much and I thought I had closure a little while ago, but now I don't think I've ever had that closure. I'm so glad that you liked the lyrics.

This is so unbelievably, incredibly, amazingly long and I sincerly apologise for that. It's great talking to you again. I missed this so, so much. I feel that I know you better now and that we're closer and I couldn't be more happier about that.



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Ah well it did sound a little sad to me haha. Some of my friends are helping me clear out my room so I can repaint it, so at the moment I'm just chucking paint around haphazardly. It makes me glad to hear you happy too, it makes me happy. Yeah I'm so thankful for so many of my friends, including you. I rely so much on you all.

That really doesn't make you sound like a sap, that makes you sound like you'll be a great partner to any girl. That's all I would ask for in a relationship and it's a great thing that you would do those things for someone. Oh right, I figured your main holiday would be around summer your time. I only have a winter break then, two weeks. Aw well thank you, I respect the way you manage to juggle so many commitments and put your best into everything you do.

First I'll apologise because this will probably end up really long, but I just want to say everything. I haven't got lyrics, but just because I see a lot of parallels I'll explain what happened to me first so I can respond properly to your situation, so that you know where I'm coming from. This happened last year and like you, the person was someone I believe out of my league. His name was Jared, typical football player, handsome, intelligent etc. To be honest, I was amazed that he wanted to be seen with me let alone go out with me. The first months were great and I fell for him so quickly and I started letting other things become less important. School became less important, so did spending time with my family. It became very dangerous very soon, like I began to mould everything I did around him. I started caring about my weight too much (like I told you before, I think, and how I lost more weight than I was comfortable with) and Amanda, who was again there for me, showed me what everything he had spiralled into. At that point I was angry, thinking that something had gone right in my life and people were trying to begrudge me happiness. Then, I guess similar to Georgie slightly, he started going out with his friends more and more often. It started out with the odd drink, which I wouldn't critisize, and next thing I know I'm getting phone calls in the middle of the night, while he's drunk, asking for a ride. And I mean, consistently, every night without fail. Then he began to ask to help him catch up in class or help him with homework he'd missed, because I was his girlfriend. Everything just spiralled and I felt like he was dragging me down with him. I just remember one day, sitting with my family and some friends at dinner, "what am I doing?" I tried to be there for him as much as I could, but no matter how much I loved him, I couldn't make him change, and that hurt for a long time. It destroyed my self-confidence to a large degree, through going out with him and hearing daily "what is he doing with her?" But none of that mattered at the time, because I had Jared. At the time I thought that was enough.

Sorry about the long-winded explanation, but firstly, I really wanted to share that with you, and I thought it would help you better understand where I come from in regards to relationships etc. I'm so incredibly sorry, Broden, that you had to go through that kind of relationship. I can sympathise with a lot of it, like I said above. It's very hard to be in a destructive relationship. I don't think it's silly to say you felt she was your one and only, I think it's amazing that you treasured her so much. I'm not going to criticise her because at some point you loved her and I respect that. Even though the love has faded, I dislike it when my friends critisize him, because I loved him once, y'know? Maybe it's just me. I'm very sorry for what happened to her though. I've seen so many people ruined by drink and drugs etc., one of the reasons I'm reluctant to ever become involved in that type of thing. I think, essentially, as sad as it sounds, sometimes love is not enough. It took me a long time to come to accept it, but sometimes love can only help someone so much and it can't always save everyone. People have to work though problems and resolve them by themselves to reach true closure, and as frustrating as it is and as guilty as it makes you feel, I don't think you could have done anything more for her Broden. I know you tried so hard to help her and I'm sure she'll come to realise how much you cared for her, eventually. I'm so sorry that you went through that kind of hurt and abuse from her mother, I think you were hurting more than they realised and you didn't deserve that extra pain of people blaming you. I feel so bad that you seem to still have guilt over the situation, and in my opinion you were in a very difficult situation and given the circumstances, I think you did the best that you could and not gutless at all. Walking away is sometimes the hardest thing to do and often the best thing you can do to help someone. I hope you can forgive yourself Broden. I'm sorry if this is too personal, but have you moved on? Do you still see her around? I'd just hate to think you were still hurting all this time. I think the lyrics are a brilliant summation of your relationship, thank you for sharing that with me.

Well that was incredibly long so I apologise, but I really feel I know you better Broden and that is great thing. I'll speak to you soon!

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It's completely fine. I've been missing you outrageously, but I hope you're having a wonderful and enjoyable time redecorating. Haha, I don't think it's sad. It always make me really happy to hear that you're having fun and enjoying yourself. I thought I'd change my avatar because I'd had the Busted one for the longest time. I'm also a massive Federer fan so I don't think I'll change this one for a while That's truly wonderful news about your dad feeling better. I was so worried and concerned but I'm just to relieved and thankful that things are okay. It's absolutely no problem at all. I'll post it at the bottom of this comment and I'll give you a brief background story as to the inspiration for writing it. It's not completely finished but I hope you enjoy what I've written thus far, even if it isn't very good!

Aw, Amanda seems like a lovely, caring friend. I'm sure the rest of your friends are equally just as amazing. Wow, what you just said about the person you loved being caught up with things and how it just wasn't working is something that I can relate to so much. I'm so deeply sorry that you had to go through something like that. Aw, you have the most amazing friends, but as I said before, you'll find someone and they'll love you for who you are. I have no doubts about that Aw, you're much too kind and good to me. I just hope that I can make a girl happy. Love, compliment and protect her. I'm such a sap in that regard.

I think this year our main holiday is from November/December until late February? Haha, you didn't complain to me. I thought you handled everything so amazing. You're such a role model to me. You don't have to get back quicker. I understand that you're ever so busy and I'll wait patiently

I wrote this song about a girl called Georgie. I dated her for seven months last year. I'd known her since the beginning of high school and she was really popular and I considered her so far out of my leauge. Eventually we got to talking and we shared the same subjects, we'd sit with each other and copy each others answers on big, important tests. I can't believe we never got caught for that. Our answers were always identical. At the end of high school she went to Machester college whilst I went to Wesley but we still maintained contact and saw each other often because we lived so close to one another. Eventually we got together last year during the end of term one holidays and it was perfect. When you're in love you think it'll last forever and she made me so happy. I considered her to be my one and only, as silly as that sounds. We were preparing for our end of year exams and that's when things started to get difficult between us. Everyday we would meet up after college and study at our local library and she used to get so unbelievably stressed and agitated under the pressure of the upcoming exams. She started smoking and her excuse was that she was just trying to relieve the stress and that she'd quit straight afterwards. She was gorgeous but stopped eating and she wanted to lose weight so she was smoking so many cigarettes. Instead of studying, she would go to parties with other people from Manchester. I was always there for her, supporting her, giving her all that I could but it just got worse. I received a phonecall from her mother abusing me and telling me that I was worthless, that I would never amount to anything, and that I was undeserving of their daughter because she was caught taking illegal substances. Her mother thought that I was the bad influence on her and that I'd lead her down that path. I remember just crying all night. It hurt so badly and I just wanted to let go. I couldn't stay in that kind of relationship. I basically just left her without even saying goodbye. How gutless is that? I didn't even help her, I wasn't there when she needed me most. I wasn't there to provide and support her through her recovery. I've always asked myself, what if I made her recovery that much harder? I wrote this song to hurt myself. It's about me blaming myself for all that happened. I'm sorry I wrote you so much It's such an average song lyrically, full of cliches' and everything.

Georgie, please don't cry tonight
I'm not worth your tears or your time
If I were to kiss your face so gaunt and tired
Could you find the strength to fake a smile?
But if these formulated words refuse
To write these words, to speak the truth
What would you do?
Would you listen as I whisper
"Baby, I never deserved you"?

Can you hear me out here insecure and screaming?
I'm tired, broken down and bleeding
But I've never stopped believing
That you'd pull yourself through
Forgive me, I'm so sorry I wasn't there
I was heartbroken, terrified and scared
Please believe that I've always cared?
I listen as you say
How could you be so gutless to walk away?
Wish you could erase every mistake you've made
Did this not mean enough to save?
'Cause I've spent sleepless nights alone
At 3am crying into your clothes
You know the one's you left at home?
Tell me where did you go?

(This is basically a verse from Georgie's point of view)

Broden, I received your letter last July
Tears streamed gently from my eyes
With shaking hands I smudged your words
Into something less forumulated and unrehearsed
'Cause every word that was conveyed
Formed another pathetic sentence you couldn't say
Lights that flicker eventually fade
But not before they illuminated your every mistake

Can you hear me out here insecure and screaming?
I'm tired, broken down and bleeding
But I've never stopped believing
That you'd pull yourself through
Forgive me, I'm so sorry I wasn't there
I was heartbroken, terrified and scared
Please believe that I've always cared?
I listen as you say
How could you be so gutless to walk away?
Wish you could erase every mistake you've made
Did this not mean enough to save?
'Cause I've spent sleepless nights alone
At 3am crying into your clothes
You know the one's you left at home?
Tell me where did you go?

Have we lost our way out?
We've lost it all it seems
Have we lost our way now?
And are you better off, are you better off without it?
Have we lost our way out?
We've lost it all it seems
Have we lost our way now?
You're better off, you're better off without me.

Can you hear me out here insecure and screaming?
I'm tired, broken down and bleeding
But I've never stopped believing
That you'd pull yourself through
Forgive me, I'm so sorry I wasn't there
I was heartbroken, terrified and scared
Please believe that I've always cared?
I listen as you say
How could you be so gutless to walk away?
Wish you could erase every mistake you've made
Did this not mean enough to save?
'Cause I've spent sleepless nights alone
At 3am crying into your clothes
You know the one's you left at home?
Tell me where did you go?

Broden! Sorry about the little delay, I've been redecorating, which I'm strangely excited about haha. I keep finding all this old stuff I'd forgotten that I had and it's really fun (in a sad kind of way). You're one of my best friends too, of course! I love reading your comments and now you've got a Federer avatar I can look at that and smile as well! Haha. Honestly Broden, I would not be offended whatever you asked me because I know you'd ask it for a good reason. But he's fine now, which is good news, thank you for thinking of us, I appreciate it. I would love very much to read the song about your relationship. I realise it must be a very personal thing so thank you so much for trusting me enough to let me read it. You can just paste it in the middle or end of the comment if you'd like? It would be nice to have a different perspective from a friend about that kind of thing.

My friends have eased up a bit I think. One of my best friends, Amanda, I think has explained to them why I get bothered when they pressure me. She said she didn't want to interfere but she didn't like seeing my upset, which I'm very grateful for. Honestly, it's not so much the person that I miss, but he was a good friend before that. He got caught up in things I wasn't comfortable with and suffice it is to say it just wasn't working. It's not something I think on too often though, I just don't think I could comfortable go into another relationship, and at this point I don't think I need to anyway. I've got great friends anyway, so all is well! Hey that's way too negative Broden! Although I'm guilty of thinking that way sometimes. I think you're such a good friend Broden, and I'm sure an amazing boyfriend to whatever girl you end up with.

Well I'm glad you're all finished up with exams at the moment. I just realised how different the Australian terms are! Is your main holiday from December to January? Haha complain all you want, I know I did when I had my exams. I missed you too Broden! I'll get back quicker next time, I promise!




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Any comments that you send me are greatly appreciated and I thoroughly enjoy reading and responding to them. I'm always willing and in the mood to talk to you. You're one of my best friends and I will always make time for you whenever I possibly can. Your comments are always welcome and I love them I'm so happy and relieved that things are fine. There have been times recently where I've thought about, and wanted to comment to ask how everything's been going and whether he's okay, but I realize that it's so personal. I have been thinking about you both though. I just didn't want to intrude. I actually wrote a song about the whole relationship failure. If you like I could type up the lyrics sometime and show you if you're interested? I completely understand and can relate to where you're coming from. It's so natural to feel the way you do. I'm sure your friends are amazing and really supportive, but it'd be so much easier for you if they didn't keep pressuring you and reminding you about it. I'm so, so sorry that it still hurts, Liv Aw, I'm sure the girl will consider herself to be really quite unlucky if they ended up with me. I always consider myself undeserving of the people I love. I feel they can always do so much better.

I just completed my midterms earlier in the week. I had six in total. Our next holiday is in early September which I'm looking forward to immensely. This second term has been all assignments and essays. I'll stop complaining now though! I miss you so much, Liv. Now that exams and revision are over, I can start getting back to you everyday, or whenever you reply. I miss youuu!



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No it's fine, I feel the same sometimes. I don't know if I should send you more comments, or if you just don't want to talk at that time. But all I can say is that your comments are always welcome. Thank you for saying that. He's okay now. I just took a break for a little while because he was determined to go out and I didn't think that would help him recover. He acted like a kid in that respect which was quite funny. Not that I'm glad that you went through that in a relationship, but I'm glad you understand where I'm coming from - at least one of my friends can know what it feels like. I am over it, or getting there, it's just hard when my friends feel the need to be a constant reminder. They're not too kind about the guy either, which is understandable, but it still hurts. Aww thank you, the same absolutely goes to you! I know you're going to whisk away some lucky girl who will love you for who you are. I can only hope that she'll deserve you!

I'm glad your midterms are okay. I'm a bit unfamiliar with them, so how many exams have you got in total/coming up? Have you got a holiday coming up any time soon? Anyway, I wish you the best of luck, and talking to you now has made me realise how much I missed you these past couple of weeks. Have a great day Broden!



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I'm really sorry. I wanted to comment you and ask how you were and initiate a conversation but I just wasn't sure if you wanted to speak to me because I know that I took quite a while to respond to your last comment. I'm just really happy that we're talking and starting to spend more time together again. Oh my god, Liv. I'm so, so incredibly sorry How's your dad doing? This must be such a difficult time for you right now. I wish him my sincerest well wishes. I'm so glad that he's recovering. He couldn't have asked for a better daughter and someone so special, incredible and wonderful to take care of him. I'm sorry about your relationship. I'm sure you're just going through the natural healing process and it takes people longer than other's to move on I suppose. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. I'll use myself as an example, it's taken me over six months to get over my last relationship. I'm here if ever you need me. I'll always support you and listen and do my best to help you in any situation. Please don't even think for a second that there's something wrong with you. You were happy, you loved him and that takes time and courage to get over that. You'll move on in your own time. You'll find the perfect guy that loves you for who you are, someone that's going to think of you as the best thing that's ever happened to him. Someone that's going to make you the happiest that you could ever imagine yourself being.

Aw, what makes amazing results impossible when I know your results will exceed your every expectation? I'm sure your results will be so great and they'll get you into any college that you wanted/want to apply for. My midterms are going well, thank you for asking. I'm never too busy to make time for my best friends. I can stop revising for twenty minutes to get back to you. You're important to me and I love talking to you. I miss you too, Liv! I hope you're having a wonderful sleep. Sweet dreams!



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Broden, I'd always want to talk to you, no matter what. I would never be angry at you for not replying to me for however long, because I know that if you do, you have good reasons and more important things to do. I've just missed your friendship, that's all. I just don't want to unload all my problems onto you; it's not fair to you. But I appreciate it so much! I'm feeling a lot better now, since I've been out of school.

My dad, who is fine now, was in a car accident so I've been looking after him the past couple of weeks. Also, I don't know if I told you, but I came out of a relationship quite a while ago. My friends have just been getting at me for "not moving on" or whatever, it's just a bit frustrating. I don't know if you can sympathise, but I was very happy and things didn't end exactly pleasantly. It's just tough when a lot of my friends can't see that, acting like there must be something wrong with me. Maybe there is? Anyway, most of this is resolved now so I'm feeling a lot happier and relaxed. Thank you so much for letting me tell you all of this, knowing you're there means so much to me. You mean the world to me too, you're such a great friend!

I'm finding it a bit hard to care about my exams much at the moment. In perspective, like you said, I did my best - so whatever happens, happens. Obviously I wouldn't complain if I received impossibly amazing results, but I'm not holding my breath.

Ooh I sympathize a lot with the midterms. I'm so sorry that you're going to be stressed - if you haven't got time to get back to me, I promise that I'll understand. And worry a lot haha. I hope you do amazingly well in your exams Broden! Thank you for getting back so quickly, I miss you! Good luck with school!



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I've been missing you so much lately, Liv I was going to comment you again but I thought that maybe you didn't want to talk to me and I would completely understand that after it took so long for me to comment you back. Aw, you really needn't apologise. I've just missed your company more than I can even begin to express or put into words. Honestly, you really wouldn't be boring me. I'm genuinely concerned and worried about you. Is everything okay? I'm always going to be here for you if ever you need me. I'll always support and help you to the very best of my ability. You're one of my very best friends. You mean the absolute world to me, Liv.

I'm really sorry that you're still worried about your exams. I suppose it's completely natural and understandable though. I'm certain that you've done brilliantly and exceeded your every expectation. Your results are going to reflect all the tremendous hard word and dedication that you put into your studes and revision. Regardless of your results, you put in the biggest commitment and I'm so extremely proud of you. I promise I'm not just saying that. I admire you. You're so intelligent and talented
Aw Liv You're deserving of me and my friendship. You always have been, and you always will be. I'd do anything and everything it takes to make you believe that. Trust me, if I thought I was losing your friendship, I would fight with everything I had to keep it. You're a wonderful person and you're very important to me. Thank you! I'm actually completing my midterms for the next two weeks so I'm kind of a little stressed at the moment but I have such an amazing support group that's making it so much easier. I can't wait to talk to you more regularly too! I'm never, ever too busy for you. I miss you lots and lots, Liv!



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I guess we're even now I've taken such a ridiculously long time to reply to this? I've missed your company so incredibly much, but I've been having a bit of a rough time of it recently, but I don't want to bore you with my life. I'm so sorry that I put this off because of it though. I feel bad that you had so much to struggle with, that seems like you had so much going on - I'm not at all offended that you didn't reply quickly, you had so much going on so it's absolutely fine.

My exams were a month ago and I'm STILL worried about them. I keep remembering questions from the exams that I didn't know. It keeps getting at me and I'm trying hard to forget. I'm so relieved from stress on holiday so it's a nice feeling.I'm so glad you'll be proud of me, it makes me so happy when you are and when you excel at anything, because you deserve it so much.You're a very talented person and wonderful friend Broden.

I think you underestimate yourself Broden, you're a great person and such a good friend to me, so much more than I deserve. Whenever I feel bad it's nice knowing you're here for me, despite how little I feel I deserve it sometimes. I really hope college has been good to you and that you enjoy your holidays (if you're on them yet?) I can't wait to talk to you gain, like before. I've missed your friendship so much.



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Please don't apologize, Liv. I took the longest time in replying to you and I'm so beyond sorry I've been having midterm revision tests and our teachers have been giving us assignments, essays, projects and standard homework on top of that. I've had my football and football training and I received an extra eight week running schedule because I missed a single training session. I promise I'm not making excuses though. Replying to you comes before anything else and I'm going to be doing that from now on. I swear, Liv. I'm so, so sorry.

I'm sure your exams were fantastic. You put such hard work and such a massive amount of your time into it. You're so dedicated and strong minded, determined, intelligent and talented. I'm sure your exams went wonderfully well. I have such confidence in you. Whatever happens, I know that you've tried your best and I'm going to be so proud of you regardless of your results. I'm crossing my fingers hoping you've exceeded your every expectation but you can never fail through my eyes.

You're such a wonderful friend to me too. Although if I'm honest and truthful, I think you deserve so much better than me.I'm really not that great. You're wonderful though. My week has been good so far. I've just had a lot of work and training to get through. I've been looking forward to the weekend because I knew that I could respond without having to worry about work because I'd completed it. I've been writing some lyrics and listening to some music. How about you? I hope you've had a good week thus far?
I've missed so unbelievably much, Liv. Once again, I'm so sorry about this late reply. I don't deserve a friend such as you. You're incredible.



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Firstly, I'm so sorry this comment took too long! I wasn't even really busy from Thursday, I just didn't realise you had replied. I'm so sorry!
Ah it is great news. I am very excited for the eleven week break. I'm in the first week, I just have to go into school on Wednesday for like a "leaver's day" thing. No lessons, just everybody chilling and saying goodbye haha. I'm just trying to enjoy the holidays and not think about the exams - which is really hard. I'm the kind of person who will remember a question from an exam and keep thinking about it, which is really annoying. At times, I'm tempted to look up a question to check if I got it right, but I know if I did and I definitely got questions wrong, I'd just stress out. So I'm resisting very well.
It's so nice of you to say those things. You are honestly such a spectacular friend to me, I don't deserve someone as great as you .
Psh, don't worry about it. I know you wouldn't do it intentionally. You don't have to find it, it's probably a lot of hassle. Anyway, this comment's long enough to make up for it haha.
What have you been up to? I hope you've kept busy and happy. How's your week(s) been?

As per usual, I have missed you especially more because we haven't talked for a while. I miss you Broden! Get back whenever you can,



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